n i c e h e a r t

Things are looking good

2008-07-23T06:30:00.006-05:00

I went back to work yesterday after my one-week vacation. I am now at my new desk. I haven't got the chance to unpack before I left for my vacation, so that's what I did first thing in the morning. I was wiping and dusting, opening drawers and stuffing them. It's so quiet there. And I was so careful not to make a lot of noise when opening the metal drawers and taking my stuff out of the plastic bags. I didn't want to disturb the other people working. And instead of the Lysol wipes, I brought baby wipes, so it wouldn't give off any smell. You know how those disinfecting wipes have this smell. I didn't even want to bother people with any smell. I just want to join this group quietly.

Update: July 27, 2008

I'm getting settled in my new home. The first day back from vacation was kind of tough. I was away for actually ten days and once I started to get some work done, I felt like my mind went blank. Even if I had my training notes in front of me, it took me some time to get back into the groove. I was away last week, so I missed the meeting where my new supervisor introducted the new staff to the group. So I'm trying to blend in there. I tried to smile at people when I meet them on my way to the photocopier, the printer, the FAX machine or the supply cabinet. A few would smile back and there are some that just have this look on their face that says, okay I see you. And I wonder if they know that I'm one of the new girls. There was one who popped in my cubicle and introduced herself and welcomed me. So that was sweet. I'm still kind of shy to pop in anybody else's cubicle aside from the ones that were in my training group.

I am quite happy because I have been allowed to continue working overtime. Yeah, my former supervisor talked to me and she said that it was fine. She's the one who has to approve it since, as I've mentioned in my previous post, it's her department that I am helping out when I do my overtime hours. So I guess, getting this temporary position is actually a blessing in disguise. Even though I might not get the raise (yet), at least I can still work overtime. Because, I still do need that extra money.

Something new

2008-07-12T08:25:00.006-05:00

I applied for a new position at work. It is one grade level higher than my current position. I love both my current supervisor and her assistant. They are just super nice. And the people in my area are also mostly nice. :) But when I learned about this position, I got interested because that means a higher pay. And I meet the job requirements anyway. I used to fret about being left behind because when I worked at home, I couldn't get any new training. I was stuck in my position for six years. Since I've been back at the office, I've been trained in a few different things.

They need five new people for this position. Three permanent and two temporary staff. I was hoping to get one of the permanent positions. But I thought that if I get the temporary position, which would last for four months, that wouldn't be too bad. It would be nice to learn and do something new even only for a little while.

So when I got the call from the manager and when she asked me if I was still interested in a temporary position, I said yes. She told me that they would review the position after four months and see if they'll still need the extra staff. So there's a possibility that I could become permanent. I asked her what will happen if I don't get permanent. I would be sent back to my department, which wouldn't be too bad. Because as I've said, I like it there and my supervisor is really nice.

We all started training last week. At first, the other temporary staff, let's just call her D, and I were told that we would be moving to the other office, which is just on a different floor. But that we would also be keeping our old desks in our current department. We don't have to move all our stuff, only the things that we need. That is, if our desks won't be needed for use of any new staff that would be coming in our department. But during the course of the week, as I was preparing to go on a one week vacation after training, my supervisor was telling me stuff that are the opposite of what I was told before.

Okay, first, I noticed that she removed me from her (email) mailing list and she also removed my sort box (inbox/mailbox) in our department on the first day of training. On the other hand, D was still receiving emails from her supervisor and she had retained her sort box. That alone had made me feel sad. Like I didn't belong there anymore and I haven't even started in my new department yet. And then on the last day of training, which was also the last day before my vacation, the new supervisor has confirmed with D and me that we could continue working overtime supporting the old department. We are not allowed to work overtime yet in the new department which is understandable since we can't be that productive yet if we are still learning new stuff. She also confirmed that we are keeping our old desks. On the other hand, my old supervisor told me that she and the manager in my old department will be reviewing my overtime and she told me to pack up my desk that same day. Her reason was that, anything can happen in four months. I wouldn't be too happy if they remove my overtime. I still need my overtime. Especially since I've learned, that I wouldn't get the new job grade level until I get fully trained, which I might not since I'm only hired temporarily for four months.

I don't know. I feel like I'm hanging in the middle of uncertainty here. I thought that applying for a new and higher position could only be good. But since I only got a temporary position, I am not too sure now. Or maybe I only have these feelings because I'm venturing into something new and feeling sad for leaving (temporarily) something that has been so familiar to me for many years, that is my old job, routines, and the friends that I have made in that department since I came back to work at the office seven months ago.

Reviving my old blog

2008-07-01T15:28:00.007-05:00

I don't know why I feel like reviving this blog when I haven't posted anything in it for two years. Yeah, I've been blogging in Wordpress for two years now. Well, it also seems that long to me since I have posted a lot of entries there. I just find it odd, yes I find myself odd :) , that I am resurrecting this blog at a time when I'm not even actively blogging. It's true that I can still manage to compose a post at least once a week, but my bloghopping activities have diminished a lot these past six months or so. And I think that's also the reason why my blog stats have dwindled a lot. But I don't really care about the numbers. Okay, so I still check the stats once in a while. But I don't obsess about it. I know there are bloggers who say they don't care, but you know they do. As for me, if people visit my blog, good. Thank you very much. If not, that's fine too. And it doesn't mean I won't visit theirs anymore. I will still do when I get the chance.

So what do I plan on posting here. Maybe just some of my favourite songs, movies or videos. Or some of my silly thoughts and musings :) . Or stuff that I feel too embarrassed to post in my Wordpress blog because as much as I try to be anonymous there, I think it's too late. People I know are reading that blog. :) Or maybe, I can finally blog about work.

New Home

2006-05-16T00:19:00.000-05:00

My journey continues to a new home.

Come on over at http://niceheart.wordpress.com/

Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships

2006-05-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

A few months ago, ABC’s 20/20 featured a show titled, Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships. It discussed the most complex female relationship.

Here’s an excerpt:

Mothers and daughters have a special bond with all its complex emotions – anger, resentment, competition and of course, love. But every son will also hear echoes of his own life with mother.

Mothers and daughters – sometimes they’re enemies, sometimes best friends.

You love her, sometimes you hate her. Sometimes she’s the last person you want to see. But she’s the first one you call for advice. That is the seesaw of feelings between mothers and daughters.

I think every daughter can relate to this.

I’d like to think that I have a good relationship with my mother now. But it hasn’t been always like that.

I remember being labeled a Papa’s girl when I was growing up. I’m not really sure how it started. And by the way, my sister, who always wanted to contradict me back then, was a self-proclaimed Mama’s girl. So you see, the complication started early on. But as far as I’m concerned, I loved both my parents equally. And I’m sure that each one of them loved both me and sister just the same.

And then my parents separated. I can’t really understand why I became loyal to my father even though I chose to stay with my mother. I think my mother resented that because my father was abusive to her. But he was my father and nothing could change my love for him.

I experienced that seesaw of feelings with my mother. One minute I was telling her everything that was happening in my life, and the next minute, I was sneaking out and hiding the truth.

My father has long been gone and my mother and I get along pretty well now. I confide in her and run to her when I have problems. We see each other at least once a week. We go to mass together, that’s because my family doesn’t have a vehicle and she gives us a ride to church. And she insists. She wants to make sure that we go to church every Sunday.

Sometimes she would volunteer to give me a ride to the grocery store. But I have learned that my closeness to my mother should have boundaries. I know she meant well when she didn’t want me to buy those tomatoes because they were so expensive. And my “But Ma, I need these tomatoes for the dish I’m making” isn’t acceptable to her. When she asked me how much those Asian pears and guavas were, I just ignored her because I didn’t want to argue with her. When she asked me to call her the next time I do my groceries and give her the taxi fare instead, I almost did because I knew that she could use the extra money especially now that gas prices are skyrocketing. But thanks, no thanks. And no offense please Ma. I’d rather do the groceries myself.

Here’s some more excerpt from that 20/20 show, Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships:

Deborah Tannen, author of the best-selling “You’re Wearing That?” explains why mother and daughter relationship is so complicated. She says, “Mothers and daughters talk more, talk about more personal topics. That means they may be closer but they also risk offending each other much more.”

There are four flashpoints in the mother and daughter relationship:

1. Appearance - Clothes, weight, hair. Women are judged by how they look and mothers are judged by how their daughters look.
2. Control – Mother sees daughter as a little girl.
3. (Motherly) Advice – Everytime mothers offer advice or suggestion for improvement, there’s an implied criticism. Mother sees it as caring. Daughter sees it as criticizing. If mothers can’t learn how to bite their tongue, daughters need to learn to use humour to diffuse tension.
4. Secrets – Daughters keep secrets from mom if they sense disapproval. Withholding information is a daughter’s way to gain power.

Tannen says that there is no magic formula to the perfect mother-daughter bond. But there are ways to make it work.

1. Bite your tongue.
2. Use humour.
3. See it from their point of view
4. Use praise. It’s also a form of power.

Read more at ABC News Love Her or Hate Her- She’s Still Your Mom.

First Communion

2006-05-09T22:11:00.000-05:00

Last January, Ryland and the rest of the Level 2 Catechism Classes started the preparation for their First Communion.

First, the parents were invited to attend three meetings to guide them how to help the children understand this Sacrament. Like the one for First Reconciliation (Confession), parents were given a guidebook and the children a workbook. And so for one to two nights a week, I sat down with Ryland for about half an hour doing the lessons on his workbook.

On the first meeting, Wanda, the catechism coordinator, asked us parents to share memories of our First Communion. Hers was how she got spaghetti sauce all over her white dress. One dad was how the bread got stuck to the roof of his mouth. One mom said that all she remembered was how she wanted to get out of her dress once she got home. Another mom remembered how she had to wear this long white veil. My sister’s (her daughter is also in Ryland’s class) was how she had to memorize all these prayers and the Ten Commandments, seven deadly sins, etc. Mine was how we had to wear this gala uniform – white dress, white veil, white socks, white shoes. And the thing that stuck in my mind was thinking, “So this is what the host tastes like. It tastes like bread.” Wanda asked me how I felt about that. Was I surprised? Was I disappointed? Honestly, I couldn’t remember.

Wanda also told us about the Orthodox church. They have their Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation – all three at the same time. At the meeting, there were these two parents who belonged to the Orthodox church. They had no memory of their First Communion because they had it when they were babies. Babies were given just a very small piece of Bread. Isn’t that interesting?

The point of having the parents teach the children about Communion is to make this a special experience for them. After all, parents are every child’s first teachers and the home is their first community.

Last Saturday, the children had a retreat. On that day, they also helped make the bread that they were going to receive. It was not the traditional wafer. They made unleavened bread. After the retreat, parents and children had rehearsal at the church.

After months of preparation, the children finally had their First Communion on Sunday. They looked oh so cute and adorable. The girls in their white frilly dresses looking like little brides. And the boys, although not all of them wore suits, were in their Sunday’s best. They marched down the aisle to the altar carrying red roses and then they sat down with their families. It was a very special celebration.

Years from now, I wonder what Ryland will remember about his First Communion. Will it be that he had to memorize the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and The Creed (I Believe)? Or perhaps the nights we spent reading and learning from his workbook. Or how he had to wear his white and black suit and how he had to take off his blazer at church because it was too hot. (It was 27 C.) Or perhaps receiving the bread for the first time. Could it be how disappointed he was that he didn’t get a single toy out of his presents? Or that I said, “First Communion is not about toys.” I hope what he remembers best is the nights we spent together learning his communion lessons and also how he was surrounded by his family and how we had a feast after his First Communion.

What about you? What’s your memory of your First Communion?

Husbands and children

2006-05-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

The other day, the ladies of The View were discussing how one of their producers asked time off from work to spend time with her child. Their boss was very considerate and gave her some time off. Now, one of the ladies who doesn’t have children asked, “What if I ask time off to spend time with my husband, will you give it to me?” The boss said, no, he wouldn’t.

Is it fair?

I remember I had a similar discussion with a co-worker whom I shared a cubicle with back when I was still working in the office. My children were still a lot younger then. There were times when I would be unable to report to work because one of the kids were sick and I had to stay home with them. Lisa, my co-worker, was single and she didn’t have children. She thought that it was not fair that mothers are being given consideration for these absences. Our company has very strict guidelines with absenteeism and she said that if she were the one missing all these days of work, she would be questioned. I explained to her that the days I missed work were not considered absences but were rather allocated to my vacation days. But it didn’t seem to make her feel better.

Let’s go back to that discussion on The View. Do you think it’s fair to the wife not to give time off to spend time with her husband when the boss agreed to give time off to the mother to spend time with her children?

In the 1950’s, women were expected to care for the husband. But times were different then. Women usually stayed home. Now, women are juggling among 1) husband, 2) kids and 3) work. After having kids, it’s hard to focus on the husband because you’re always tired.

I remember this husband who went on strike because he said the wife was neglecting him. The husband told the wife, “You were with me before them.” I don’t even think that’s the point.

Sometimes the husbands complain that they are being neglected. But they should realize that caring for children is a 24/7 kind of work. Perhaps if they offer help more often, that would lift some of the burden from the wives. After all, marriage and parenting is a 50-50 thing.

I am seeing quite a few men now who are being hands-on dads. Dads are changing diapers or bringing kids to soccer games. But mind you. They would change a wet diaper but not a dirty diaper. They would go to their kids’ sports games but not to doctor’s appointments. And why is the mom the one who stays home when a child is sick? Or are there dads who do?

And don’t you also think that husbands should initiate the romance? I know couples that make time for date nights. They find somebody to look after the kids so that they could go out and have time alone. I think that’s good for the relationship. But looking for a baby sitter could sometimes be a challenge in itself.

As for me, I’m not really big on dates. Although it would be nice to have that every once in a while. But what would really set me in the mood for romance is an offer to help with the chores or the children. That way I could relax. But why do husbands offer help only when they want to get some loving (if you know what I mean)? Wives need all the help they can get every time, right?

I think it was also on The View where I heard that the number 2 problem among couples is housework. Money being the number 1.

I know that there are men out there who understand the challenges women have nowadays and they do try to help. I’m not trying to bash men here, husbands and fathers in particular. Actually, I would like to hear their side.

Kitchens are not built for short people

2006-05-02T23:24:00.000-05:00

Martha Stewart had the lovely Kristin Chenoweth (co-star in the new movie RV) on her show last week. Martha usually asks her guests to help cook, bake, garden or do crafts. On this particular show, she and Kristin made Pink Grapefruit Sandwich Cookies.

Kristin is a petite person and she needed an apple box to stand on to reach the worktable. I was amused as she moved around the apple box with her as she helped Martha bake. “Kitchens are not built for short people,” she said.

I can only agree.

I am also a petite person and I keep a step stool in a corner of our kitchen. This blue Rubbermaid product has been a permanent fixture in our kitchen. The kids use it to reach the sink when they wash the dishes. But I am the one who uses it the most.

I use it when I put away food and dishes in the cupboards. I use it when I need to get same food and dishes from the cupboards. I use it to open the window in the morning. I use it to close the window and draw the blinds down at night. I use it when I cook pancit (fried noodles) in the large wok or when I boil pasta in the deep pots. I use it when I mix ingredients for cookies. I use it because I am a short person and kitchens are not built for short people.

The other night, I googled Kristin Chenoweth and found out that she is also a Broadway star and a Tony winner. I also learned that when she was twelve, she performed a song called, “I’m Four-Foot Eleven and I’m Going to Heaven.” That is a title that's also appropriate for me (I hope the last part, too). Now, if I could only find the lyrics of that song.

Disgusting table etiquette?

2006-04-28T23:46:00.000-05:00

My friend, Elaine, sent me this news link from The Chronicle titled, Filipino table etiquette punished at local school. Lunch monitor tells student his eating habits are ‘disgusting.’

This incident happened in Montreal. The lunch program monitor punished a 7-year old Filipino boy because the monitor thinks that the boy’s eating habit is disgusting. The boy fills his spoon by pushing the food on his plate with his fork. This is the traditional way we Filipinos eat our food. I have been here in Canada for 16 years and I have never heard anybody say that this habit was disgusting. Or were people just being polite? I was surprised when I read this news.

The boy’s mother confronted the lunch program monitor after her son had been punished more than 10 times this year and the boy said that he didn’t want to eat anymore. The lunch monitor said, “If your son eats like a pig he has to go to another table because this is the way we do it and how we’re going to do it every time.” Now, come on, he thinks that eating with a spoon and fork at the same time is eating like a pig?

What’s equally shocking and brought the mother to tears is the principal’s reaction. He said to the mother, “Madame, you are in Canada. Here in Canada you should eat the way Canadians eat.” But isn’t this a free country? If it’s not against the law, can’t we eat the way we want to eat? The principal even added that he wants his students to eat intelligently at the table? So what does he mean by that? That the Filipino way of eating is dumb? Really. I find that response very childish.

Just the other day, I was explaining to my kids how we say and pronounce words differently in the Philippines. I told them that in the Philippines, their dad’s name is said Ron, the way they say Ron in the Harry Potter movies and not the same way they say it here in Canada. Eva is Ee-va here but Eh-va over there. My son Ryan said that’s dumb. No, Ryan, I said, it’s not dumb. It’s just different.

I hope the Montreal incident is just an isolated case. Because I’d hate it if my kids were subjected to a situation like that.

My children’s schools promote multiculturalism and they study about the different countries and cultures of the world. And I think that’s good. Knowledge about our diversities should help us tolerate each other’s differences. Right? Because, after all, Canada is a country of mixed cultures. And I thought that Canadians should have learned by now how to tolerate each other’s differences. But I guess not. I think we should educate each other about our differences. But will that cure people of their prejudices? I guess not again.

Chicago - A Music and Arts Experience

2006-04-23T23:44:00.001-05:00

“You’re not shy anymore, Kuya Reggie?” Ryan teased his brother.

Reggie pinched him on his side.

Ryan usually tells him, “Don’t be shy, Kuya Reggie” when we’re at the dinner table. We’d all be chatting and Reggie would just be quiet. I would always try to ask him something just to make him join in the conversation. But since he came back from Chicago, I had been asking him a lot of questions about his five-day trip. (Yes, my dear son is back home in our loving arms.) I was very eager to know about the musical and the concerts and the other places that they’ve been to. And he was equally excited to tell us about all these. He even exchanged Customs experiences at the US-Canada Border with Lola (grandma).

They were gone for five days, but two of which were spent driving (17 hours), one going there, and another going back. The three remaining days were then spent experiencing the Music and Arts scene of Chicago.

The students had a very hectic schedule. They had music clinics at the Wheaton College. They visited the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts, the Chicago Blues Band, The House of Blues, the Bubba Gump on the Navy Pier, and The Art Institute of Chicago. They also explored Michigan Avenue, Millenium Park and State Street. But the three highlights of their trip were seeing:

1. The Broadway Musical - WICKED, which is about the Wizard of Oz told from the point of view of the Wicked Witch of the West. The Witch is not that bad at all.

2. The Blue Man Group concert – I’ve seen a sample of this group’s music at a late night show a couple of years ago. Recently, I’ve also seen a sample of their gag in the Daily Planet. They’re good and very entertaining. Reggie said that he enjoyed their performance and he was actually seated on the front, which is called the Poncho seat because they had to wear ponchos. (A poncho is a blanketlike cloak.) There’s a lot of food and slimy gags involved. I could just imagine. The one I’ve seen on the Daily Planet involved stuffing marshmallows in a Blue Man’s mouth and then spitting them out.

3. The Chicago Symphony Orchestra concert – I think this was a fitting ending for the young musicians’ trip.

Reggie took over 250 pictures. Here's just a few, a summary of his trip. Click on the images for a larger view. Or go to My Photosite.

Growing pains (x3)

2006-04-19T23:06:00.001-05:00

Spring has finally sprung here in Winnipeg giving us temperatures of up to 24 C degrees this past couple of weeks. Time to put away the winter gear and get our lighter clothing out of hiding. It’s when the season changes that I usually discover how my kids have grown in the past six months.

Ryan and Reggie needed new shoes and shirts and so we headed to the malls last weekend and the weekend before that. I didn’t realize that Ryan wears a men’s size shoes now. I had to make sure that the cashier knew that the shoes I was buying were for my 11-year old son lest she charges me another 7% for the GST (goods and services tax) on top of the 7% PST (provincial sales tax).

My boy is slowly growing right before my eyes. He’s an adolescent now. Just two weeks ago, I noticed a zit (pimple) on his forehead. Before I know it, he’ll be bringing girls home.

Which reminds me of the girl who shouted, “I love you, Reginald,” to my 16-year old right there at the center of the mall.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

He just smiled. It must be a girl from his school.

“Is that your girlfriend, Kuya Reggie?” Ryland teased him.

I stretched my arm backwards to reach for Ryland’s hand. He was walking with his older brothers and hesitated to grab my arm. What now? Didn’t he want to walk with his mommy, anymore?

I tell you. I can feel my youngest son starting to pull away from me at times. At church, he would brush away my index finger as I point out the words from the hymnbook. He used to make me point at the words so he could follow along with the song. But he’s pretty good at reading now and he has become more independent.

***

“Are you going to cry again?” That was my friend Elaine on the phone when I told her about Reggie’s school band trip.

“No, I don’t cry anymore. I’m already used to him going away.” That was my brave answer.

Elaine knew about the time I cried the very first time Reggie went away on a camping trip when he was in sixth grade. And the few other times he went to band trips. I haven’t cried the past few times he went though.

I should have let his father drop him off at school on Monday. That was our initial plan. Because his luggage was heavy and it was best if his father helped him. But he had to leave really early and it was still pitch dark outside so instead of walking, I called a cab and told the hubby that I’d go instead. We were taking the cab anyway. I think I just wanted to see my son off because this is his farthest and longest trip yet. I thought I was used to him going away on trips. But the moment I got back in the cab, I got pretty choked up.

It was that same feeling I had when I dropped off my youngest son on his first day of school. I knew that Ryland was coming back home and I knew that Reggie will be coming back home. I know that we should let our children spread their wings but it's just hard to let go.

Reconnecting and Healing

2006-04-15T21:34:00.001-05:00

A few months ago, Ellen DeGeneres talked on her show about how she moved to different schools when she was younger. She said that she doesn’t remember anything. She doesn’t have pictures and so she asked her viewers that if they went to school with her, to please send her pictures. “I’m trying to piece my life together,” she said.

She may have said that in jest, but I know how hard it is to move to different places. I also went to different schools. My memory of each school is also a blur. But, I do have pictures.

Just as Ellen did, I just want to throw out there the list of schools I went to. So if you or somebody you know went to at least one of these schools, please direct them to me or this site. I would love to hear from them. These are schools in the Philippines.

1. St. Mary Magdalene School, Kawit, Cavite – 1971 to 1977
2. St. Joseph’s School, Pandacan, Manila – 1977 to 1978
3. Imus Institute, Imus, Cavite – 1978 to 1980
4. Carlos P. Garcia High School, Paco, Manila – 1980 to 1982
5. Centro Escolar University, San Miguel, Manila – 1982 to 1983
6. JOBS Secretarial School, C. M. Recto, Manila - 1982
7. Datamex Computer Training Services, C. M. Recto, Manila - 1985
8. Philippine School of Business Administration, Sampaloc, Manila – 1983 to 1986

Ellen learned that her high school class, which graduated in 1976 was having its 30th reunion. Since she was busy and wouldn’t be able to come, she invited them instead to have the reunion right there on the show. Of course, she could do that. She’s a very well-known celebrity and has the means to do it.

I have never been to any reunion. Be it a class reunion or a family reunion. It’s one of the disadvantages of being out here abroad and not being able to afford to come home. But in 2002, I was able to contact some my high school classmates. I wrote them in their 20-year old addresses, which I kept. I was so excited to hear from them. We exchanged emails and pictures. And I started a site where I posted pictures, memorabilia and memories of our high school years.

Being successful in contacting my high school classmates, I decided to find my elementary school classmates as well. Not only did I find them, but I was also haunted by childhood memories. Read more about this here.

Why are men such big babies?

2006-04-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

Our local stations are running a commercial of the Dairy Queen Dream Pie Blizzard Treat. Here’s the scene. Mr. Lee and the pregnant missus are sharing the Dream Pie. Mr. Lee takes a bite and dreams about having a baby boy announced when the missus delivers. Then back to reality. It is Mrs. Lee’s turn to take a spoon of the Blizzard Treat. In her dream, it is Mr. Lee who’s on the table about to pop up the baby. Mrs. Lee is holding the video camera and Mr. Lee gets mad at her, “You did this to me.” Now, that is my kind of dream.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if it is the man who gets pregnant and carries the baby?

On the “Ask an expert” segment of Balance with Dr. Marla Shapiro the other day, the question was: Do women feel more pain than men? Answer: Not necessarily. But women can put up with more pain because they suffer more pain. Women get menstrual cramps and they give birth. They are used to the pain.

Sometimes I get annoyed when my husband takes a week off from work because of a cold. I know, I’m bad. But he can be such a big baby when he’s sick. I get sick and I can still manage to work. Okay, that’s because I work at home. But still, when I’m sick, I can’t lie down and stay in bed. I still have to get up, help the kids get ready for school, feed them, or attend to their needs and still do the chores. When the husband is sick, he grumbles and stays in bed all day. Or lies on the couch and watches TV or sits infront of the computer for hours. Oh wait, I think he does these too even when he's not sick. Now, can you blame me if I get irritated?

If it was turned around and the man is the one who gives birth, do you think they wouldn’t be such big babies?

The Box of Peace Colours

2006-04-09T22:46:00.000-05:00

One of the things I like in my children’s schools is that they are encouraged to write (creatively) even at a very young age. I’m not sure if this is true for all schools here in Canada. The teachers make the kids keep a school journal where they write at least once a week. They are not strict with spelling when it comes to journal writing, especially to those kids in the lower grades who are just starting to read and write. They are instead instructed to sound out the words. (For those who grew up in the Philippines, remember learning to read with ba-be-bi-bo-bu? None of that here.) Of course, they still have to know the right spelling when they have their spelling tests and when they are in the higher grades. But for creative writing, more focus is given on expressing their ideas.

They also write poems every once in a while. I don’t remember writing poems when I was in elementary school. The only thing I could remember is trying to come up with a haiku in my sophomore year in high school.

At the end of every school year, I gather all my children’s writings and compile them in separate binders. We sometimes look back at them. It’s fun to see how their handwriting and work improve as they grow older.

Ryan’s class studied a poem similar to the one below a while ago. They were asked then to write one of their own. Sometimes, I have no idea how much my kids have learned until I read their work.

Photo Credit: Earth Science Picture of the Day

The Box of Peace Colours ©
by Ryan Carlo, Grade 6, 2006

I had a box of colours.
I tried to open it but it wouldn't budge.
I tried to open it again and it opened.
In the box it was full of sludge.

I drew a picture.
I had no black for the lost and lonely.
I had no gray for the smoke we're smelling.
I had no red for the people who sacrificed at war.
I had no green for the army soldiers attacking.

I had yellow for the sun shining bright.
I had orange for the sun setting down.
I had blue for the clear high sky leading us home.
I had white for the light guiding us through the night.

I drew a picture with happiness
and used the colours in my box.

© 2006 Ryan Carlo

Ryan's Week at the Soup Kitchen

2006-04-05T23:13:00.000-05:00

Before Confirmation, candidates are prepared to become fully responsible member of the Catholic Christian Community. As a young person, the confirmand already understands that there is hunger, poverty, loneliness and need all around us and in the underdeveloped countries of the world. So they are invited to choose a Christian service project to do a good work for someone who is needy. Ryan’s class was also provided with a journal to record their experiences.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, Ryan and I volunteered at the soup kitchen last week. He wrote his experiences in his journal. They were given a list of questions that needed to be answered in the journal. The main points were: What did you - See, Judge, Act, Reflect. I found his observations very direct and honest. I’ve also included his entry from December when his class delivered Christmas hampers in different households in the city.

Ryan's Christian Service Project Journal

Dec 17, 2005
Christmas Hampers

On this day my catechism class had no catechism because we are doing Christmas Hampers. First, we went to Br. J----'s house. In there we put food in the hampers. Then we take some hampers with our group and drive it to the location on our sheet. Our leader in my group was my teacher in catechism. The first house we went the person had a dog but his christmas tree was small. His railing outside his stairs was broken. The second house we went the person had big T.V.'s and lots of food. He didn't seem poor.

After we were done giving the Christmas hampers Br. J---- treated us to McDonald's. This day was fun but a lot of work. I saw people who were poor and who didn't look like he was poor. I decided to help people with Christmas hampers along with my classmates. This activity we had to put food in the hampers, give the hampers and go to McDonalds. The people we gave hampers to were happy to see us helping. I spent about two and a half hours.

Mar 28, 2006
Volunteer at Missionaries of Charity

Today was the first time to volunteer at the Missionaries of Charity. Me and my mom were the first ones there. While I was there, there were some other people volunteering too! Their names were Muffy, Shane and some other people. First we had to cut hotdog buns in half and put them back in a bag. Next, we had to put chips in plastic bags. We served hotdogs, soup, bread with margarine and donuts and muffins. I saw people coming in to sit and eat. I decided to serve them food. I actually served food and ask if they want water or coffee. Washing the tables, setting them and serving them - that's what I did also. Other people that we served were hungry and we served them so they weren't hungry. This activity took three and a half hours.

Mar 29, 2006
Volunteer at the Missionaries of Charity

Today I went with my cousin. First I had to take bread out of the bag then place it on the table. I had to cut bread by cutting thin strips on one side then the other side. Then I had to spread butter on the bread that wasn't cut. Also we had to put two cups of sugar into a bag. We had to make seventy bags. We served soup, sandwiches, bread with butter, donuts, water and coffee. When I was serving I saw the same people from yesterday. I decided to volunteer again. Doing chores was involved also. I felt sad to see a young person eating here. I spent about 3 and a half hours.

Mar 31, 2006
Volunteer at Missionaries of Charity

Today there wasn't very much people. There was about twenty to thirty people that we served. While we were serving we said a prayer. But first I had to spread butter on the bread. There was a lot of bread. My mom came with me to help. She had to cut onions. She was almost crying because she had to cut lots. We served soup, bread with butter, coffee, water and tuna sandwiches. I thought the day was done but we had to do lots of cleaning and chores. It took four hours so I was very tired. I saw people from previous days that came here because they don't have food. Doing less serving and lots of chores was involved.

My version:

The soup kitchen is run by the nuns of the Missionaries of Charity. This is the same Order that Mother Teresa belonged to. They wear the same habit - white with the blue stripes on the edge of the veil. The regular volunteers are mostly retired seniors. Since it was Lent and last week was Spring break, there were also a lot of young volunteers.

It was my first time to volunteer at a soup kitchen and so I really didn’t know what to expect. The nuns keep a very clean kitchen. We were even asked to wear aprons and hairnets for girls and hats for boys. Everything is sanitized. They serve the hungry as if they were patrons in a restaurant. I couldn’t help but smile when one complained about a strand of hair in his soup. I didn’t think it was one of the helpers’. But the nuns courteously replaced his with a new bowl of soup.

The patrons were mostly Metis Indians (Aboriginals). I was surprised that Ryan didn’t mention this in his journal. Because that was the first thing that I noticed when they started coming in. It probably didn’t occur to him. Or it could be that he has been exposed to the different cultures and nationalities here in Winnipeg since he was born. But what struck me was his concern for them when we left the kitchen on our first day there. He asked me if they were homeless. And I told him that I didn’t know. The next day I went there, I asked one of the senior volunteers. She told me that they do have homes and they receive welfare money from the government. But I guess they couldn’t get jobs. One patron was telling us that he didn’t finish high school and there was one Polish lady who couldn’t read English. The last day that we volunteered, there were only a few people who came. I guess that was the day that they got their money and they must be out there spending it somewhere. Who knows where their money goes. We could only hope that they spend it on food and clothing. I saw a lady there who looked wasted, her hands shaking. As much as I’d like not to judge, your guess is just as good as mine.

But the Sisters don’t judge these people. They take them graciously and are very friendly with them. They know their names. I also learned that the Sisters visit these people at their homes or in the hospital if they are sick. The Sisters also have an after school program for the kids and they also teach catechism in nearby parishes.

It had been a tiring week for me since I also worked that week. But I had fun meeting new people, the volunteers who were very friendly and how could I forget Nelson who entertained us with his lovely voice. And I was glad that I have been able to help in the little way that I could.

Where did Spring break go?

2006-04-02T23:29:00.000-05:00

The temperatures are getting warmer everyday. Most of the snow has slowly melted. The start of Spring is not a pretty sight here in Winnipeg. The grass is soaking wet. There is sand everywhere. It sometimes gives me the creeps to find out what has been buried in the deep snow all winter. I see cigarette butts and pieces of garbage at bus stops. Two bags full of Fall leaves have been unearthed, or should I say, unsnowed in our backyard. Oh, I have heard other things that are worse than that.

I usually catch up on sleep, reading, watching tapes/DVDs during Spring break. But none of these happened. Okay, I did watch King Kong with my family on Saturday night but I was half asleep after the first half. I thought it would only be 90 minutes long. I started to drift away after the first two hours. “What happened?” I asked everybody when I woke up and saw the ending credits on the screen. I have to borrow that DVD again. Or is it worth it?

I can’t remember the last time I sat down to read a book. I started reading The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields a few months ago and it still lies there on my desk, the last chapter waiting to be finished. I have bought two books recently, The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan, which was on sale at Coles for only $6.99 and the paperback copy of The Da Vinci Code, which I found at Staples and cost only $10.99. I can’t wait to read these two, but I got to finish The Stone Diaries first.

It’s been a very hectic week for me. Hectic has been my normal lately. I accompanied Ryan to his volunteer work three times this week, including Saturday. He wasn’t too happy earlier this week when I told him that he had to start his Christian service project while he had no school. And so I was really surprised that I never heard a complaint from him after his first day at the soup kitchen. I think something inside him has been transformed. He had just been studying in his Confirmation book about how the Holy Spirit transforms us through Confirmation. I think he learned a lot during his week at the soup kitchen. I will write about this next time.

You like him more than me

2006-03-28T23:09:00.000-06:00

I have been busy these past few months preparing my 2nd grader for his First Communion and my 6th grader for his Confirmation. Just like Ryland’s preparation for his First Reconciliation, I am also the one teaching my boys about the first two sacraments I mentioned. I think our parish has a really good program in that they involve the parents in teaching about their Catholic faith. As the workbooks have repeatedly mentioned, the family is every child’s first community and the parents are their first teachers.

So, I’ve been really busy every night sitting with each one of my two boys, alternately, with their lessons. One child would hang around while I spend time with his brother. I knew that they were wishing that it were their turn that night. You would think that they would be happy that I am spending a one-on-one time with them at least every other night. But alas, there’s never enough time to spend with them.

Ryan, my 6th grader, started to volunteer this morning at a soup kitchen in our neighbourhood as part of his 20-hour Christian service project requirement before he gets confirmed in June. So I took the morning off from work to accompany him. We got up earlier than usual, which was really a sacrifice on Ryan’s part because it is Spring Break after all. He should be sleeping in but instead he had to get up an hour earlier.

We were finishing breakfast when Ryland came downstairs at around 6:45 am, quite early for him to be up as well. He must have heard me and Ryan talking in the kitchen. But we were getting ready to leave and I didn’t have time to serve him breakfast (anyway it was too early for him to be up at that time) so I sent him back to bed.

Knowing that he’s such a sensitive boy, I knew that he didn’t take that really well. He had his blanket over his head when I came up and that meant only one thing. He must be crying. I tried to console him and promised to give him a treat when we came back. I kept my promise.

Tonight, as I tucked him into bed, I asked him what he did after Ryan and I left this morning. Did he go back to sleep until his Kuya Reggie got up and helped him with breakfast? No I cried again, he said. Oh my, here we go again.

“You like Kuya Ryan more than me,” he said.

I was dumbstruck, flabbergasted, astonished.

“Ryland, that’s not true. I like you all the same,” I told him.

Trying to convince him so, I told him, “I hug you lots, but I don’t hug him (because he won’t let me), do you still think that I like him more than you?”

He nodded.

“I kiss you but I don’t kiss him (because he won’t let me), do you still think that I like him more than you?”

He nodded again.

“I like you all the same.”

I wouldn’t stop until I convinced him.

“I still carry you when I bring you downstairs in the morning (even though it hurts my back), but I don’t carry him, do you still think that I like him more than you?”

He nodded again.

“I lie down here in your bed at night until you fall asleep, do you still think that I like him more than you?”

He nodded again.

“I like you all three the same.”

What is a mom to do?

As usual, I embraced him after he said his prayers and stayed with him in bed. Just before he fell asleep, I asked him, “Do you think I love you?”

I saw a nod in the dark.

A Case of the Flakes

2006-03-22T20:14:00.001-06:00

I saw the tiny white crumb-like stuff on the back of the navy blue sweater as he got up after shutting down the computer. White flakes on a dark shirt used to be a common sight a few years ago, before my husband treated his dandruff. But this guy, who was five feet and two inches tall, was not my husband. This was my fourteen-year old son.

“What is that on your sweater, Reggie!” I blurted out as I flicked with my fingers the white flakes under his neck. I parted his thick black hair in different areas to confirm my suspicion. I saw patches of crusty scales. “Did that hurt?” I asked him when I scratched off some of it and more flakes fell on his sweater.

“No,” he simply replied.

“You have some kind of rash on your scalp.” I avoided using the word “dandruff.” Children don’t get dandruff. Only adults do, I thought.

Read more here.

Working vs. Staying at Home

2006-03-17T20:44:00.001-06:00

This entry is supposed to be a comment on Hsin’s musings on her decision to stay at home after the arrival of her first baby. She relates about how her career-oriented friends made her feel bad about having made that decision. But she has no regrets. She’s expecting another baby soon. I have a lot to say so I decided to post my comment here.

In this modern age when most of the women are entering the work force, there arises the battle between the working mom and the stay-at-home mom. You must have heard the arguments of both sides. There are career-oriented mothers who can’t imagine spending the whole day at home and there are those who just really need the income. Then there are those mothers who want to be with their children all day long so as not to miss out on their child’s development and first experiences.

I think I am sort of in between the working mom and the stay-at-home mom. I work at home, you see. (I’ve talked about working at home before. See links to related entries below.) I can’t imagine myself not working. I love taking care of my kids and the home but I’m not a domestic diva. My domesticity is very basic and really has been brought upon by necessity. I don’t bake from scratch and I cook not because I love doing it but because I need to feed my family. I can’t really spend the whole day everyday being just domestic. I have to do something else, like work. I’d love to volunteer or travel, or perhaps do crafts, but I need to work to help support my family.

Friends often ask me if I don’t have any intentions of going back to the office. You see, I am stuck in my position (which is far from managerial) as long as I am working at home. If I want to be trained for a higher position, I need to go back to the office. My friends at work have been promoted to higher positions since I left about five years ago. I’ve been left behind. And it doesn’t really bother me. I enjoy what I am doing. I have no ambitions of going up the corporate ladder. Some may find it odd, but that’s me. I am content with providing just enough for my family to get by. Don’t get me wrong. I’d take a higher income. Who doesn’t?

But I have been given with this wonderful opportunity to work at home, and I immediately grabbed it. Originally, I decided to work at home to save on daycare fees. I even doubted if I could work at home while at the same time looking after my youngest son who was still three years old then. But I began liking being at home. I’ve experienced dragging my kids out of bed as early as 6:00 a.m. Dealing with temper tantrums and rushing to make it on time at work can be very stressful. Now, I don’t have to rush the kids in the morning. We all have a relaxed breakfast together. I do my work when they are gone to school. I am home when they get home. Even when they get noisy and start to bicker, I can still continue to do my work. I have become immune to the distractions. It’s comforting to me that they are in my presence. They know that I am there if they need somebody to talk to especially if they’d have a rough day at school.

My kids need less attending to now. They were 3, 7, and 11 when I started working at home. I’ve experience leaving them at daycare and babysitters. But I don’t feel that I missed out on their development. I still experienced the firsts: the first smile, the first time they rolled over, the first step, all the other firsts. I also felt the guilt of leaving them at the care of someone else, especially that first day back to work. But I don’t regret it. I never did.

Some stay-at-home moms may claim that their kids are more well-rounded or more well-behaved than the ones who go to a babysitter or daycare. But I beg to disagree. I think working moms can also raise well-rounded children if they guide them in the right direction and spend enough time with them when they are not working.

I think there is no right or wrong choice with regards to mothers working or staying at home. Each mother has individual needs and she should decide depending on what she wants and what she thinks works best for her and her family.

Read more about my sentiments, challenges and experiences in working at home through the following links:

Confessions of a work-at-home mom
Downsides of working at home
My sentiments
The bliss of working at home
Long-term goals
Working, appointments and dismal weather

Just trying to matter

2006-03-13T23:13:00.000-06:00

Roberto Benigni jumped on his chair when he heard his name announced as the winner for best director (Life is Beautiful). Halle Berry didn’t care to show her ugly cry when she became the first African American to win the Oscar for Best Actress (Monster’s Ball). The following year, Adrien Brody kissed Halle Berry on the mouth when he accepted his best actor (The Pianist) award.

The most recent unforgettable Oscar moment for me is the grace and elegance Reese Witherspoon showed when she won Best Actress (Walk the Line). I have been rooting for her even though I haven’t seen the movie when the awards show aired. I love her work and I was so excited for her.

I still can’t get over her acceptance speech. She kept her composure. She started by saying that Johnny Cash and June Carter had a wonderful tradition of honoring other artists and musicians and singers. And so she thanked the people involved in the film including co-star Joaquin Phoenix.

I’ve seen the movie a few days ago and I think that Joaquin did a superb performance as well. It now made sense to me what Reese said about “just trying to matter.” Cash and Carter was brought together because of the same circumstances in their childhood. Johnny’s father left a painful impression on him that he was the bad son. And even later in his life when he became successful, his father still thought that he was nothing compared to his brother. June on the other hand, thought that her sister was the better singer that’s why she tried to be the funny one to compensate for not being “that good.” Johnny was the first one to tell her that she was really a good singer. He was the first one to believe in her. And she was grateful for that.

Reese said, “I am so blessed to have my family here tonight. My mother and my father are here. And I just want to say thank you so much for everything, for being so proud of me. It didn't matter if I was making my bed or making a movie. They never hesitated to say how proud they were of me. And that means so very much to a child.”

I agree with Reese. In my own little way, I also try to show my children how proud I am of them. Whether they’re making their bed, dressing up by themselves, brushing their teeth by themselves, reading by themselves, winning a game of basketball, or playing the flute in front of an audience. I see the gratitude in their eyes when they have been patted on the back.

I also want to point out that it’s not good to compare your children with one another. It irritates me when people compare my three boys, especially when they hear it. There have been quite a few times when people would come up and say that one of my child is more handsome than the other. What did they think my children felt about that? Kids, or people in general, shouldn't be compared, to their faces for that matter. Every individual is special in his/her own special way. When I was a child, I've heard people say that my sister was prettier, lighter(mas maputi), and bubblier (mas bibo)than I was. These comments made me recoil inside my own little shell. I was already shy and comments like these just lowered my self esteem more.

When my child comes to me and say that he’s not as good as his brother in basketball, or he’s not as good in math as his friend, I remind him about all the other things that he’s good at. “But you’re a good speller,” or “But you’re a good reader,” or “You’re good at printing and drawing.” When Ryland gets intimidated by his older brother, Reggie, who already knows that he wants to be a musician and he doesn’t know yet what he wants to be when he grows up, I assure him that he will know when he gets older. And you bet that I will support my children whatever career or calling they want to pursue.

In her speech, Reese also said that her grandmother, “taught me how to be a real woman to have strength and self respect, and to never give those things away.” I’ve watched Reese in a few interviews and she really conducts herself as a real woman. She’s very polite and discreet. I don’t know if it has to do with her Southern upbringing. But I like her a lot.

She said in an interview with Oprah that she almost backed out of her role in Walk the Line when she learned that she would have to sing and use her singing voice in the movie. She told the director that she couldn’t sing. The director told her that he really wanted her to sing in the movie. So she took voice lessons and learned to sing and she and Joaquin even made an album. Reese learned 8 songs and Joaquin, 26 songs, and he even learned to play the guitar. I think they both did a great job.

Recommendations:

If you want to see some of Reese’s work, go check out Legally Blonde, which also earned her a Golden Globe nomination. I also like Election where she starred as the obnoxious overachiever Tracy Flick who is running for student body president. And The Man in the Moon, where she starred as the 14-year-old Dani Trant who falls in love for the first time.

I’ve recently seen Just Like Heaven, where Reese starred as the spirit of a beautiful woman. It’s a feel good movie. Another fun movie to watch is Pleasantville. Reese starred as one of two teenagers from the 90’s transported to a black and white 50’s sitcom.

The Music and Passion of Barry Manilow

2006-03-10T22:44:00.000-06:00

“Her name was Lola,
She was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair
And a dress cut down to there.”

Barry Manilow sang Copacabana when he made a guest appearance at Dancing with the Stars during the Samba and Salsa week of Season 2. My kids also watched the show with me and my two younger boys were making fun of Barry. They said that he looked like a bird with his hair ruffled like that. I know that Barry is not the macho kind of guy. Actually, he looked kind of geeky. But hey, I have been a fan of Barry’s music since the 1980’s and I was hurt when my kids laughed at him.

There, I said it. I am a fan of Barry Manilow. But I don’t know if I can call myself a Fanilow. I didn’t even know that this word existed until I saw that episode of Will & Grace a few years ago.

According to Wikipedia,

“A Fanilow is a name for someone who is a big fan of the singer Barry Manilow. The name originated in the 1970s when Barry Manilow was in the height of his popularity. It takes the "F" from Fan and the "anilow" from Manilow and makes a catchy nickname.”

Unlike Cheryl and the other characters in that Will & Grace episode, I don’t spend the night waiting in line for tickets to a special Barry Manilow concert. I haven’t even been to any of his concerts. And the only memorabilia I have of him is an old, almost worn-out cassette tape of Manilow Magic – The Best of Barry Manilow.

At a recent inteview, Barry said that it took him only 15 minutes to write Copacabana. Barry won a Grammy for this song for Best Pop Vocal Performance for 1978. Another reason my kids were making fun of the song is because of the name Lola, which is what they also call their grandma. (Lola is grandmother in the Filipino language.) They’re probably trying to visualize their grandma with yellow feathers in her hair dancing the merengue and the chacha.

Before Barry became famous, he was a commercial jingle writer and singer. Then he worked as a pianist, producer, and arranger accompanying Bette Midler. And did you know that, although he was known as a songwriter, he didn’t write most of his songs? Ironically, one of them being I Write the Songs.

“I write the songs that make the whole world sing
I write the songs of love and special things
I write the songs that make the young girls cry
I write the songs, I write the songs”

But it doesn’t matter to me. I still love his voice and the songs he sings.

My all-time favourite Barry Manilow song is Mandy. At first, I couldn’t understand why Barry was singing about Mandy until I realized that unlike in the Philippines, Mandy is actually a girl’s name here in North America.

“I never realized
you made me so happy, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
I need you today, oh Mandy”

Another favourite is Weekend in New England. It talks about a very recent break-up and a yearning that’s still fresh.

“And, tell me when will our eyes meet
When can I touch you
When will this strong yearning end
And when will I hold you again
I feel the change comin'
--I feel the wind blow
I feel brave and daring!
I feel my blood flow
With you I can bring out
All the love, that I have
--With you there's a heaven
So earth ain't so bad”

I also like Looks Like We Made It. Barry sings about old lovers who are now in other relationships. The sight of her stirred old feelings in him.

“There you are
Lookin' just the same as you did,
Last time I touched you
And, here I am
Close to gettin' tangled up
Inside the thought of you
Do you love him as much as I love her
And will that love be strong
When old feelings start to stir
Looks like we made it
Left each other on the way,
To another love
Looks like we made it
Or I thought so, till today
Until you were there everywhere
And all I could taste was love
the way we made it”

Trying to Get The Feeling Again is not that popular, but I like the lyrics.

“Doctor, my woman is comin' back home late today
Could ya' maybe give me something?
'cause the feelin' is gone and I must get it back right away
Before she sees that I've been
Up, down, tryin' to get the feeling again
All around.... tryin' to get the feeling again
The one that made me shiver, made my knees start to quiver
Every time she walked in”

Barry recently released a new CD titled, Barry Manilow The Greatest Songs of the Fifties. In that episode of Dancing With The Stars, he sang one of the tracks in his latest CD, Unchained Melody, which is another favourite of mine. My two younger boys started to giggle when Barry was singing. I told them to keep quiet and when they wouldn’t, I sent them out of the room. I’m sorry, no one messes with my Barry.

Oh my, am I a Fanilow, or what?

Reeve tragedy hits home

2006-03-07T22:42:00.001-06:00

I was saddened and a bit emotional this morning when I heard that Dana Reeve passed away last night. Dana, the widow of Christopher Reeve, announced last August that she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She never smoked. She used to work as a singer in clubs where she was exposed to a lot of second-hand smoke.

Ate Bing, a family friend of ours, also died of lung cancer. She never smoked either. Her nephew, whom she sponsored to come here in Canada and lived with her, was a heavy smoker and smoked in the house.

We are now seeing many incidences of lung cancer brought upon not only by first-hand smoke but by second-hand smoke as well.

I am glad that our government has taken actions by banning smoking in enclosed public places.

I’m also glad that schools have taken action as well in teaching even as young as 5th graders the effects of smoking in your body. My children know that their lungs will turn black if they take on the habit of smoking. There are now public advertisements on TV that show us that smoking can cause not only lung cancer but also heart disease, stomach cancer, throat cancer and mouth cancer.

Smoking and lung cancer hits home to me. My father was a heavy smoker. I remember him sending me to the corner store when I was a little girl to buy him a pack of cigarettes. Newport cigarettes, he would tell me. Sometimes he would add, the one with the blue seal.

A few years ago, I was going through my mother’s old photo albums to look for pictures to post in our family website. I noticed that my father was holding a cigarette in his hand in some of his pictures.

My parents separated when I was only 12. I wasn’t really able to spend a lot of time with my father after that. Years of drinking and smoking took a toll on his body. He had a stroke in 1991 and was paralyzed from the neck down. He was also diagnosed with lung cancer. After four months, he died. He was 53.

Dana Reeve was only 44 and was survived by his son, Will - an orphan at 13 years old. My heart breaks for him.

In his 1998 book, “Still Me,” Christopher Reeve recalled that after the accident, when he was contemplating giving up, his wife told him: “I want you to know that I'll be with you for the long haul, no matter what. You're still you. And I love you.”

I had admired Dana for the unwavering love and support she gave her husband after he was paralyzed. She stood there by his side, even giving up her career. And after he died and then she was diagnosed with lung cancer, she still continued to show courage and determination. What a remarkable woman.

What they should give up

2006-03-04T21:56:00.000-06:00

The days are getting longer and the temperatures are getting warmer. But it is still winter here in Winnipeg and there are still big piles of snow everywhere. We may be used to it, but five months of cold weather can be a real drag.

My two younger ones are starting to get bored and have been constantly bickering these past few days. I have been working longer hours and have been in low spirits since the year started. My body is aching and my patience is getting shorter.

“Get out of my bed! Go in your own bed!”

“Get off me.”

“Stop looking at me.”

“Don’t hit back.”

“Mommy, Kuya Ryan called me a name.”

Get the idea?

So, I wasn’t really in a very good mood when I had this conversation with Ryan two days ago.

“Mommy, when does Lent begin?”

“On Ash Wednesday.”

“I wonder what I’m gonna give up. Mmn. I think I’m gonna give up chocolates. Nah. I’m giving up doing chores.”

“Ryan, you give up good things, not chores.”

“Mmn. What should I give up?”

“What about giving up fighting with your brother. Giving up making him feel bad. What about that?”

When Ryan came home from catechism today, he told me that they did a fun activity. They popped up balloons and they each got a strip of paper inside the balloons. This is what’s written on Ryan’s.

Give up one TV show today and spend that time helping a family member.

“Mommy, can I pick another day to do this? I have to watch Pokemon today.”

From the car window on the way home from church, I’ve seen the snow piles on the streets have become higher since we’ve had two 10 cm snowfalls the past few days.

“Move, I can’t reach my seatbelt.”

“You move.”

Yeah, the bickerings continue.

My head hurts. Somebody please give me Tylenol. I think I’m going to bed early tonight.

Snow Eagle

2006-02-27T21:54:00.000-06:00

This snow sculpture is located infront of the Legislative Building. I took the pictures when I went downtown last week. It was a bit cloudy then and there were light flurries. I wasn't able to get a front shot because it was in the middle of Broadway Avenue and there was no pedestrian crossing on this side of the street. Besides, I wanted to get out of there fast as it was cold and my hands were freezing when I took my gloves off.

The Paradox of Our Time

2006-02-23T22:51:00.000-06:00

My 11-year old son, Ryan, will be celebrating his Confirmation this Spring. So, I am once again busy attending meetings to prepare him for this. During the first parents’ meeting, the catechetical coordinator read The Paradox of Our Time. She said that this was written by a student who had witnessed the Columbine shootings. But there is this website that claims otherwise.

The Paradox of Our Time

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Read more about The Paradox of Our Time at http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/paradox.asp

Aren’t they all true? Sad, but true.

These are the lines that struck me most, some apply to me and some I’m guilty of:

“We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time.”
“We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.”
“…stay up too late, get up too tired,..., watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.”
“These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare.”
“These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.”

Chicken Adobo on Martha

2006-02-21T23:12:00.000-06:00

It’s International Food Week on the Martha show and I was excited to hear Martha talk about the Philippines and our classic dish, chicken adobo. (Photo taken from www.marthastewart.com)

She invited Romy Dorotan, owner and chef of Manhattan’s Cendrillon, to cook chicken adobo. Romy's recipe is very elaborate and even included coconut milk, which I didn’t know you can add to this dish. I cook mine only with soy sauce, vinegar, garlic and ground pepper.

Romy also brought his sous-chef, Perry Mamaril, who demonstrated how to grate the flesh of coconut from a coconut horse. I anxiously waited for him to squeeze the coconut milk from the cheesecloth. It brought back childhood memories when I saw people do this back home.

You can check out Romy’s chicken adobo recipe on Martha’s website. (Or click on the picture above.)

It makes me happy that a celebrity like Martha noticed the Philippines and our delicious dish. Also, on the show, a Filipino group called the Kinding Sindaw, performed the Butterfly dance.

The Martha show acknowledged that it was recorded prior to Friday’s devastating mudslide in the Philippines and that their thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by this tragedy. The Filipino community here in Winnipeg is also horrified by this news and is raising a disaster relief fund for the survivors of this tragedy.

Ryland's Birthday Party

2006-02-19T21:47:00.001-06:00

“She’s bossy.”

That’s what Ryland said when I asked him if he liked his new Grade 2 teacher, who just came back from Australia through the Teacher Exchange Program. I met Miss S before. She was Ryan’s Grade 2 teacher as well, and she didn’t seem bossy to me. I have also met Ryland’s classmates. He invited some of the boys last year at his 7th birthday party. And I’ve seen their behaviour – typical six- and seven-year old boys. I can understand why Ryland would see Miss S as bossy.

“She’s bossy.”

I wondered if that was how I came across Ryland’s friends as I watched the videotape of his 8th birthday party, which we celebrated last week. I noticed that my voice overpowered those of 11 seven- and eight-year olds. I had to speak my loudest in order to be heard by our little guests who were constantly talking.

After our experience last year, you’d think that I would have known better. But hey, it’s been a year. I have a very short long-term memory. I forgot.

He invited eight classmates last year. I should have cut down that number, but no. I couldn’t say no when he said that he wanted to invite 11 this time.

The parents started bringing the kids at around 1:00 p.m.

One dad said, “Is it really three hours long?”

“Yeah, it ends at 4:00 p.m.”

He must be thinking, Goodluck. Three hours with 11 rambunctious kids.

Another dad said, “Have fun!”

Oh yeah. I’m gonna have fun. If your definition of fun is trying to entertain and control 11 seven- and eight-year olds, nine boys and 2 girls.

All the guests arrived. First, we had pizzas. Nobody wanted the spaghetti nor the pancit (fried noodles), which I worked hard to cook earlier in the day.

After they ate, they wanted to go upstairs. “No, we won’t go in the bedrooms.” Ryland didn’t want them there because last year, they made a big mess and he wasn’t too happy about it.

They went downstairs in the basement but my husband sent them back upstairs after a few minutes. He said they were pushing and shoving and he was scared of what would happen to his stereo and speakers.

So that meant no Playstation games. I entertained them with board games. But they got bored too soon. Just before 2:00 p.m., I asked them if they wanted to watch Pokemon. Yes was the unanimous answer.

“We will watch downstairs but I want everybody to behave. Rule number 1, feet off the couch. Rule number 2, no pushing. Rule number 3, no running or jumping.”

So, for about half an hour, there was peace and quiet in the house.

Then it was time for cake. One boy kept dipping his finger in the cake.

Ancie said, “Mitchell, quit it.”

“Okay, everybody, look at the camera. Brody, Brody, look here. Okay guys, evvvvrybooody look heeeeere.” That last sentence was said in a very demanding voice.

“Guys, one more. Look at the camera.”

They loved the ice cream cake.

And then, it was piñata time.

“Guys, move back. Staaaay back.”

When the piñata broke, they scattered around to pick up the candies on the floor. I quickly picked up Mitchell before he got crushed by the bigger kids.

Last year, we had a petty theft during the piñata. So, I got smarter this time. I asked them to put all the candies in a bowl and we sorted it after wards. Everybody would get a fair share.

“Get one of each kind. Put them before you.”

“Guys, be nice.”

“Guys, one of each kind.”

“No, this is the same kind. You’re supposed to get only five candies. If you have more than five, that’s not right.”

Then I gave each one of them a goody bag with some more treats in it.

“Can we go upstairs now?”

“Oh, okay.”

My voice was a lot calmer when Ryland opened his presents. He let his friends play with some of his newly acquired toys while waiting for their parents.

Each one of the kids thanked Ryland before they left. One mom asked her son if he had a good time. He said yes. I think they really did have a good time. And I don’t really think that they found me bossy.

I always ask myself why go through with this every year, every kid’s birthday. I think always knew the answer all along. It’s the smile on my child’s face after every party. If they’re happy, then I’m also happy.

Winterpeg sights

2006-02-15T23:31:00.000-06:00

Winnipeg has been nicknamed Winterpeg because of its cold and long winters. We are now in the deep freeze having temperatures of minus 28 C and windchill of minus 32. Brrr.... Here are some sights that are common here in the winter.

Plugs (and extension cords) sticking out of cars.

Mountains of snow.

Shoveled pathway walled by a pile of snow.

Drinks chilling on the snow.

Foggy eyeglasses. This happens when you're outside in the frigid weather and then get inside a heated shelter. It's such a hassle to wear glasses.

Tagged

2006-02-12T21:26:00.000-06:00

Tagged by a not-so-desperate housewife

4 jobs I've had in my life
1. Accounting clerk
2. Junior accountant
3. Order filler
4. Benefits examiner

4 movies I could watch over and over again
1. The Never Ending Story (first movie that had a big impact on me)
(My kids have a big influence on the movies below.)
2. Toy Story (Ryland used to watch this everyday when he was about 3-4.)
3. Star Wars – The Phantom Menace (love the pod race)
4. The Harry Potter series (love the books, too)

4 Places I've lived
1. Noveleta, Cavite, Philippines
2. Pandacan, Manila, Philippines
3. Pasig, Manila, Philippines
4. Winnipeg, Canada
(I’ve also lived in Imus, Sampaloc, and Mandaluyong)

4 TV shows I love to watch
1. Survivor
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Dancing with the Stars
4. Oprah

4 Places I've been on vacation
1. Atimonan, Quezon
2. Atimonan, Quezon
3. Atimonan, Quezon
4. Baguio City
We used to go to Atimonan a lot when I was a little girl. I haven’t been on vacation since I went to Baguio with my mother when I was 24. :(

4 websites I visit daily
1. Philstar.com
2. Yahoo mail
3. Pinoyblog.com
4. pinoyatbp.

4 of my favorite foods
1. Chicken Adobo
2. Pork Sinigang
3. Pancit bihon (see picture here)
4. Chocolates

4 places I'd rather be right now
I'm happy where I am right now but I wouldn't mind going to these places.
1. In the office to have lunch and catch up with friends
2. Manila, to visit family and friends
3. Toronto, we’ve been planning to go visit an aunt there (and also sight-see) for the longest time
4. Florida, our parish priest just announced that he’s going there on vacation. Sounds like a fun place to be instead of being stuck here in minus 20 C degrees.

4 bloggers I'm tagging
1. Ange
2. Hsin
3. Bing
4. Watson

Boys just want to have fun

2006-02-09T21:39:00.000-06:00

Excuse the mess in the boys’ room. I had to get a quick snapshot of Spiderman with Ryland’s sock over its head before Ryan discovered what his little brother did to his “action figure.” It’s not a doll, it’s an action figure. There are no dolls around the house because I don’t have any daughters, only sons.

Only in a house with sons will you see something like this. (Am I right, parents out there with daughters?) Only in a house with sons will you constantly hear kids talking about their private parts casually. Where else will you hear, “Mommy, Ryland is yucky. He showed his 'titoy' to our cousins.” Or “Mommy, you want to see my 'titoy'? It’s standing up.” Only in a house with sons will you hear kids comparing their farts. The ones with sound are odourless and the soundless ones are stink bombs.

So you see, it’s fun to live with boys.

I’ve written the post below a while back.

Of sons and daughters

I only have sons and I don’t know what it’s like to have a daughter. I may have a slight idea because I was one of two daughters and I grew up with cousins who were mostly girls.

I’ve often been asked what it’s like to raise three boys and I usually say that I think it’s not that much different from raising girls. Of course, we don’t have Barbie dolls and frilly dresses hanging around the house. Instead, we have Hot Wheels cars, Lego pieces and action figures which we always find in every nook and corner of the house in spite of the boxes, drawers and containers that have been set aside for these toys.

My sister has daughters and I get a glimpse of how it is to have girls. I think it was about two or three weeks ago when I was at sis’ place. My nine-year old niece, Ancie, asked her Nanay if she could hug me, for no reason at all. Her Nanay said yes and Ancie hugged me. I hugged her back. I thought that was so sweet.

And that is one thing where boys are different from girls.

Last week, when R and I went to Ryan’s basketball practice, I noticed that Ryan (he’s 10 years old) pulled his arm away from mine when I was holding him as we crossed the street. It happened twice that day. Was it because he didn’t want people to see that his Mommy was holding him?

I do understand that he’s growing up and he’s starting to pull away, like his Kuya did. I should have been used to this by now but sometimes I still feel that pinch in my heart when it happens.

On the other hand, my seven-year old Ryland still lets me hold his hand when we go to his basketball practice/games or when we are out shopping or crossing the street. And you bet that I’m gonna hold on to him as long as he will let me.

Other related posts: Four boys and a mom, Oops, He did it again.

Playing in the snow

2006-02-05T21:42:00.000-06:00

Winnipeg broke the record for the warmest January this year since records started in the 1870s - this city, which has been nicknamed Winterpeg because of its frigid winter temperatures.

My kids and my sister’s took advantage of the warmer temperatures in December and January and turned our backyard into a winter playground. They made a huge snowman, built snow forts, dug foxholes, played with toboggans and slid on snow hills.

When life gives you snow ...

2006-02-02T22:00:00.000-06:00

Winnipeg, the capital of Manitoba, has been nicknamed Winterpeg because of its long and cold winters. Although we’ve had a milder winter so far, we usually get a lot of snow and experience extreme temperatures. But one thing you’ll admire about Winnipeggers is our ability to be positive about all of these. So when life gives us snow, we …

... make (huge) snowballs.

... make a snowman.

... make snow sculptures.

Allowance 2 - Teaching kids to be responsible

2006-01-31T23:31:00.000-06:00

As I read the comments in my previous post, I noticed that most of those who left comments give allowance to their kids. It made me wonder if I’m the only one who doesn’t. And so I asked five parents here in Winnipeg if they give allowance to their kids.

Mom A doesn’t. She said that once, she gave her son allowance but his classmates would borrow money from him and never paid back.

Mom B does. But her kids get allowance more for extra chores that they do around the house. Most of their needs are already being provided for, but it’s a fun way for them to earn their money and to spend it or save it as they choose.

Mom C doesn’t. Her son does not have interest in money yet. His schoolmates would also borrow money from him without paying back.

Mom D doesn’t. When her kids were in elementary, she gave them money on occasion when they wanted to buy something and she let them keep the change. She also gave them money on birthdays and Christmas. When they turned 16, they took on part-time jobs and she stopped giving them money.

The one dad that I asked does. He gives his kids just enough for snacks or if they don’t bring lunch or if they stumble upon something in the store. With a little money in their pocket, they won’t be out of place with their friends if they happen to go to 7-11 Store and buy chocolates or slurpee.

Like Mom C’s son, my children do not have that much interest in money either. As Mom B said, most of my kids’ needs are well provided for, too.

I noticed that some do give allowance in return for chores. I give my children chores but they don’t get paid for it. Although, I have to admit that if they want me to buy them something big for their birthdays or Christmas, I sort of remind them to be more attentive to their chores.

I do try to instill in my kids’ minds the value of money. They know that we don’t have a lot and they can’t have all the things that they desire. I have also set up a savings account for each child. They put in some of their birthday and Christmas money in the bank. When they want to buy something and I don’t have the extra money, they take it out from their account.

I guess in the end, we, as parents, want to teach our children the value of money and how to handle it responsibly. I don’t think that there is any right or wrong way of teaching them. We all do it differently depending on what works best for us and our children.

Thanks, guys, for all the input.

Allowance

2006-01-29T13:55:00.000-06:00

“Allowance? What allowance?” Julius said to his 13-year old son Chris. “I allow you to eat my food. I allow you to watch TV. I allow you to use my electricity and use my water.”

I thought that was funny. It was a scene from an episode of Everybody Hates Chris.

It was 1983 and Chris spotted this leather jacket on a display window. Almost everybody at school was wearing leather jackets and he wanted one, too. But he didn’t have any money and he couldn’t really save up for it because he didn’t get allowance.

I don’t give my kids allowance, either. There is no canteen or cafeteria at school and they bring bagged lunches. School is also walking distance from home so there’s really no need for an allowance. I give them money for book orders, hot lunch orders or any other school supplies and fees. I buy them toys and games occasionally.

When Reggie started Junior High, I gave him $5.00 a week just in case he wanted cold drinks from the vending machine instead of his juice box, or when he and his friends wanted to have lunch at A&W. But he barely touched the $5.00 I gave him that first week. I would tell him that if he needed money, just ask me. He never had any need for it. If he wanted a CD, I gave him money for it.

So my kids never really needed an allowance and they never asked for it.

How about you, do you give your kids allowance?

Fruits galore

2006-01-24T22:37:00.000-06:00

I was in heaven last weekend when I saw guavas at Superstore. Of course, I bought some. This fruit has a sweet flesh and tiny seeds that can also be eaten. It was only a few years ago when I started to see guavas here in Winnipeg. The ones that are sold here are as big as apples. The ones I grew up eating in the Philippines were smaller and not as sweet.

A few months ago, I was in the same fruit and vegetable section at Superstore when I saw the balimbing (starfruit). I was so excited then because it was the first time I saw balimbing here. I’ve forgotten what they taste like. And they were also quite big. Twice the size of the ones we have in the Philippines. So I bought a few and eagerly showed it to my kids when I got home. I cut it crosswise to show them the star shape. At first they were reluctant to taste it. When I took my first bite, I told them it was very juicy. The taste was somewhere between sweet and sour, but you don’t really need salt. It was good. Reggie liked it but the two younger ones didn’t care much.

Balimbing is a Filipino term used to describe people (especially referred to politicians) who switch sides or loyalties depending on their needs.

Another fruit that is quite big in size compared to the ones in the Philippines is the banana. Let the picture speak for itself.

Banana, cantaloupe, guava, red delicious apple, star fruit, navel orange.

Ryland's tooth

2006-01-22T21:43:00.000-06:00

These past few months, Ryland had been asking me when he was gonna have a loose tooth. It seemed that almost everybody in his class had lost at least a tooth. He felt left out.

Finally, a few weeks ago, he had a loose tooth. Boy was he glad! He wiggled it with his tongue. He wiggled it with his finger. He wiggled it all the time. It became looser every day. He couldn’t wait for it to fall out.

Ryan said, “I lost my first tooth when I bit into an apple. It happened at school. I got a loonie (Canadian dollar coin) under my pillow that night. I think Mommy put it there. Because tooth fairies are not real like Santa is not real, right Mommy.”

Yepsiree.

But why don’t I remember the first time I lost a tooth, or any tooth for that matter? The experience must have been a traumatic one for me. I do remember hearing stories of tying an end of a string to a loose tooth and the other end to a doorknob and then pulling the doorknob away from the tooth to yank it out. I also don’t remember going to the dentist a lot. When I was a little girl, going to the dentist meant having either a tooth filling or having an extraction. Very scary for a young child. Kids now are lucky that their parents have dental insurance and they have the luxury of twice-a-year visits to the dentist for routine check-up, cleaning and even fluoride treatment.

So, we were having pizza for supper last Wednesday while watching “Lost” when Ryland’s tooth finally fell out. I thought it was the pizza that did it.

“No, Mommy, I pushed it with my tongue.”

“Okay, give me your tooth and we’ll keep it in a container like I did with your brothers’ teeth.”

Now, let us see that toothless smile.

Cute! And what’s cool is that I can see the new tooth already peeking from where his baby tooth was.

Forgiveness and Stress

2006-01-19T22:19:00.000-06:00

Last Christmas, I heard someone say, “I still can’t forgive him for what he did to her. He is the reason she died of lung cancer. If he didn’t smoke in the house, she would still be here with us.”

I wanted to jump in and tell the unforgiving person about the Forgiveness course I had taken when I was preparing my youngest son for his First Reconciliation just the previous few weeks. But I thought, who am I to preach about forgiveness? I myself had been having a hard time forgiving somebody who repeatedly hurts me (emotionally). Besides, this unforgiving person is more pious than me and I was not in the mood for one of his religious debates.

There is a saying that goes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” It’s easier said than done. Forgiving can be a very hard thing to do.

I know, and you all probably do, that forgiving is good not just for the soul, but also for the body.

Read the rest of this entry at "It's Your Turn: Health" at PINOYatbp.

Thanks for the Memories - Revisited

2006-01-16T12:14:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling a little melancholy these past few days and I thought about another time when I felt sad. Hence, I am re-publishing one of my earlier posts from September 2004. This is one of my favourites.

I bought my washer and dryer at a garage sale about ten years ago. They were still in good working condition after all those years, although the outside of the body now have patches of rust. I changed the washer fan belt shortly after I bought it.

Two weeks ago, my sister asked me if I wanted to buy her washer and dryer since she was buying new ones. Ronald have always wanted to buy a new set of washer/dryer because he claimed that our old ones could be very noisy and they distracted his music listening down there in the basement. He agreed to buy Lina's washer/dryer. Her new ones were delivered today. I have to get rid of my old ones. I was thinking of giving them away to charity or to any friend who might be interested. But instead, I asked the delivery guys if they could dispose them off for me. They agreed to do it at a reasonable price.

As I watched the two delivery guys carry off my washer with two wide yellow belts strapped on their shoulders, choreographing their steps up and down the basement stairs, I felt a lump rose in my throat. I was sad to let the washer/dryer go.

Once or twice a year, I clean out our storage in the laundry room. Some clothes and stuff - I give away to my sister, or to charity. I don't have a hard time giving those away. But this time I was really having a hard time letting go of our washer/dryer.

They were one of the first appliances I ever owned. I used them every single week. I was always the one who washed our clothes. They stood there in the basement as I tried to remove apple stains on baby shirts, green grass stains on my children's jeans, and red chapstick marks on Reggie's sleeves. They were there when I tried to shake out shredded tissues that were left in pockets and when I tried to soak Reggie's light grey Power Rangers shirt that turned pink when Ronald did the laundry while I was in the hospital with my second baby. That's why when I delivered my third baby, I was anxious to get home so that I could sort the laundry myself before he washed them.

I guess it's the memories that come with my washer/dryer that makes it hard for me to let go. Anyway, those memories will stay with me even though I part with my old rusty appliances. I'm sure that I will make new memories with my new ones.

The Timeless Music of MJ

2006-01-11T22:20:00.000-06:00

My parents loved music. When we were still in Cavite, we had this turntable that played vinyl records. My sister, Lina, who was around 4 0r 5 years old then, loved impersonating Karen Carpenter singing Stop, Mr. Postman, waving her hand in front of her face. She also impersonated the young Michael Jackson singing Happy, turning around while she sang.

This was the picture I had in mind while I was listening to Happy in 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection: The Best of Michael Jackson CD. I loved this song and I still know the lyrics by heart. I just wonder why it has sort of a sad melody when it is about Happy.

Sadness had been close as my next of kin
Then happy came one day, chased my blues away
My life began when happy smiled
Sweet, like candy to a child
Stay here and love me just a while
Let sadness see what happy does
Let happy be where sadness was

Some of my favourite songs in this CD are Ben, One Day in Your Life, and Music and Me.

I bought The Best of Michael Jackson CD and Michael Jackson Greatest Hits History Volume 1 when Michael Jackson was all over the news due to the child molestation case. I’m keeping my opinions on this to myself. But I remember Ryan, who was about 9 or 10 at the time, couldn’t look at the TV when MJ’s face is on the news. MJ just looks too scary to him. My youngest son, Ryland, would keep asking me if he was a girl because he had long hair. “No he’s a boy,” I would say. “He’s ugly,” he’d say. “Hey, you shouldn’t use that word,” I’d say.

These two CD’s were on the music rack and I couldn’t help it but buy them. I grew up listening to his music. They just bring back memories. And in order not to confuse my kids, I explained to them that it’s MJ’s talent that I admire, not the person that he has become.

Between the two CD’s, I enjoy listening to Greatest Hits History Vol 1 better. I know most of the songs, some of which became popular during my high school and college days – the days when I discovered love and heartaches. Besides most of the songs in this one are more upbeat than the former.

The slow rhythmic beating of the drum in the intro of Billie Jean always makes me shake my bum even while I sit in my desk. And he gives us a couple of advices in the lyrics.

People always told me be careful of what you do
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother always told me be careful of who you love
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

And I like the catchy refrain.

Billie Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

The faster beating in the background of The Way You Make Me Feel makes me move my shoulders back and forth. The lyrics remind us how it feels when we are attracted to somebody. I love it when he says…

Go On Girl!
Go On! Hee! Hee! Aaow!
Go On Girl!

The creaking sound of a door opening, the foot steps and the howl at the beginning of Thriller is very clever. I didn’t see a video of Thriller until I came here in Canada in late '89. I didn’t own a TV in the 80’s and I had to rely on my imagination for the visuals of his songs. Beat It is more upbeat than Thriller. And I think this is the reason why I like the former better than the latter.

All I can say about Bad is that it makes me tap on the keys of my keyboard faster. I pretend like I’m tapping the keys of a piano instead. No, I don’t play the piano.

I used to sing along whenever I would hear She’s Out of My Life on the radio. I was still pining then for a love that I have lost. I could relate to the lyrics.

So I've learned that love's not possession
And I've learned that love won't wait
Now I've learned that love needs expression
But I learned too late

I could just feel the pain when his voice quivers at the end of the song.

Damned indecision and cursed pride
Kept my love for her locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

And don’t you just love the lyrics of Man in the Mirror.

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change.

And also that of Heal the World. I like the timber of his voice here and the melody.

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

In Black or White, he sings …

It don’t matter if you’re black or white.

Why then, oh why, did his skin colour turn from black to white?

I think he really did want to make the world a better place but he just got messed up for some reason or another.

A love that will never grow old

2006-01-09T22:07:00.000-06:00

The first time I heard about the movie, Brokeback Mountain, and learned that it stars Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, I immediately got interested. I will definitely wait for that DVD, I told myself. I didn’t know yet what the story was about. But if it stars these two fine actors, it’s a must-see for me. I’ve seen the works of Heath in A Knight’s Tale and Monster’s Ball and Jake in October Sky and A Good Girl.

Then a month later, I learned that Brokeback Mountain was about gay cowboy lovers and there was controversy all over the place. It striked my curiousity more. Now, I couldn’t wait to watch it in the theatres.

Some people may find a movie about gay lovers scandalous or just the idea may be icky for men, but I am very broad-minded with regards to this. I have a relative who’s a lesbian. I’ve also been around a few classmates in High School who were gays and lesbians. They were good and kind-hearted people.

Set in 1963 Wyoming, Brokeback Mountain is not just about gay lovers. It’s more than that. Actually, at the start of the movie, they were not gay, or perhaps one of them was already. This is about a beautiful relationship that developed into love that stood against distance, time and social norms. Some parts of the story reminded me of the Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep starrer The Bridges of Madison County.

I think Heath deserves the Oscar nomination and although Jake didn’t get one, he did an awesome performance. Jake did receive a Screen Guild Actor (SAG) nomination. I am so proud of Michelle Williams who has matured from her cute role in Dawson’s Creek.

Inside the theatre, I was looking around to see what kind of people would be interested in watching this movie. I was surprised to see quite a few elderly ladies. Not a lot of young ones. Could this mean that older people are more open-minded than young people? I thought it was the other way around. But then again, I went on the Sunday matinee, not a popular time slot.

I give Brokeback Mountain two thumbs up.

Five Life Lessons for Ryland

2006-01-07T16:09:00.002-06:00

My youngest son, Ryland, is 7, going on 8. It is an interesting stage in his life, as I have also experienced with my two older ones. He is very inquisitive, very curious. He is also starting to wonder about life, about the future. When he asks questions, I try to answer him as honestly as I could in words that his young mind can understand.

Most of the time, I tuck him in bed. I would lie down in his bed until he falls asleep. But before he does, we would have these little conversations. Sometimes I would ask him what he did or learned at school. Sometimes he would tell me jokes. Sometimes he would ask me questions.

Like this one…

1. Que Sera Sera. What will be will be.

Ryland: Mommy, who am I going to marry?

Mom: (I was surprised) You can marry whomever you want.

Ryland: But I don’t know who.

Mom: You’ll know when you grow up.

Neither of my two older boys have asked me that when they were Ryland’s age, or even now, ever. Ryland is really sweet that way.

Sometimes he would tell me, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” He knows that Reggie is into his jazz music and Ryan is into basketball. But he doesn’t quite know what he wants. I would tell him, “You’ll know when you’re older.” He would then say, “What happens if I don’t.” Then I would assure him, “Oh, you will.”

Or this one…

2. We are mortal.

Ryland: Mommy, when you’re a 100 years old, will you die?

Mom: I don’t know. Maybe not. But maybe yes. Most people don’t reach a 100 years old.

(I didn’t like where this conversation was going. I’ve had this conversation with my father and similar ones with my two older sons.)

Ryland: Are you gonna miss me when you die?

Mom: How will I miss you if I’m already dead?

Ryland: I’m gonna miss you when you die. (Then he cried.)

Mom: Oh, Ryland. I’m not gonna die yet. Not for a very long time.

He learns from the answers that I give him. But there are also times when he learns through his own experience.

3. Sometimes saving the best for last is not a good idea.

Two Decembers ago, I bought a box of chocolates, Pot of Gold. Ryland’s favourite in this box is the one in the middle – the rectangular signature piece. His friend, Blake, came over one night and he offered him the chocolates. What do you know! Blake picked the rectangular piece, which Ryland was saving for later. Ryland cried when Blake was gone. I tried to comfort him and explained to him that sometimes we give our friends our favourites.

Here’s another instance.

Just this New Year’s Eve, my kids were looking forward to lighting their sparklers (lusis). We only had six sticks in the house and I decided to buy some more at the grocery store. But I forgot. So we had to do with the six that we had. Two for each child. One of the sticks was longer than the rest. Ryland got this one in his loot bag when he went to a classmate's birthday party. So he told Ryan that he was saving this for himself.

Midnight came and we started lighting the sparklers. Ryland saved the longer one for last. Nobody noticed that Reggie took it and lighted it for himself. When Ryland’s first sparkler was done, he came looking for his favourite sparkler and only then did we notice that Reggie had lighted it already. Reggie didn’t know. Ryland didn’t cry that time and just lighted his other sparkler. He cried later. And so I told him that maybe it’s not a good idea to save the best for last.

4. Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.

Last week, Ryland was playing with his new Pokemon Emerald Gameboy Advance game, which he bought with his Christmas money. All of a sudden, he just came to me crying. “I’m gonna lose all my money,” he said. In this game, he battles trainers and gym leaders. He gets money when he wins and loses money when he loses a battle. I’m not really much into this Gameboy games and I scrambled for words.

“Well, can you just turn it off and start again?” I asked him.

“No, I’ll still lose my money.”

“Then go to the last place that you saved.”

“No, because it’s hard.”

That was when I realized my mistake in letting him buy this game. It’s still too hard for him. Later on, Ryan helped him play it and recover his money. If it is only like that in real life.

5. Some people are just lucky. Or... We all have jobs and roles.

The other day Ryland said, “Gaudie is lucky. He doesn’t have to wash the dishes.” Gaudie is his 8-year old cousin. “That’s because he has three older siblings who do the dishes,” Ryan blurted out.

I believe in giving children chores – the earlier the better. I have talked about this many times. I am the oldest of two daughters and I remember complaining to my father when I was still a child why I had to do all the chores and my youngest sister didn’t help around. He explained to me that she was still too young to do chores. “When you girls grow up, you can order her around,” my father assured me. Well, I didn’t get to order her around. He he he. Kidding aside, my sister and I had our fair share of the chores when we got older. This is the reason I wanted to give my children chores as early as possible, according to what they can handle.

Ryland is usually an eager helper. But sometimes he and his brothers are not too enthusiastic about doing their chores. But that’s the reason they are called so, right? A chore is a task.

The picture on the right is my famous chores list that is posted on our fridge door. (Click on it for a full view.) Anybody who has been to our house has seen this and either approves of it or is impressed by it. I made this list so the kids can just look here to find out whose turn it is to wash the dishes, cook rice, etc. This way I don’t have to remind them all the time. They can’t cheat either. I noticed that they take their chores more seriously if it is posted there in print.

Ryland understands that he has “jobs” at home, just as he has “jobs” at school where he and his classmates take turns in being the blackboard monitor, milk monitor, etc.

Gaudie, actually, is the fifth child in a family of seven children. And I explained to Ryland that Gaudie will eventually wash the dishes when he is older.

Of sinners and saints

2006-01-04T22:34:00.000-06:00

The first time I’ve seen the miniseries, Lives of the Saints, was last year when CTV aired it after New Year’s Day. CTV aired it again this past Boxing Day. I liked it the first time and I watched it again the second time. I even told Mama to watch it and she asked me to tape it for her, which I did. My sister overheard us and got excited when she heard the title. “No, Lina, it’s not about the life of any saints. It’s just a title.”

“Santa Margarita is the saint of impossible causes. Men pray to her when they want to be forgiven. Women pray to her when they are going to have a baby,” so narrated Teresa Innocente (Sophia Loren) at the beginning of the movie.

“Lives of the Saints is a complex personal story about an Italian-Canadian family with a dark secret that involves adultery, an unwanted child and a father’s shame, which clouds the lives of everyone around him.

This “culture of shame and guilt,” Ciccoritti (director) says, is something he found familiar.

“The Italian culture is very carnal,” he says. “It’s hot. It’s sweaty. You’re aware of your body all the time. It’s also steeped in the paganism of ancient Rome. Add Catholicism to that, with its body shame, and the fact that they use the body to celebrate and manifest every sin and joy the human body can go through, and you’ve got one big mess of a culture.””

Source : http://www.zap2it.com/

Vito, the central character, was raised by his free-spirited mother, Cristina, and disciplinarian school teacher aunt, Teresa, in Italy. His father, Mario, had migrated to and owned a farm in Toronto, Canada. Cristina got pregnant by a white soldier with blue eyes. To escape the ridicule of neighbours, mother and son left. Cristina told her sister-in-law, Teresa, that they were going to Mario in Canada. But Teresa found out that Cristina was going to her soldier instead. Teresa cursed Cristina. While Cristina and little Vito was aboard the ship, she gave birth to a baby girl. Cristina died the next morning. Vito named the baby, Rita, after the saint in the book.

Back in Italy, when neighbours learned that Cristina was having a bastard baby, kids started teasing and bullying Vito. Out of concern for Vito, Teresa made him stay after school and read a story of one saint in the book, The Lives of the Saints. One story every afternoon, until the bullies were gone. When Vito left for Canada, Teresa gave him this book.

When Cristina died on the ship, the authorities contacted Mario to take the children with him. Mario had a hard time raising the (bastard) girl. Later, Teresa joined them in Canada to help raise the children. Mario had been angry at Rita all this time. She reminded him of Cristina’s infidelity. Rita grew up to be wayward and was later adopted by another family. Vito had a hard time accepting this because he had been the caregiver to his little sister. Vito was angry at his father for driving Rita away.

Warning: Spoiler ahead

When Rita was about 18 years old, Mario went to see her. He wanted to kill her, but instead, he killed himself infront of her. Vito, who had estranged himself from his father, came back home and was reunited with Rita, who had grown to be a beautiful, sensuous, free-spirited woman like her mother. And since then, Vito became obsessed with her and he re-assumed the role of her caregiver.

Meanwhile, Teresa told Rita who her real father was. Rita went to see him. Michael Bok, her real father, had a family of his own and Rita thought that he didn’t want anything to do with her. She was so messed up on the night that she met him. She came home and Vito tried to comfort her. They ended up sleeping together. Vito felt so guilty afterwards.

Rita later on made up with his father. Michael told his family about Rita and they forgave him. Rita went with Michael, who was an artist, on his tour and they went to Italy. Vito got jealous and followed them. Vito planned on killing Michael. He still saw himself as Rita’s caregiver and he thought that Michael would only break Rita’s heart. Teresa followed them there too. And she explained to Vito that she was raped by soldiers during the war and that she was Vito’s real mother, not Cristina. Her brother, Mario, took pity on her and to save her from disgrace, he and Cristina took Vito and raised him as their own son.

Now we realize that Vito and Rita were not blood relatives. But we didn’t know that when we watched them sleep together. We were thinking about incest, which was not the case.

In the end, Vito married his girlfriend, Kate and they had a son, whom they named Mario, after the father who was actually his uncle.

I noticed that Italian culture is quite similar to Filipino culture. Both cultures are prominently Catholics and yet we hear stories of betrayal, adultery, suicide, etc. I think the Filipino culture is also that of shame and guilt. I could relate to this as I have written in a previous post, “A Special Surprise.” Lives of the Saints could very well be about a Filipino family. We also hear stories where Filipino families curse each other and I think there have also been Filipino movies that have the same theme, in one way or another, as this one.

What I like about the story is that it has a universal theme. It could happen to any culture, not just that which has strong religious beliefs. The story was told in flashbacks. But in a way that makes you think rather than confuse you. I also like that in the end Vito was able to find it in his heart to forgive Mario and Teresa and that he was able to find a brotherly relationship with Rita again.

Lives of the Saints received strong reviews and high ratings.

New Year's Eve Traditions

2006-01-01T20:33:00.000-06:00

From the top clockwise: Cantaloupe (milon), red grapefruit, mango, kiwi, nectarine, tomato (yes, it’s a fruit), fuzzy pear, lemon, navel orange, avocado, Asian pear, delicious apple, grapes.

I was at the Fruit and Vegetable Section of Superstore with my son Ryan on the morning of New Year’s Eve when I saw my friend Marissa.

“Happy New Year!” She greeted me.

“Happy New Year, too.” I said. “Are you also collecting 13 fruits for New Year’s Eve?”

“Not 13, only 12. Twelve months, right?”

“No, 13. Lucky 13.”

Well, there goes a variation of this Filipino tradition of gathering fruits that are round on New Year’s Eve. This is believed to bring good luck. The round shape represents money. Another tradition is wearing polka dots.

Marissa was with her 16-year old son. She told me that he thought that this tradition was dumb. Ouch! But considering the high price of these fruits at this time of the year, the kid does have a point.

My kids have never told me that any of the Filipino traditions that I observe are dumb. Do they also think so? Are they just being nice to me by not saying anything? But they are following along with me. Like for instance, we always light sparklers (lusis) on New Year’s Eve. And they enjoy it. We light lusis instead of firecrackers (paputok) as people do in the Philippines. Filipinos believe that one should greet the New Year with a bang. Due to safety reasons, some people choose to make noises by banging pots and pans and blowing horns.

When I was still a little girl, our elders encouraged children to jump at the stroke of midnight so that they would grow tall. (Unfortunately, it didn't work for me.) My children jumped when we greeted 2000, but that was it. Another tradition is gathering for the Media Noche (midnight meal). We do this every year. So my kids were up until midnight while we watched on TV the countdown on Times Square, NY. I always cook sotanghon (bean thread) soup, which my kids enjoy as well.

Now that I am an adult, I know that there is no logic behind these traditions. But we grew up with these customs and beliefs. And I guess we hold on to them to cherish our childhood and our roots.

"A Special Surprise" - A Labour of Love

2005-12-28T20:59:00.001-06:00

Earlier this year, I wrote The Birth of Our Baby when Ryland celebrated his seventh birthday. This prompted me to also write about Ryan’s birth, Our Small Miracle, when he turned 11 this past June. So I vowed to myself that I would write about Reggie’s as well when he celebrated his birthday in November.

You’d think that I would have enough time to do that. But alas, no. I’d like to say that it was the procrastinator in me who waited until November to even sit down and start writing this story. Well, that played a part. But to tell you the truth, this story had been one of the hardest for me to write. Not just because it happened 16 years ago and I had to dig deep in my thoughts to recall the details. But then again, I’ve written stories that are older than this.

1989, the year I got pregnant with my first-born, had been one of the most emotional episodes of my life. You’ll understand once you read A Special Surprise. It’s about the trials I faced and the decisions I had to make when I learned that I was pregnant with Reggie, who turned 16 in November.

I didn’t want to end the year without completing the stories of the births of my three children, the loves of my life. So thanks to my four-day Christmas vacation, I was able to finish the story of Reggie’s birth.

Just as Reggie had been a fruit of love, this story has been a labour of love. As I wrote this story, I was transported back in time - emotionally - that I found myself in tears when I read my finished work. But then again, I always get emotional at this time of the year.

And now, I present to you...

A Special Surprise

Unexpected

“I hope you won’t change the way you treat me as a friend and view me as a person once you hear what I am about to say,” I told my friend Jocelyn as we head back to the office after our coffee break one afternoon in June, 1989.

She turned to me and asked with eagerness, “What is it, Irene?”

“I’m pregnant,” I said.

I watched her eyes widen with excitement.

“You’re the first one to know,” I added.

She was the only one at my work place whom I trusted.

I was 24 and single. Mama came home during the Christmas holidays. We had such a good time. Mama had been in Canada since I was 15 and she would come home for a three-week visit once every two years. Mama stayed with me at the house I was renting in Pasig. My sister and her family came over several times during Mama’s vacation. That January we threw a birthday party for my niece, who turned one.

Read more here.

Dear Saint Nick

2005-12-23T20:16:00.000-06:00

"Mommy, is Santa real?"

"Remember what I told you last time?"

"Yeah. Santa is the symbol of Christmas."

"Santa represents the spirit of Christmas, which is?"

"Giving."

"Yup. And giving not only presents but also kindness and goodness."

Merry Christmas to All!

What is solstice?

2005-12-21T22:30:00.000-06:00

This announcement has been popping up on the weather channel these past few days.

Winter Solstice. Winter officially starts on Wednesday, December 21st at 12:35 PM CST.

Ryan asked me this morning, “Mommy, what is solstice?”

“We have the shortest day of the year on winter solstice. On the other hand, we have the longest day on the summer solstice.”

Another screen popped out on the TV.

Sunrise: 8:35 AM. Sunset: 4:30 PM

“See,” I explained further. “We’ll have only about eight hours of daylight today.”

But the good news is that the days will gradually get longer after today.

According to dictionary.com, solstice means:

1. Either of two times of the year when the sun is at its greatest distance from the celestial equator. The summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere occurs about June 21, when the sun is in the zenith at the tropic of Cancer; the winter solstice occurs about December 21, when the sun is over the tropic of Capricorn. The summer solstice is the longest day of the year and the winter solstice is the shortest.

2. A highest point or culmination.

Family, Friends, and Co-Workers Celebrate Rowena's Retirement

2005-12-19T20:53:00.001-06:00

On Sunday, November 19, 2005, Rowena del Mundo invited family, friends and co-workers to her Retirement Party at the Sinclair Park Community Club. The place was elegantly decorated by Party Planner, Kelly, who happens to be Rowena’s step-daughter.

The tables were covered with white cloth and adorned with red napkins and red roses. Bottles of white wine were placed and white candles were lit on every table.

The host and celebrant was dressed in a red satin gown with black embroidery. A sheer black shawl draped her shoulders. She looked radiant and beautiful that night.

Read more here.

A Communal Celebration of Reconciliation

2005-12-17T22:39:00.000-06:00

... forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us ....

Last week, we celebrated Ryland’s First Reconciliation. Parents, children and families were gathered in the church. First we sang a gathering song to remind us of what we were celebrating. Then Father welcomed us and said a few words. One of the things he said that struck me was that Reconciliation has become a lost Sacrament. He also emphasized the positive role of this sacrament in reconciling personal conflict and healing our relationships. And that’s when I understood why there was a separate celebration for Reconciliation and it wasn’t celebrated together with the First Communion, which Ryland will receive in the Spring.

Father read the Parable of the Lost Sheep according to Luke 15: 1-7. Ryland and the other children have learned this story while preparing for this Sacrament.

Father explained that we were celebrating a communal Reconciliation. He said, “You do not have to say, ‘Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been forever since I had my last confession.’ We know that. We won’t give you individual penance. Instead we will sing and pray as a group.”

We recited the Act of Contrition. The children have learned this by heart.

“O God, rich in mercy, I am sorry for all my sins; for what I have done and what I have failed to do. I will sincerely try to do better. Help me to walk by your light. Amen.”

After the Act of Contrition, Father and another priest stood by the altar. We came forward row by row as we do for communion. Parents brought their children to the priest, holding the child’s sheep. (The children made sheep out of cardboard, cotton balls and clothespins.) Parents waited a short distance away. Father leaned over to each child and asked, “What do you want to say ‘I’m sorry’ for to God?” The child then whispered one or two sins into Father’s ear. Father then gave his absolution and the child said, “Thank you, Father.”

The children returned to their parents and are handed their sheep to place on the banner by the altar. Then they went back to their places and took a few moments to thank God for the gift of forgiveness. Parents were also given the chance to have their confession. Hymns were sung while we had our turns.

The children went to the back of the church to get their candles. The catechist helped them light the candles and they brought them in procession to the altar to show that they walk in the light.

We then prayed the Lord’s Prayer.

At the end of the celebration, Father gave us his blessing and said, “Go in peace, your sins have been forgiven.”

And we all said, “Thanks be to God.”

We then continued the celebration of our joy in forgiveness with a feast at the school hall where parents dropped off their dainties (cup cakes, cookies, veggies and dip, cheese and crackers) which was shared by all. Father also joined us and chatted with the parents.

I think this Reconciliation had been a pleasant experience for the children and parents as well.

Related posts: The Lost Sacrament and The Lost Sheep and An Interesting Discussion of The Prodigal Son.

An Interesting Discussion of "The Prodigal Son"

2005-12-15T21:04:00.000-06:00

In one of the parents’ meeting for the Preparation for Reconciliation (see my previous entry The Lost Sacrament and the Lost Sheep), The Parable of the Prodigal Son was read and discussed.

Here is the Parable of the Prodigal Son according to Luke 15: 11-32.

The Parable of the Lost Son

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

The Discussion

The younger son asked for his share of the property. His father was still alive. Usually inheritance is divided among children after one’s death. Just imagine what the father felt when his son asked for his share. Yet he still gave it to him without denouncing him.

The younger son went to a distant country and squandered all his money. He became broke and settled for a job feeding the pigs, the lowest occupation during that time. He was so hungry that he would eat the pods that were fed the pigs, but no one gave him anything. This was the lowest point in his life. He hit rock bottom.

After all this suffering, he came to his senses. This is what we call Repentance. He felt sorry for his sins and he decided to reconcile with his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him.” This could only mean that his father had all this time hoping and waiting for him to come to his senses and come back home. I think that this is something any parent can relate to.

“He ran to his son, threw his arms around his son and kissed him.” The father couldn’t wait for the son to step at the front door. Instead he ran on the road. Remember the son was “still a long way off when his father saw him.” That’s how happy and excited the father was to see his son come back.

Before the son set out for home, he was ready to work as a slave for his father because that was what he thought he deserved. And yet when the son told his father that he was no longer fit to be called his son, he called the servants and asked them to bring his son the best robe (for he was wearing rags), put a ring on his finger (the ring being a symbol of royalty or authority), and sandals on his feet (for only slaves walked bare-footed). The father had a fattened calf killed and they celebrated with a feast. Because as he said, “he was lost and is found.”

Meanwhile the older son was working in the field when he heard the music and dancing in the house and he asked the servants what was going on. He got angry when he learned that his father was celebrating the return of his son, “this son of yours,” he said, who had squandered his father’s money on prostitutes, while he stayed, worked for him like a slave and never disobeyed his orders. His father had never given him even a young goat so he could feast with his friends. Then he refused to go inside the house. He was now disobeying his father. He sinned against the fourth commandment – You shall honour your father and your mother.

But the father explained, “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

This last part got quite a few reactions from some of the parents at the meeting. Apparently they had experienced this with their siblings and parents. There was this Mom who has four siblings and one sibling was sort of the black sheep in the family. A brother who took his parents' money, moved away and didn’t contact the family for a long time. But when he came back, his parents welcomed him with open arms. And this brother became the center of attention. Which caused the other siblings to be jealous of the brother. Now they have a grudge against this brother and they have committed one of the seven deadly sins – envy or jealousy. But what can we do if we are thrown in a situation like this? We are humans and we can’t help it if we feel that way. And now that I am a parent myself, I can understand where their parents were coming from. We will accept our children no matter what. This is what parents do. I can imagine the worry their parents had when the brother was away, not knowing how he was and I would just be happy that he came back home healthy and safe.

Conclusion

Of course we know that the father in the parable is Our Father in Heaven who is always ready to accept a repentant sinner. This parable just shows us how great and infinite His Love is for all of us.

Next: A Communal Celebration of Reconciliation

The Lost Sacrament and The Lost Sheep

2005-12-13T20:52:00.000-06:00

I was busy this past couple of months preparing my second grader for his First Reconciliation (Confession). I was a little bit surprised when I first learned that I would be the one teaching him about this Sacrament. My children attend public schools where Religion courses are not taught. So they attend their catechism classes every Saturday in our parish church. But you see, my two older sons learned about Confession through their catechism classes. So it was a different experience for Ryland.

To prepare the parents for this task, we were invited to attend three meetings. It was really sort of a refresher course on what Reconciliation is all about. And also to guide parents on how to explain this Sacrament in such a way that our 7- or 8-year olds could understand.

On the first meeting, we were asked to remember about our experiences in Confession. I was one of the parents who couldn’t remember the first time I went to the Confession. Talk about selective memory, eh? Yeah, I do have a lot of baggage that is repressed deep inside me. Well, what I remember is that I had it the day before my First Communion. Because back then, and this was also what my two older sons experienced, Confession and Communion go side by side. And back then, we also went to the Confessional box. I guess for me, it was less intimidating knowing that the priest couldn’t see my face when I told him my sins.

There was this Dad at the meeting who remembered going to Confession as a kid as a terrifying experience. He went to a Catholic school and every other Friday or so, he would line up in a hallway with the rest of the students waiting for his turn to go in the Box, while contemplating about his sins and worrying if Father would remember that his sins were the same ones he confessed the last time.

We don’t use the Box now. I remember my first time to go to Confession when I first came here in Winnipeg. I was surprised that I didn’t have to go to a Confessional box. I was kind of embarrassed to tell Father my sins, face to face. We sat next to each other in one of the pews. I was, at a certain point and up until that time, what people say “living in sin.” I felt so vulnerable. I cried my eyes out. It was a very intimidating experience. But I felt so relieved and so clean after that.

Which brings me to what a Mom shared at that meeting. She said that her husband tells their children, “going to Confession is like taking a bath. What would you feel if you don’t take a bath for a month? You would be stinky. If you don’t go to Confession, your soul will be stinky.” I must be one of those stinky souls because I don’t go that often. But I always pray to God every night and ask for his forgiveness. Could I be really stinky?

I didn’t mind teaching Ryland about Confession. The parents were given a Family Guide, which included stories and pictures, to help tackle this task. For half an hour, three to four nights a week, Ryland and I sat down by ourselves and learned (for me, I re-learned) about the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And I even noticed that Ryland appreciated the conversations and special time that we spent together. I also noticed, that my middle son, Ryan, hang around a couple of times, probably wanting to have a special one-on-one time with me as well. And we will. He’s having his Confirmation later this school year so we will have this special time together when we prepare for that. I try to have one-on-one time with each of my three children whenever I find the time. But I guess I can never give them as much as they’d like.

These past weeks, Ryland has learned how to follow the paths of God. He has learned how to forgive and how to be a peacemaker. He also learned the story of The Lost Sheep - Luke 15: 1-7.

This is the version that we read together.

Once a shepherd had 100 sheep. He loved them very much and took good care of them. One evening, as he brought them back to the stable, he counted his sheep as usual: 97-98-99… But where was the hundredth?

The worried shepherd left his other sheep and set out to find his lost sheep.

At last he found her at the bottom of a ravine, entangled in thorns.

Did the shepherd complain to her? No, just the opposite. He was so happy that he put her on his shoulders and sang on his way home.

As he passed through the village, he gathered his friends together and invited them to celebrate with him.

In the same way, Jesus said:

“There is great joy in heaven when a single sinner comes back to God.”

Next: An Interesting Discussion of "The Prodigal Son" and A Communal Celebration of Reconciliation

My Five Favourite Childhood Foods

2005-12-11T18:14:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged by Ange to list five foods that I loved during childhood, but no longer eat or able to find them. I also included links to pictures I’ve found on the internet for visual reference.

1. Champorado (Chocolate Rice) – Sticky rice boiled in a mixture of water, cocoa and sugar. It has a soupy consistency and is usually served with swirls of condensed milk. Perfect for those cool rainy days.

2. Atis (Sweetsop or Sugar Apple) – This is a round fruit with very scaly skin. This fruit has lots of seeds about the same size as the tamarind seeds. If my memory serves me right, I think each scale corresponds to one seed. Each seed is enveloped with white sweet flesh. It may take you a while to finish one fruit but it’s all worth it. I haven’t seen any here in Winnipeg. This is one of my must haves if and when I go back home to the Philippines for a visit.

3. Duhat (Java Plum) – (You have to scroll to the middle of the linked page for a picture of the duhat .) About the same size and shape as grapes. It has a thin blackish purple skin, white flesh and a large seed. Taste is somewhere between sour and sweet. I would put a bunch of duhat in a bowl, sprinkle with sea salt, cover the bowl and shake the contents. This fruit leaves an aftertaste in your mouth and also purple stains on your tongue, as well as on your clothes. So don’t wear your best clothes if you plan to eat this fruit.

4. Sugar cane – We would peel these stalks, sometimes with our teeth. We’d chew the fiber extracting the juice. Then we would spit out the fiber once we have taken out all the juice. Kind of like eating gum, which we chew and spit out once the flavour is all gone.

5. Manggang Piko (A variety of mango) – The only kind of mango that we get here in Winnipeg is the kind that we call "Indian mango" in the Philippines. This "Indian mango" has greenish or sometimes yellow flesh and is usually sweet. What I miss is the manggang piko. It is smaller than the "Indian mango" and is more elongated. Manggang piko is very sour. I would prepare patis (fish sauce) in a small plate and sprinkle it with sea salt. I’d dip my sliced manggang piko in this sauce. Umm, nangasim tuloy ako.

I’m supposed to tag 3 people. But instead, I’m keeping this as an open invitation to anybody who’s interested in sharing their 5 favourite childhood foods. Just let me know. I'd like to read yours ,too. Enjoy!

Celebrating Christmas at the Christmas Capital of Canada

2005-12-09T20:40:00.000-06:00

Usually after Halloween, Christmas decorations start to appear in the stores, carols fill the air, advertisements of toys, jewelry, and electronic gadgets pop up on TV. Snow falls and then it will really start to look a lot like Christmas. Known as the Christmas Capital of Canada, Winnipeg kicks off the holiday season on the third Saturday of November with The Santa Claus Parade. Houses are brightly lit with Christmas lights throughout the season. At home, my kids help me put up and decorate the Tree.

Continue reading how I and other Filipinos celebrate Christmas in different parts of the world in Ang Aming Pasko (Our Christmas) at pinoyatbp.

How much does it cost to see a movie?

2005-12-06T20:52:00.000-06:00

We paid only Cdn$4.25 a ticket at Garden City Cinema here in Winnipeg when we watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire this past weekend. I don’t know if it’s because we caught the matinee. The last time my three kids and I went to the movies, we paid Cdn$8.50 each. Well, I’m not complaining.

This is how much we spent: ($ = Cdn$)

Tickets $4.25 x 4 = $ 17.00 (taxes included)

Large popcorn $5.79 x 2 = $11.58
Extra butter $0.25 x 2 = $0.50
Small Kool-aid $3.29 x 3 = $9.87
7% GST (goods & services tax) = $1.54
7% PST (provincial sales tax) = $1.54

Total = $42.03

We couldn't forego the overpriced popcorn and drinks. My kids don't see the point of going to the movies without these. If you will notice, we shared the popcorn and I didn't buy drinks for myself.

We saved $17.00 this time, ticket was half price. Otherwise, we would have spent $59.03. Quite pricey, eh? This is the reason we go to the movies only once or twice a year. We usually just wait for the movies to come out on DVD.

What about in your city, how much does it cost to go to the movies?

Trials and dilemmas

2005-12-04T22:44:00.001-06:00

“It was boring,” my seven-year old said.

“I like Harry Potter 3 better,” my 11-year old said.

“What about you, Reggie, did you like the movie?” I asked my 16-year old.

He nodded.

I personally enjoyed it. Although, I’ll admit that I didn’t have that same feeling of satisfaction when I first saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

I read three movie reviews of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before I actually found the time to watch it this weekend. The film stayed close to the book, although there were a few parts that didn’t make it to the movie. I didn’t mind it though because the film captured the essence of the story. Sometimes filmmakers have to sacrifice some parts of a novel for brevity. Otherwise, we’d be sitting at a four-hour long film.

Boy, these young actors have grown! Daniel Radcliffe has become more handsome. Emma Watson is very pretty. Rupert Grint is not that bad, either. And it was very interesting to see some characters come to life for the first time. Cho Chang’s beauty is very simple and charming. Mad Eye Moody is magical. And Ralph Fiennes, although we can’t recognize him, gave a fine performance as Lord Voldemort.

The special effects is outstanding. It’s amazing to see the three trials happen on the big screen. The scene at the graveyard is not that too harsh for the kids. I got emotional towards the end of that scene. I don’t know if it’s just me. But I got misty eyed when I watched Harry broke down when he brought Cedric back from the graveyard. It could also be the acting. These youngsters have matured not only physically, but professionally as well.

In my opinion, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire has the best storyline of the series so far. In this book Harry was faced with different trials in the Triwizard Tournament, which could signify the trials we face in life. He was faced with dilemmas in the last two trials but he rose to the occasions and he showed his “moral fibre.” We also witness the characters grow up as they experience the pangs of adolescence. To Harry, stealing an egg from a dragon was an achievable task, but asking Cho to the dance was excruciatingly painful. I can relate. I could easily solve a trigonometric equation in high school but I was clueless at how to make a boy notice me.

I guess this is the reason that the Harry Potter series is a success. The theme is universal. Teenagers can relate to the characters, and parents as well because they have been through that phase. At the same time, I think this is also the reason why my two younger kids didn’t enjoy The Goblet of Fire as much as Reggie and I did. This installment is geared towards a more mature audience

Note: I have noticed recently that the movie rating is more lenient here in Canada. In the U.S. this movie is rated PG 13, here in Canada it is PG. I also noticed that there are movies Rated R in the U.S. that are rated only 14A or 18A here. Or it probably varies in the different provinces and territories.

The sneeze

2005-12-01T20:54:00.000-06:00

The Sneeze
by Sheree Fitch

I winked and I blinked
And my nose got itchy
And my eyes all watered
And my mouth went twitchy
I went AHHHH
I went AHHHH
I went AHHHH CHOOOOOO
And I blew
And I sneezed
Then I coughed
And I wheezed
And my brother said, "Oh, brother!"
And my mother said,
'GAZOONTIGHT!"
My father said, "Bless you!"
And I said, Ah . . . ah . . . ah . . .
AHHHHHHHHH CHOOOOOOO!

Whenever one of my children sneezes, I say "Bless you." Once, Ryan sneezed three times in a row and I said "Bless you" three times in a row. When I sneeze, Ryland will say, "Bless you, Mommy." And I will say, "Oh thank you, Ryland."

This weekend, I was shopping with Ryland and this lady sneezed and I said, "Bless you." She said, "Thank you."

What about you? Do you say "Bless you" when somebody sneezes, even if you don't know them?

The picture above is one of the many Christmas lights that adorn Winnipeg streets. I think it depicts Father Winter blowing snow. This one is located in front of the City Hall.

He is an explorer of music and ...

2005-11-27T20:25:00.001-06:00

My oldest son, Reggie, plays the flute and he is into jazz music. I was impressed when I heard him tell his flute instructor last year that he wanted to be a jazz flutist. I have shared my sentiments about his passion. When I first realized that he wanted to pursue a career in music, in the Performing Arts, I worried about any rejection he might experience, or the instability of his chosen career. But of course I realized as well that rejection is a part of life, and one chooses a career based on one's calling, passion, or dreams.

There isn't a day that goes by that Reggie doesn't caress that thin silver instrument. Playing the flute has become his routine. I've heard him improve as the years go by. He's become a very good flutist. And I'm not saying this just because I am his mother. His teachers have told me so as well. People have also come up to him and praised him for his excellent performances. I now totally support his passion. After all, who am I to hinder his dreams, right? I am his parent and it is my job to encourage him to pursue his dreams.

So when I learned that my friend Rowena was throwing a retirement party, I saw an opportunity for Reggie to expose his talent to a different kind of audience. Except for the Cool Jazz Festival this past June, he usually just plays for school concerts. I immediately asked Rowena if he could play. She gladly agreed and he eagerly formed a band. The sextet played jazz tunes (which included The Way You Look Tonight, Autumn Leaves, etc. ) last weekend at Rowena's party. Reggie was so good, and so was the rest of the band. I was so proud of him and I was also happy that my friends finally heard my first-born play.

Reggie wrote this poem two years ago. I have shared in this blog some of his journal entries in Grade 2. As I have promised before, his writing has become a lot better and deeper.

I am an explorer of music and a dedicated friend ©
by Reggie, Grade 9, 2003

I am an explorer of music and a dedicated friend.
I wonder what the future has in store.
I hear the applause of the audience after one of my symphonic successes.
I see my friends and family applauding as well.
I want to become a better musician, exploring every corner and chord of the vast art.
I am an explorer of music and a dedicated friend.

I imagine I'm in the bustling city of Tokyo, jamming with Nobuo.
I feel I'm right where I belong right now, even though I could be someplace better.
I touch people's lives with the ideas that come flowing through my flute.
I worry my positive outlook in life will change.
I cry when someone close fades away to the gates of heaven.
I am an explorer of music and a dedicated friend.

I understand we must support each other to get through life.
I say every moment in life should be spent with happiness.
I dream of my friends and I impressing a sea of spectators with our musical talent.
I try to use what I've learned from the people around me.
I hope for a future as bright as a highly polished flute.
I am an explorer of music and a dedicated friend.

How cold is minus 25 windchill?

2005-11-25T22:25:00.000-06:00

We've had a warmer weather today, minus 18 windchill. But the last couple of days, we've had windchill of minus 25. Brrrr.

That is not condensation on my workstation window. That is actually ice that has formed on the glass panes. My desk is right beside it. When it gets cold in the winter, you'll find me in a cotton sweater, cotton pants with elastic waistband, wool socks and sometimes I cover myself with a blanket. Yup, you can dress as comfortably as want when you work at home.

I try to avoid the icy patches on the sidewalk lest I slip and fall on my butt. But my son, Ryan, can slide gracefully through the ice as if ice-skating and he can glide through without slipping.

The icy roads are very dangerous, though. It can cause many vehicular accidents.

The pile of snow on the sidewalk is as hard as ground.

This block of ice is as hard as a rock.

The case of the mysterious kisser

2005-11-22T22:59:00.001-06:00

“Mommy, is somebody going to kiss me at the party?”

That was my son Ryland asking me this question on Saturday before we went to her Ninang (Godmother) Rowena’s Retirement Dinner and Dance. The last time my kids went with me to a party, one of my girl friends kissed Ryland on the cheek and he didn’t like it.

Ryland couldn’t remember which friend kissed him and so at the party, I asked Elaine, who was sitting across the table, if she was the one who kissed Ryland. No, it wasn’t her.

So, as friends started to arrive, I wondered who this boy-kisser was. My son would not be a victim again.

Ninang Maria, Ryland’s other godmother came, and I invited her to come over to our table so that he could bless Ryland. Blessing or kissing the hand of a godmother is a common tradition among Filipinos.

Maria eagerly got up from her seat. She headed straight for the little guy seated next to me and before I could thwart the “crime,” her lips landed on Ryland’s right cheek.

“Mommy, Ryland has red lipstick on his ear, ha ha ha ha,” Ryan said.

Poor Ryland had that pleading look when he turned to me. I immediately wiped the lipstick off his ear.

By this time, the culprit was already nowhere in sight. She was gone in a flash. I knew that if I just followed the trail – the scent of the food from the buffet table, I would have found her there. But I just decided to pardon her that time. I can’t blame her for wanting to kiss my adorable son.

I'm not the only one

2005-11-20T23:35:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I forgot to send my youngest son to catechism with a picture of him and a friend for Show And Tell. Ryland told me about this homework the previous week but I totally forgot it. Well, it wasn’t written on his catechism notebook. So please forgive this forgetful mother.

This past weekend after catechism, my sister, whose daughter, Amica, is in the same class with Ryland, asked me, “Did you remember to send Ryland with his baptismal pictures and mementos?”

“What pictures?!! No, I did not. Did their catechist send them a note? Because he didn’t get one?”

“Yes, it was attached to the yellow note that reminded them that there were no classes last weekend.”

“Well, there was none attached to Ryland’s.”

There wasn’t. And yet I started to count my (small) failings as a mother.

After ten minutes, my dear sister was on the other line.

“Ate*, it wasn’t Amica’s. It was Gaudie’s (my nephew) homework. When they came home from catechism that week, I gathered all the children’s notes and they got all mixed up. Ha ha ha.”

Gaudie told her mother that he was the only one in class who didn’t have anything for Show and Tell.

And there I thought that I was the only one who’s failing my children.

Please excuse my sister as well for her shortcomings. She has seven children.

*Ate – what Filipinos call an older sister

I can see clearly now

2005-11-18T23:41:00.000-06:00

“So, what colour do you want?” Tamy, the optometric assistant, asked Ryland as we looked at the rack full of children’s glasses.

“Black,” Ryland said confidently.

“Are you sure?” she asked again. “We have all these fun colours, blue, green, red…”

“I want black.”

“Okay.”

I chuckled. I knew why he wanted black. His Kuya Reggie wears glasses with black frames.

Tamy took a couple of glasses from the rack and showed them to Ryland. There was a round one and a rectangular one. Ryland immediately picked the rectangular one to try on first. I had a feeling that it was the one. Reggie wears a black rectangular frame. I have written before how my younger kids tend to copy their older brother/s.

He looked at the mirror. The glasses looked good on him. But I told him to also try the other one. He did and looked at the mirror again. “I don’t like this. I like the other one better,” he said. He wore the rectangular one and smiled when he looked at himself in the mirror once more.

He looked smart with glasses on. And he knew how to pick a good one. It’s very stylish. Just two nights before he cried when I reminded him of his appointment with the optometrist and the possibility that he would be wearing glasses. He said that he would look ugly. I assured him that of course he wouldn’t.

When we were at the bus stop on our way home, he said that he could read the billboard on the bus that was on the other side of the street. I guess before, he wouldn’t even notice those. It reminded me of the first time I had to wear glasses.

It was about five years ago. I was worried that my eyesight was starting to fail me. And I wasn’t that old. I couldn’t even see my child clearly when we were standing just a few feet apart in our hallway upstairs. I blamed the pink eye (sore eyes as we call it in the Philippines) that I just had. But after a trip to the ophthalmologist’s office, I learned that I only needed to wear eyeglasses.

The first time I wore my glasses, I felt sort of in a whirl. Everything just became a lot clearer. Every colour became vivid. I didn’t realize until then that if I didn’t have my glasses on, everything from about ten feet and beyond was just a sea of fuzziness.

The day I got my glasses, I found myself singing ...

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

If Ryland knew that song, I guess he would be singing it, too.

Body rhythm and snowstorms

2005-11-15T22:44:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed how your body rhythm gets out of whack after a long weekend? We tend to sleep in on that day when we don’t have to go to school or work. And I guess that sends confusing messages to our body. So when we have to get up on our usual time on the next business day, we don’t hear the alarm clock when it goes off. Or we just keep hitting the snooze button until it stops and we fall asleep again.

That’s what happened to me this morning. Well, actually, I forgot what time I was supposed to get up, lingered in bed and fell back to sleep. And did you know that that alarm will go off for about half an hour as long as you keep hitting that button?

For some reason, my kids got a four-day vacation this Remembrance Day weekend. And they didn’t have them on the same days. The two younger ones went back to school yesterday, while my 11th grader, Reggie, didn’t have to go back until today. And I made him miss his first class because my body rhythm was out of whack.

Well, at least he wasn't the only one late for school today. We had the first snowstorm of the season. Poor Reggie had to go out there before we had the chance to shovel the snow. I watched his legs sink deep in two feet of snow in our front yard. Mine did too when I tried to shovel a pathway for my courier guy and cleared our front steps. That snow was quite heavy and sticky.

I learned that buses were stuck and delayed for up to 60 minutes. There are people who weren’t able to go to work or school because they couldn’t get their cars out of their driveways. Garbage pick-ups were cancelled. Even snowplows were stuck in the highways. And if I heard it right, millions of dollars were spent just for today’s clean-up of the snow.(?) What a hassle!

But there’s something about the sight of snow that makes us all excited. I know my two young ones were eager to wear their new boots this morning. Ryland got to play in the snow at recess and Ryan helped make a quinzee* in the school grounds. It also reminds us that Christmas is just around the corner. Soon, I’ll be busy with the Christmas shopping. But for the meantime, I’ll busy myself in putting in more hours of work to get that extra money.

All I can say about all these is that I really feel blessed that I was given the chance to work at home. I didn’t have to go out there in the cold waiting for a bus that had been delayed. I didn’t have to be late for work, or miss a day of work. I can even work long hours in the comforts of my own home. And I am right here when my children comes home from school ready to make them hot chocolate and soup on a cold winter day like today.

* A quinzee is a combination of an igloo and snow cave.

That's sad

2005-11-13T20:27:00.000-06:00

November 1 is All Soul’s Day in the Philippines. This past November 1, I told my kids that it was a holiday there and that people usually flock to the cemeteries to visit the graves of their loved ones who had departed this world.

Ryan asked me, “Then why aren’t you there? Your dad is dead.”

I told him jokingly, “You really want me to go there today and then come back tomorrow?”

He knew that I couldn’t do that, considering that we are oceans away from the Philippines and I would have to purchase a plane ticket for that trip.

I looked at Ryan and reminded him, “My father died on June 20. Three years to the day before you were born.”

“I know that, Mommy,” he said.

Then Ryland said, “Mommy, your dad is dead. That’s sad.” Then he hugged me.

I hugged him back and said, “I know, but it’s okay.”

Once in a while, Ryland would realize that my father is already gone and then he would do what he just did. He’d hug me and say, “That’s sad.” And I would say, “I know, but it’s okay.”

Two days earlier we were talking about how I saw his friend Dragan and his Mom and Dad and brother Victor at the grocery store. They said hi to me and the two kids waved goodbye when they saw me again before they left the store. I told Ryland that I like his friend and his family. They seem to be really nice people.

I told my kids about my cousin Victor. He was a sailor and he went missing in the Bermuda Triangle while aboard a ship in the 1970s. We never found out what happened to him. Ryan said that he could be alive somewhere and raising a family of his own. That’s also what a fortune-teller told his mother (my aunt) many years ago. But it's most likely that he had died and had been buried down there under the sea. When I finished telling this story, Ryland said, “That’s sad.” And I said, “I know, but it’s okay. It happened a long time ago.”

Ryland is very sweet and compassionate. And it’s really sad that we lost these two loved ones too soon. Telling stories about them, especially to my kids, who never knew them, is my way of honouring and remembering them.

Family Shows, Family Time

2005-11-08T22:42:00.000-06:00

I still remember the old television set we had when I was growing up in Noveleta, Cavite in the 1970’s. It was boxed in a wooden cabinet with sliding doors, an antenna on top and wooden legs. It had four dials. One to turn it on and to adjust the volume as well. Another one to change the channels ranging from 2 to 13. Also one for horizontal adjustment and another for vertical adjustment.

At night, my family (and once in a while neighbours, too) would gather around the TV and watch whatever show was on. One show that sticks in my mind is "John en Marsha," the family sitcom that starred Dolphy and Nida Blanca in the title roles and also the hilarious Dely Atay-Atayan as the rich mother-in-law whose line "Kaya ikaw John magsumikap ka" always ended the weekly show. Dolphy’s son Rolly Quizon and the young Maricel Soriano portrayed their children Rolly and Shirley.

Read the rest of this entry at Pinoyatbp.

Why does the cold weather make us pee?

2005-11-06T23:22:00.000-06:00

After we got out of the Raptors game that we watched two weeks ago, I went to the washroom. I asked my two boys if they wanted to go before we head to the bus stop. They both said, “No.” I asked them, “Are you sure?” You see, they both had each a bottle of soda and I just had a sip and I needed to go. “No, I don’t have to,” said Ryan grumpily. He doesn’t like it when I ask him questions twice.

So we headed to the front doors of the MTS Centre where we usually wait for the bus. We got there at 9:30 p.m. Our bus wasn’t supposed to come until 10:08 p.m. (Or so I thought.) It was quite cold outside and instead of waiting at the bus stop, which was just right in front of the MTS Centre, we stayed by the front doors since we could see the buses through the glass doors.

At around 10:00 p.m., we got ready and stood by the doors. Then I noticed that Ryan was pacing in front of me. I knew he had to pee. I asked him once again if he wanted to go to the washroom. He looked at the gates of the arena and saw that they were closed. (I used the washroom inside the arena.) He said he needed to go just a little bit but he could still hold it. I told him that we could go inside Moxie’s Restaurant, which was inside the MTS Centre and he could use the washroom there. “It’s okay,” he said. “Are you sure you can hold it for 30 minutes more? That’s how long we’re gonna be in the bus,” I told him. That’s when he realized that of course he couldn’t hold it that long. So we hurriedly went inside Moxie’s thinking that we only had a couple of minutes until the bus came.

Why did Ryan waited too long to go in the washroom? I waited impatiently for him to get out of there. I thought that we might miss the bus. I hoped that the bus would be late so that we could catch it. It turned out that our bus was to come at 10:18 and not 10:08. When I looked at the schedule and read 00:08, I thought that was 10:08. Silly me. I should have been looking at the one that read 20:18. We were able to get on the 10:18 bus and we were home by 10:45 p.m.

The next morning at breakfast, I reiterated to Ryan that whenever I ask him if he has to go in the washroom, like the night before, that he better go, especially now that we have cold weather. I explained to him further that before I leave the house, I go in the washroom. I also tell my boys to go pee. When Ryland comes home from school, I tell him to go pee before he goes outside to play with his cousins, lest he wets his pants. Likewise, if we are out shopping or we are at someplace else, I use the bathroom before leaving that place. I always ask the boys if they have to go, too. It’s usually Ryan who says, “I don’t have to,” and he gets mad when I ask him twice. I can still make Ryland go tinkle even just a wee bit since I can still bring him with me to the ladies room. (He’s only seven.)

“Why does the cold weather make us pee?” Ryan asked me. I thought I knew the answer to that question but I couldn’t come up with one that morning. So I just said to him, “It’s just the way it is. When it’s cold, it makes us go pee a lot.” Have you ever been in a situation like that when you get stumped with a question like this? I knew there was a better explanation that I’ve heard or read somewhere. But my failing and aging mind couldn’t come up with it.

A few days later, I was talking to my friend Elaine about it and asked her that question. She gave me an answer right away. When it’s cold, we don’t sweat. Well, maybe only a little. So the excess water in our body needs another outlet to get out. And how else? To pee. I knew that. That was exactly what was in the back of my mind when Ryan asked me.

Elaine is 11 years younger than me and she still has a good memory. She also doesn’t have any children yet. This reminds me of a magazine article that said, “When you start having children, your level of concentration goes down.”

I don’t know if it’s having children or if it’s aging that’s making my memory weak. Here’s another instance. Ryland and Ryan were watching Survivor with me last week, but Ryan missed the last 10 minutes. The next morning, Ryan asked me who got voted out. I tried to rattle my brains for an answer and then Ryland blurted out, “Amy!” before I could. I remembered the challenges and other incidents that happened in the episode but couldn’t remember who got voted out. How could I forget what I just watched the night before? Pretty scary, huh?

I later on searched the internet on a more scientific explanation of why the cold weather makes us pee. Here’s what I found out.

"A common symptom of cold weather is its effect on urine
production. Exposure to cold causes a reduction in blood flow to the
surface of the skin by constriction of blood vessels. This reduces the overall
volume of the circulatory system so increasing the blood pressure. The body's
response to this is to reduce the fluid volume by getting rid of water in the
urine. So when you get cold, you want to pee. "

Source: http://www.coolantarctica.com/Antarctica%20fact%20file/science/cold_humans.htm

Raking, back pains, and witches

2005-10-31T23:00:00.001-06:00

I think it was five years ago when my lower back started to bother me. After asking many questions, my doctor suggested that I delegate some more of the household chores to my family.

I am well aware of what triggers my back pain, namely, carrying heavy groceries, raking and shoveling.

I have found a solution about the groceries. I always bring several bags and I distribute the weight of my items evenly. I can usually get away with shoveling the snow. If I can’t, I do very little of it. I leave this chore to my husband although we sometimes fight about it. My sister usually beats us in shoveling the driveway, which we share, since she’s the one who has a car. I sometimes feel bad about it. So when Fall comes, I do tackle raking the leaves even though I know what’s in store for me. I would really like to leave this job to the kids, but you see, they won’t do it unless I start doing it.

And so Friday and Saturday of last week, I was out there with the rake, rubber gloves, several garbage bags and my three boys. Oh, don’t be fooled. It’s not their favourite chore either. They were just really being nice to their dear old mother. The store flyers are now full of wonderful things that remind them of Christmas and the wish lists are a-coming. I have started hearing “Mommy, can I have this for Christmas?” and I have started saying, “I’ll think about it.” Now, do you see what I mean? This is how it works well for all of us. I did only half the job and left the rest of the raking and bagging to them. I didn’t want to over-exert myself. And yet I still got this nasty back pain. It wasn’t as bad as last year though.

When I am feeling these aches and pains, I get cranky and grumpy. I can be in a lousy or foul mood. I can be a witch, not to everybody. Only to certain people. But I can easily be cured by a dose of TLC, an extra hour of sleep and a little trick-or-treating.

About Halloween

2005-10-30T17:51:00.001-06:00

All About Halloween

On Halloween lots of children wear costumes and lots of children have lots of candy. Some people put up lots of very spooky decorations and some people put a little bit of spooky decorations up.

On Halloween I will be a knight and my baby brother will be Batman. Last Halloween my costume was the green Power Ranger and my baby was a pumpkin.

Sometimes my mom tells ghost stories, goblin stories and monster stories and after she reads them I get nightmares. I woke up at 1:30 that night and then somebody was opening the door and it was my mom.

Written by Reggie in Grade 2, October 1996

One Morning at the Grocery Store

2005-10-27T21:59:00.000-05:00

It’s Saturday and I’m going to Superstore! Grocery shopping may be just one simple routine for anybody but not for a work-at-home mom like me. It is actually one of the highlights of my week. This is my chance to get out of the house and be around people other than my husband and kids after being cooped up in the house for the whole week.

“Good Morning,” greets the hostess standing by the entrance door. I smile and say, “Good Morning,” as I push through the automatic doors the shopping cart that reaches up to my chest.

I pause and look at my shopping list, which I prepared before I left the house. My list helps me remember to buy the things that I need and helps me avoid several trips to the store. This also helps me refrain from impulse buying.

Read the rest of this entry at Pinoyatbp.

Brad, the Raptors, and the game

2005-10-25T21:07:00.000-05:00

Brad Pitt was in town shooting the film The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I’m not really a fan. Although, I was excited at first when I learned that the shooting would take place at the antique Exchange District. The place was transformed into a Western setting. The crew covered the streets with dirt, buggies, and horses. But I’m not the type of person who would stand out there and watch a shooting just to take a peek at Hollywood stars. I’m not crazy about Brad, anyway. I know a few people who are more interested in gazing at the alluring Miss Jolie.

Well, anyway, I thought that there could be a chance that Brad would show up at the Raptors game last night. Although I’m not a fan, I thought it would have been cool to see a movie star in person. But he wasn’t there. And yes, the Toronto Raptors and Portland Trailblazers were also in town. My 11-year old son, Ryan, who is into basketball, and many other Winnipeggers had been anticipating for months in watching the only Canadian team in the NBA play at the MTS Centre. Ryland and I went with Ryan to watch the pre-season game. This was our first time to watch a live professional basketball game and our first time to be inside the MTS Centre arena.

Even though Vince Carter is not in the team anymore (he was traded to New Jersey Nets), thousands of people still flocked the MTS Centre. I saw several kababayans (fellow Filipinos). None of them I knew except for my friend Elaine and husband Myke who were seated on the other side of the court. We also saw Jordan, Ryan's former basketball teammate.

During the first half of the game, the scores were pretty close. But by the third quarter, the Trailblazers were leading by over ten points. The Raptors started catching up during the last 43 seconds. That’s when the game became exciting. People were booing the Trailblazers every time they scored a basket, which I don’t really understand. When I watched my kids play in the league this Spring, the parents cheered the players not only in their team, but even the ones in the other team. I just think it’s rude to boo them. But I guess this is what people do at these basketball games. And oh boy, was Ryland hyped up! He was chanting and booing with the audience. He also thought that it was cool to do "the wave." I did, too.

We wanted the Raptors to win but with less than a minute to play, it was hard to catch up. They ended up losing, 105-98. It was a good game, though. And a memorable one for us since it’s the first NBA game we ever watched. I wonder if Ryan still wants to go to L.A. to see the Lakers play. Hmmn.

Working, appointments, and dismal weather

2005-10-23T17:54:00.000-05:00

Since I work at home, I don’t get out of the house that often. I know, I should set aside a few minutes to get out there and walk or something. But it’s not that easy when you’re running a household and trying to get through a 7 ½ work day. I get to go out every once in a while when I had to go to office meetings or when the kids or I have doctor’s or dentist’s appointments. And then, my daily routine gets all out of whack. During these times I had to get up earlier (a challenge for the night owl that I am) just so I could get my 7 ½ hours done before the end of the business day. I also need to manage my time more efficiently. I had to work harder on not getting distracted by chores or TV or the internet.

This past week had been a busy one for me. We had appointments on four different days. I don’t really mind it that much on days like these. It’s just that sometimes natataranta ako. I get stressed when I’m pressed for time. But it’s all good because I get to walk or run (to catch the bus). That's good exercise, right? Although, this past week had not been the ideal time to go out. It is so cold here now. Temperatures in the morning had been close to zero degrees C and highs of only up to around 14 degrees. It had been generally cloudy. It had been raining at times. Dismal weather is how I would describe it. Most of the trees are naked. Leaves have fallen. The kids did some raking but there are still leaves around scattered everywhere.

The Last Leaf

2005-10-23T17:47:00.000-05:00

These pictures were taken two weeks ago. It was windy when I took the first one that's why it's kind of blurry. The second one was taken in our front yard on a cloudy day.

My Guy

2005-10-20T22:39:00.000-05:00

This is the first stanza of the song My Guy sung by Mary Wells. I have been unable to get it out of my head for the last few days.

"Nothing you can say can tear me away from my guy.
Nothing you can do 'cause I'm stuck like glue to my guy.
I'm sticking to my guy like a stamp to a letter,
Like birds of a feather we stick together.
I'm telling you from the start I can't be torn apart from my guy. "

We went out last weekend to buy him a new pair of shoes. Since we were at the mall, I had my printer ink refilled at Island Ink-Jet. While waiting for it, we had French fries and rootbeer at A & W.

It’s always fun to go out with him. We never run out of things to talk about. When we were walking back to Island Ink-Jet, he swung my left arm over his shoulder and he wrapped his right arm around my waist. We were like lovers walking arm in arm. I don’t think that I have experienced that before.

My first boyfriend towered over me. He was over six feet tall. I barely reach five feet. I don’t think we even held hands because we were afraid that somebody would see us. Patago kasi ang date namin. My next boyfriend, who became my husband, is not the type who shows affection in public.

So I was thrilled when my seven-year old son Ryland and I walked stuck together through the crowded mall. Ganuon pala ang feeling when you’re walking arm in arm with somebody. It’s like you’re shouting to the world, “Hey, I am with someone whom I love and who loves me.”

I am thankful for...

2005-10-16T19:52:00.001-05:00

I have mentioned before that we don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving (second Monday of October here in Canada). But I guess in a way we do. Although we just stay home, we cook something special like spaghetti and chicken (in lieu of the turkey).

The younger kids would bring home a paper cut out of a turkey and for wings, they would cut out strips of paper where they wrote down the things that they were thankful for.

This year, Ryland’s says:

I am thankful for…
- the food
- my bed
- my eyesight
- that I get a lot of love (Aww!)

You see, I always remind my kids to finish what’s on their plate and that they shouldn’t complain if they don’t like what we’re having for dinner. How many times have they heard me say, “You’re lucky you have food to eat. There are many kids in other countries who barely have anything to eat.” Sometimes I feel guilty nagging them like that especially when my voice gets stern and my youngest one starts to cry. And I guess this is the reason Ryland is thankful for the food.

I know he loves his bed. His mattress is the newest one in the house. We bought it two summers ago when we replaced his old soggy bed, the coils of which were poking his back.

I just love that he said that he’s thankful for his eyesight. For the last two years this child has been on the borderline of wearing eyeglasses. I just got an appointment with his optometrist for next week because I think it’s time for him to wear spectacles. Last year he said that the priest was blurry when we were at church. He’s not seeing clearly and yet he’s still thankful for his eyesight.

He’s thankful that he gets a lot of love. If that doesn’t melt your heart, I don’t know what will. I’m glad that he feels that way because he is surely surrounded by love.

I am constantly amazed at how my children pick up the little things that I say or teach them. I always try to instill in them that they should be thankful for the things that they have.

I, myself, used to fret about things. Like the time I contacted my high school classmates in 2002. I was jealous of their jobs especially this one classmate who is a successful CPA (Certified Public Accountant). I was a CPA back home but I wasn’t able to pursue the career when I migrated to Canada. On the other hand, this classmate, who longs to be married and have kids, was envious of me. I then realized that I have a decent job as a benefits examiner, a comfortable life with my husband and these three wonderful children and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

In spite of this realization, I still find myself complaining and fretting. About people getting promoted at work and how I am stuck in my position because I chose to work at home. But of course I don’t regret choosing to work at home because of the reasons I’ve mentioned here and in Confessions of a Work-At-Home Mom.

Every now and then, I complain about my twin size bed. About how small it is and how I am always at the edge because my husband hogs the bed. Until I realized that he just wants to be closer to me and there I am trying to distance myself just so that I could get enough sleep (wink). How lucky am I that I sleep with someone who loves me. Some people don’t. How lucky am I that I have a soft (even though it’s creaky) and warm bed. Many people who have been hit by the hurricanes don’t have a bed to sleep on or a roof over their head.

I guess Thanksgiving is a day that has been set aside so that we could reflect on the things that we are thankful for. Thank you, Ryland, for reminding me.

Autumn Leaves

2005-10-10T21:53:00.000-05:00

Blogger Ange has a very nice illustration of autumn leaves in Clamoo.

The red leaves are my favourites. There aren't a lot of them though. I had to go out of my way just to get these shots. Click away.

The Colours of Fall

2005-10-08T21:18:00.000-05:00

The snow is gone. Well, for now. It will come back to stay sooner or later. For the meantime, let us enjoy the view.

These pictures were taken these past two weeks. We were driving home from church when we spotted the (first) sight below. Four trees of different colours in one spot. Isn't that lovely? Click on the images for a larger view.

Early snow

2005-10-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

We were blanketed with wet snow yesterday, the first this season. And it's quite early.

Somebody else's flowers survived the cold weather. I pulled out my withering plants several weeks ago.

It was cold and slushy. Ryland's socks were soaking wet when he came home from school.

OOPS, He Did It Again

2005-10-05T22:22:00.000-05:00

I always remind my three sons (and my dear husband) to flush the toilet after they use it, especially if they did number two. Because really, who wants to see somebody else’s poop.

I know, I am their mother and I’ve seen plenty a poop when they were still in diapers and when they were still toilet training. But come on, my youngest is seven and I thought I’ve already graduated from Toileting 101.

I also remind them to close the lid after they use it. Actually, what I tell them is to close the lid and then flush. This way the bacteria aren’t scattered around. A little tip I learned from an Oprah show. I thought this would solve our toilet seat problem.

Read the rest of this entry at PINOYatbp, where I am guest blogger.

PINOYatbp is a community blog that offers news, articles, and recipes - written by fellow Pinoys (slang for Filipino) from all over the world.

Yellow Tree, Very Pretty

2005-10-03T22:07:00.000-05:00

I took advantage of the sunny weather last week and I went out to take pictures of the lovely scenery outside. The leaves are turning into different colours and they are a pretty sight. Click on the images for a larger view. I will post some more in the following days.

Retiring Gracefully

2005-10-02T16:01:00.001-05:00

Rowena Delmundo, 55, retired on September 30, 2005 after 15 years with GWL.

But as Michelle, her supervisor, said, she doesn’t look like she’s retiring. Rowena looks as young as ever. She doesn’t seem to age. She’s as beautiful and as elegant as she was on May 27, 1996, the day I started working at GWL.

Before that, Rowena worked at the Toronto BPO as preprocessor. When the BPO integrated, she moved to the Winnipeg office and then in 1996, she took on the role of a benefits examiner.

At first, I thought that her name was Norweena because of the way Pat, our Trainor, pronounced her name. I didn’t know that here in Canada, they say Rowena (Ro-wee-nah) differently than we do in the Philippines, which is Ro-weh-na. I was very glad when I learned that I was training at the HDCC with a fellow Filipino. She was very amiable and she introduced me to her other Pinoy friends. We always had lunch together at the north end corner of the cafeteria.

Read more and view pictures here.

Goodness

2005-09-27T23:12:00.000-05:00

GOODNESS. This word has been on my mind since I started reading Pulitzer Prize Winner Carol Shields’ Unless.

Unless is a story about Reta Winters who was reassessing her life after her oldest daughter Norah, 19, dropped out of university and started panhandling at the corner of Bloor and Bathurst in Toronto. Norah sat cross-legged there on the street wearing a cardboard sign that read “GOODNESS.” She wouldn’t talk to anybody even her family and she refused to go home. At night, she stayed at a homeless shelter. You can just imagine Reta’s anguish as the cold winter days approached and Norah was out there begging while she, her mother, was safe at her warm and comfortable home with her husband Tom and their two younger daughters, Christine and Natalie.

Unless brought me back to that time about 20 years ago when a similar thing happened to a Certain Girl (CG).

It was the end of the second semester. CG just finished her second year of college. She and her older sister were living by themselves. CG came home one night with a friend who was there to help CG tell her sister that she wanted to enter the convent. Her sister was appalled. She couldn't understand why CG wanted to do be a nun. Her sister wept that night. I was reminded of the movie Sister Stella L., when her sister asked CG "can't you serve HIM in ways other than entering the convent?" That was the same line that Jay Ilagan's character said to Sister Stella L, played by Vilma Santos, in the movie. But CG was head-strong. There was no budging her. She really wanted to do it. She was under 18 years old then and her sister was sort of her guardian. Her sister was helpless and there was nothing that she could do but agree. The next day, CG entered the convent.

CG’s mother was very distraught when she learned that her daughter entered the nunnery. Like Reta, she wanted to reclaim her. CG’s sister felt guilty. She thought that she had not been a good sister to her. They always quarrelled. Also, she convinced their mother that they could manage to live on their own and take care of themselves. But she felt that she failed their mother.

Unlike Norah, who wouldn’t talk to her family, CG’s sister and a few relatives were able to visit and talk to her in the convent. They knew why she went there. And yet her sister blamed herself for not being a good sister.

On the other hand, Reta, who had no idea why Norah chose to live in the streets, blamed men, (novelists, journalists, critics) whom she wrote unmailed letters to. She accused them of shutting out women of the universe, of neglecting to mention them as great writers.

Let’s go back to the word GOODNESS.

In Unless, Reta analyzes this word. In the first chapter, she says, “I don’t know what that word really means, though words are my business. The Old English word wearth, I discovered the other day on the Internet, means outcast; the other English word, its twin, its cancellation, is worth - we know what that means and know to distrust it. It is the wearth that Norah has swallowed.”

In my dictionary, it says, “GOODNESS applies to the inner quality in a person that makes him kind, generous, fair, sympathetic, and otherwise acceptable in character and conduct.”

To Norah, GOODNESS is distributing to other street people nine-tenths of what she gathers in her begging bowl.

To CG, it is serving the Lord, praying to Him, adoring Him.

What do I think goodness is? I think what Terry Fox did is goodness. So does what people are doing to help our less fortunate neighbours. I think it means being compassionate. Being nice and friendly. Forgiving each other. Not breaking the law. Not being judgemental.

The reason why Norah became a beggar is revealed in the final chapter of Unless. What happened to her in the end is also quite similar to what happened to CG. I hate to spoil the ending. So go and check it out. It’s a good read.

The Season's A-Changing

2005-09-22T22:57:00.000-05:00

The days are getting shorter. The nights are getting colder. The leaves are turning yellow. Yes, it’s that time of the year again.

It’s time to stock up on Halls lozenges, cold and cough medicines, inhalers. Time to bring out the fleece sweaters and comforters. I so do sound like a mom. That’s because this is the time when my kids start to get sick. And then daddy and mommy will, too.

Fall officially starts today. And instead of feeling blue, I will try to enjoy the beauty of this season. I will watch the leaves turn to yellow, orange, red, and then brown.

Fall is also the time when the new TV season begins. Some of my favourites are: Desperate Housewives (every once in a while I feel like I am one), Lost (great writing, always keeps me at the edge of my seat), Survivor (I enjoy watching the challenges), The Amazing Race (it gives me a glimpse of different places around the world), Smallville (love Tom Welling), The Ellen DeGeneres Show (she cracks me up), The View (I enjoy watching the girls talk about hot topics), Dr. Phil (he helps me heal), Oprah (who doesn’t love her) and my newest favourite, Martha.

What a great comeback for Ms. Stewart. We see the real person in her daytime show. She is very nice and warm. And I also love The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. I could learn a few things from her. I already did from watching the first episode. Connecting. We have to connect with our readers. I love the theme song as well - Sweet Dreams (Are made of these) by Annie Lennox. As Martha always says - it’s a good thing.

He always copies me

2005-09-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

Over the summer, I noticed that Reggie had taken the habit of putting his right hand inside his jeans pocket. There was this one instance when my three boys and I were waiting for the bus. There stood Reggie with his hand in his pocket. Behind him was Ryan, his hand in his pocket as well. And behind Ryan was Ryland doing the same thing. I couldn’t help but smile. It was a indeed a Kodak moment and I was tempted to take a snapshot but there were other people at the bus stop and I didn’t want to embarrass the boys.

My two younger boys tend to copy their older brother/s.

Here’s another instance.

At snack time on Sunday afternoon, Ryan was eating one of Ronald’s Nature Valley Honey ‘N’ Oats granola bar.

“What do you want to eat, Ryland?” I asked my youngest boy.

“Can I also have that same thing Kuya Ryan is eating?” (For the sake of my non-Pinoy readers, Kuya is what we call an older brother.)

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “Which flavour do you want?”

He picked the Maple Harvest one.

I noticed Ryan threw an unpleasant glance at Ryland.

“Ryan,” I said, “why are you looking at your brother like you’re a bad guy from a movie?”

“Because he’s always copying me,” he replied.

I noticed the smile on Reggie’s face and I couldn’t help but chuckle when I said, “You always copy Kuya Reggie, too.”

“No, I don’t”

“Oh yes, you do. Does this sound familiar? ‘It matters if Kuya Reggie goes then I’m coming.’”
(That’s his usual answer whenever I ask him if he wants to go somewhere.)

“I play outside and he doesn’t.”

“There are many things that he does that you also copy. That’s why you should set a good example because your little brother will always copy you. If you do bad things, he might copy that, too.”

He may deny it, but he does copy his Kuya. The way he dresses and the shows he watches - just to name a couple. And I think it’s also the reason Ryan, though he complains sometimes, does his chores obediently. He sees his Kuya does his diligently.

How about you? Have you ever copied or have you been influenced by your older sibling?

Remembering Terry

2005-09-15T23:15:00.000-05:00

Every September my kids participate in the Terry Fox Run at school. It wasn’t until last November, when Terry Fox was voted the second Greatest Canadian, did I learn the story of this young man who had been very passionate in raising funds for cancer research. In commemoration of the 25th anniversary of his Marathon of Hope, CBC aired on Sunday the docudrama Terry, which starred Shawn Ashmore.

Terrance Stanley Fox was born right here in Winnipeg, Manitoba and was raised in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. He was an athletic boy. But as an eight-grader, he was a small kid. His coach challenged him to build his endurance by running. He was competitive. He was athlete of the year when he graduated from high school.

At 18, he experienced a searing pain in his right knee. He was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma, a rare kind of bone cancer that tends to target active boys and young men. They cut off his leg six inches above the knee to prevent the spread of cancer. He underwent 16 months of chemotherapy. He faced it and decided not only would he beat it, he would do battle for the rest of us too. He was never in it for the glory.

On April 12, 1980, he started the Marathon of Hope in the Atlantic Ocean at St. John’s, Newfoundland. With only one leg, he ran a marathon a day. Self pity never occurred to him. He was going to run 53,000 miles from sea to sea (Atlantic Ocean to Pacific Ocean) across Canada to raise a $1 for every Canadian. But after four months of running six provinces, he started coughing. The cancer had spread to his lungs and he was forced to abandon the marathon on September 1980. Several months later, he died at the age of 22.

Terry was proclaimed a national hero. The annual Terry Fox Run is held not only in Canada, but in 50 other countries as well.

When asked, “What made you want to do this run?”

He answered:

“After I was diagnosed with cancer, I stayed in the children’s ward. So I was around all these grateful kids, you know, really brave. Always talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. And a lot of them might never get a chance. So when I got out of there, I just decided that if I was lucky enough to survive, I’d make sure I do something good. And I started running.”

Terry has a highway, a mountain and a coastguard ship named after him. Also eight schools, a stadium and a fitness trail.

Being a good neighbour

2005-09-14T22:38:00.000-05:00

I was working on Saturday at around 3:00 p.m. when I heard a child crying outside. My three boys were all inside the house, so I knew that child wasn’t one of mine. I looked out from the window of my workstation upstairs. I saw a little boy, about 6 or 7 years of age, lying on the grass. Beside him was a woman with short ash blonde hair. I supposed she is his mother. She was stroking his back. Two bikes lay on the sidewalk. I figured that the poor boy must have fallen from his bike. Usually there are people outside at this time of day, but not this day since it was a sweltering 30C degrees. I watched the woman look around. I thought she wanted some help. I yelled, “Lady, are you okay.” She looked up and said, “Yeah, he just scraped his elbow.” That’s good, I thought. I saw her poured some water from her bottle on the boy’s elbow. She then took something from a Ziploc bag. It looked like bandages. She was prepared. So I figured they were all right and I went back to my work. Yet I was constantly peeking to see what was happening down there. After about five minutes or so, they were both up on their feet and they rode their bikes.

Although I didn’t go out there to physically help, I felt good. I was reminded of the parable of the Good Samaritan.

"A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of
robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Now
by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by
on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him,
passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and
when he saw him, he was moved with pity. He went to him and bandaged his wounds,
having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought
him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave
them to the innkeeper, and said: "Take care of him; and when I come back, I will
repay you whatever more you spend." Which of these three, do you think, was a
neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers? He said: "The one
who showed him mercy." Jesus said to him: "Go and do likewise." (Luke
10:30-37)"

Do you know who I think is a Good Samaritan? Each and every one of our brothers and sisters who have been supporting and helping our neighbours down in New Orleans. Everyday I watch on TV the devastating aftermath of hurricane Katrina. It is so heartbreaking to see people losing their homes and loved ones. And yet it is so heartwarming to see people helping not only by donating money and supplies but by actually going down there to give these people a hug and a helping hand. The GOODNESS is so contagious. I want to spread it around as well in any little way I can.

They're a year older and they're back to school

2005-09-07T21:36:00.001-05:00

With newly cut hair, freshly washed jackets, heavily filled backpacks and a good night’s sleep, my kids, together with their cousins, headed back to school this morning. I sure hope they had banked enough sleep. I have been making them go to bed earlier this past week. And for the last couple of days, I made sure that they were in bed by 9:00 pm, their school night bedtime.

I went through their supply list once more after breakfast. Every item has been checked off. On top of Ryan’s list was this note from his teacher: I do not recommend buying new materials, wherever possible use old supplies that are in good condition. And we did just that. It saved us a few bucks.

The kids are a year older and have moved on to a higher grade. Over the summer vacation, I have noticed that not only have they grown taller, they have matured and have become more responsible as well. There have been less bickerings. Oh don’t get me wrong. They still quarrelled, but there have been less of that. There have been more sharing and more independence. Reggie has been very generous in letting Ryland use his GameBoy Advance SP. Ryan has been (at times) helpful at teaching Ryland with Pokemon battle attacks. Reggie has learned how to clean the toilet. Ryland has been pitching in with the chores more as he has learned how to wash the dishes. Just yesterday, I asked Ryland if he needed help cutting his food. He said no.

This one’s a biggie. Ryland has learned how to ride a bike. Nadaig pa si Mommy. I was going to teach myself how to ride one, but I thought that a forty-year old woman in a bike with training wheels would look ridiculous. (What do you think?) So this afternoon, I asked Ryland teasingly to teach me how to ride a bike. He said, “It’s so easy. Just three words. Practice. Balance. Bike hard.” Wise words from the mouth of a babe.

Living frugally

2005-09-02T23:34:00.001-05:00

The price of gasoline is skyrocketing! It doesn’t take the wisdom of an economist to realize that prices of commodities will go up as well. At times like these, we have to spend our precious money wisely.

Having been raised in the Philippines, I have always been thrifty anyway. Some of my kababayans (countrymen) may think that we’ve got it easy here in the northern part of the world, but I beg to disagree. We are also feeling the pinch of rising prices and expenses of a growing family. Blogger Ajay has cited time-tested ways on how to live frugally here.

I have a few tips to share as well. The following are some of the things my family and I do and have done to cut down our expenses.

1. I switched my credit card account to a low-interest account – from 18% to 10% interest rate.

2. I later on applied for a credit line at my bank and transferred my credit card balances. A credit line has a considerable lower interest rate.

3. I don’t use my credit cards when I shop. I keep them just for emergencies.

4. I sit down and record my purchases from my interact card and I balance my checkbook at least once a week to make sure that I don’t have an overdraft, hence avoiding overdraft and NSF fees.

5. I work overtime especially if I have an upcoming expense. I set limits though. I don’t work on Sundays and I don’t let work interfere with family obligations.

6. We take the bus because we don’t own a car. Or I could paraphrase that. We don’t own a car so we take the bus. We don't have to spend a lot on monthly payments, gasoline and car insurance.

7. When we signed up for internet service four years ago, we switched to basic cable service. We used the money we saved – the difference between full cable and basic cable service – to pay for the internet service.

8. We refrained from buying cell phones. We don’t need these. I work from home and my family can reach me anytime of the day.

9. In the summer, we use electric fans. We turn on the air-conditioning unit only when the temperature reaches 27 C degrees and up. Likewise, in the winter, we turn the heat down before we go to bed. We can feel warm under the covers.

10. I avoid buying celebrity magazines. I get celebrity news from the internet or TV.

11. We go to the movies only once or twice a year. It could be expensive. The last time we went to the movies, we spent about $60.00.

12. I swap books and movies (VHS tapes and DVDs) with family and friends.

13. We seldom do this now, but when my children were younger, we used to go to the library to borrow children’s books and movies.

14. I read “Anna Karenina” on the internet. Literary classics can now be read on-line.

15. We seldom eat out. We usually eat a meal at home before going shopping. In case we get hungry while out, we have snacks – still cheaper than a meal.

16. We own only one family computer and we don’t intend to buy another one. Having only one computer can sometimes be frustrating in a family of five, but the good thing is that the kids (and I guess Mom and Dad, too) have learned how to take turns - patiently.

17. I shop for groceries at Superstore. It has the best bargains and discounts. I’ve also applied for a PC points program. Whenever I earn at least 20,000 points, I can redeem them towards $20.00 free groceries.

I have also posted these grocery tips in Catherine’s Corner a few years ago.

1. Make a shopping list before you go to the grocery store. This will avoid impulse buying. This will also help you remember to buy the things that you need and avoid several trips to the store.

2. Sort your shopping list. Write down all the items that you'll find in the same aisle, i.e. list all dry products together, meat products on one column, fruits and vegetables on another column, etc. This will save you time at the grocery store.

3. Use store coupons. You can find them in newspapers and flyers.

4. Look on the top shelves. Most stores put the less known brands (less expensive, too) on the top shelves. The more common brands (more expensive) are on the lower shelves, or on your eye level, to attract you, the consumers.

5. Buy store brands or generic brands, they're a lot cheaper. Every cent that you save on each item will add up to $ in savings.

6. Buy in bulk. Not only are you saving money, but you're also helping the environment with less packaging. Be conscientious, though. Do not buy perishable items in bulk if you won't consume all of them before they go bad.

7. Buy fruits and vegetables that are in season. They are cheaper and fresher.

8. "Mommy, I want that! Mommy, buy me this!" Sounds familiar? Well, leave the kids at home. (Just kidding!)

Don't have lots of money

2005-08-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

I am always trying to instill into my kids’ minds the value of money. Money doesn't grow on trees. Even in this part of the world, we have to work hard in order to get by.

When my oldest son, Reggie, was still a little boy, I would tell him that he couldn’t buy every toy that he desired in the store. I would explain to him in the simplest words that his young mind could understand, “We don’t have lots of money.” When we had to wait for the bus for half an hour because we just missed the last one, he would ask me, “Why don’t we have a car? Our cousins do.” I would tell him, “Because cars are expensive and we don’t have lots of money.”

I didn’t realize then if he understood what I had been explaining to him. That is, until I read what he had written on his Grade 2 school journal. I knew that his teacher always read and checked her students’ journals. At first I didn’t know if I would be embarrassed or proud of the journal entries below.

October - All about Thanksgiving

On Thanksgiving, we eat turkey but some of us don’t eat turkey because we don’t have lots of money. Some of us celebrate Thanksgiving and some of us decorate our house and some of us put lots of decorations and some of us put a little bit of decoration because we don’t have lots of money.

December - My Christmas Wish

The people that don’t have our stuff are very poor because they don’t have lots of money. If there are sick kids I wish somebody can give them a present.

Now, I don’t know if “We don’t have lots of money” follows correct grammar. Should it be “We don’t have a lot of money”? And we don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving at home. I grew up in the Philippines and we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving there. Thanksgiving is just another day off for me. Also, I prefer chicken to turkey.

I guess in the end, I felt more proud than embarrassed of his journal entries. He was getting what I was trying to teach him.

Reggie, by the way, is now 15 years old and will start Grade 11 next week. His writing has become a lot better and deeper. He still understands that we don't have a lot of money and that he can't buy every CD that he desires in the store.

11 Inexpensive things I did this summer

2005-08-26T22:41:00.001-05:00

As usual, I didn’t go away this summer. With a limited budget, I can’t really go on trips. But one doesn’t need to spend much to enjoy this time of year. These are some of the things I did with my family.

1. We went to The Red River Ex. We used two of the kids’ “Read and Win Pass.” Regular ticket price was $7.50.

2. We went to see the Bears on Broadway. This is free. There are three bears situated at locations other than Broadway Avenue. One outside the Winnipeg Art Gallery, one inside Polo Park, and one at the airport. The bears will be on display until October 2005.

3. Ryan and I watched a Goldeyes baseball game. Mama gave us two free tickets. Regular ticket price was $15.00.

4. We went to Steinbach Aquatic Centre. Entrance fee was $20.00 per family. Plus another $20.00 for gasoline. We carpooled with Mama. Steinbach is a city just an hour drive from Winnipeg.

5. We rented and watched lots of movies. Ninety-nine cents only every Thursdays at Pick-a-Flick.

6. We watched a free jazz concert at McNally Robinson.

7. We went to Folklorama. Entrance fee was $3.75 each. Children under 12, free.

8. We went to Tut at The Forks and visited the Egyptian Treasures Exhibition. Ticket was $5.00 each. Children under 5, free.

9. I read and finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince during my two-week vacation from work. The book sold for $21.40 at Superstore.

10. I held a garage sale.

11. I shopped for school supplies and clothes for the kids at Superstore, Zellers and Walmart. There are always great bargains at these stores. I avoided brand names as much as possible except for a few items. For instance, UHU glue sticks are better than generic brands. Payless shoes tend to last longer than the ones from Superstore and Zellers. My kids, and also myself, prefer the clothes style better at Sears or Zellers than those from Superstore or Walmart.

There are a few other things that one can do without spending much or anything. Picnics at parks, visiting the zoo, going to garage sales (instead of holding one), biking, hiking, camping.

How about you? What did you do this summer?

How I held a garage sale

2005-08-21T22:45:00.000-05:00

Every summer, I tackle the job of cleaning out our basement. My three boys have bins and bins of neglected toys behind the stairs. We also accumulate unused items all year round and these are tucked away in the laundry/storage room. I usually sort the toys and other items that we don’t need any longer and I give those to The Salvation Army, the Canadian Diabetes Association, or whatever charity would call first. Really, I wonder how they got my phone number, and once you give them your old clothes or unwanted items, they will call you occasionally. It's just bad that I don’t always have anything ready for them.

We had been really on a tight budget this past seven months since hubby had been out of work. (He’s working now, thank goodness!) So as I was sorting those toys, I thought, mmn, why don’t I hold a garage sale? I could use the extra money for buying school supplies and clothes. I tell you, my boys do shoot up like trees.

I’ve seen people in our neighbourhood hold garage sales. I rarely go, though. I didn’t have any idea on how to price my wares. But sis and brother-in-law go to these sales occasionally. So, I’ve asked for their help. They priced almost all of my merchandise.

Here are some tips that I have learned from them and from my recent experience as well: (Click on the images for a larger view.)

1. Find out if you need a permit. I was searching the internet on how to hold a garage sale and a few sites mentioned to first find out if your community requires you to have a permit. After asking around, I found out that I didn’t need one.

2. Clean the items. Dust or wipe with a damp cloth to make them look appealing.

3. Put small toys of the same kind in a bag. For instance, I put four “Toy Story” toys in a sandwich bag, price - $1.00/bag.

4. Time your garage sale around payday (the 15th or end of the month). People are more likely to buy if their wallets are full.

5. Clearly mark the items with labels or tags. I used masking tape.

6. Make signs that indicate the place (your street address), the date and time of the garage sale. I printed mine in big bold letters on a white bond paper and taped it to a corrugated cardboard.

7. Put your signs up on strategic spots around your neighbourhood. I put mine at intersections close to bus stops around our area.

8. Set up a table or two in the garage, yard, or driveway. I borrowed sis’ folding table and an old picnic table, which I covered with the colourful plastic table cover, which I used at my son’s last birthday party. Arrange your merchandise neatly on the table or on the floor around it if you don’t have enough space. One lady commented that I had a very nice set-up. Thank you very much.

9. Put up balloons or any markers in front of your house on the day of the sale. One customer said that the balloons helped her find my place.

10. Make sure you have lots of change – coins and small dollar bills.

11. Have lots of plastic bags ready.

12. Greet your customers with a hello and a smile and thank them even if they just browsed.

13. If they seem friendly, don’t hesitate to chat with them.

14. If you notice a customer constantly holding, flipping, or examining an item, go ahead and ask, “How much do you want that for?” I gave a 24 mini Bible board book set for $2.00 even if the price tag said $3.00.

15. You will have free time in between customers and you could use this time to read or write, or whatever it is that you do. I read six chapters of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (finished the book in twelve days) and four chapters of Carol Shields’ Unless. I wrote this piece (How I held a garage sale) during that free time as well.

16. Ask your older kids to watch the sale when you have lunch or when you need a break.

17. Any unsold items may be donated to a local charity or may be kept for the next sale.

My two days (two Saturdays) of garage sale had been a pleasant experience. I got to meet the people in my neighbourhood. Some are friendly and some are just like, “whatever.” I was quite surprised that about a quarter of the people I met during this time spoke French. (I’m sure they sounded French.) The proceeds weren’t that bad either.

He wanted a peaceful reconciliation

2005-08-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

To commemorate Ninoy Aquino's 22nd death anniversary, I'm sharing with you this letter that I wrote my mother.

Mandaluyong, M. Manila
September 12,1983

Hello Dolly,

Hi! Hope you have lesser worries now. You shouldn’t, really. Because as Ninoy said, “I want a reconciliation with no violence.” That’s why we, here in the Philippines, are just cool. There is no violence. At first, people were panicking because they were afraid that there would be a rampage. But there hasn’t been any. It was kind of funny nga eh. We heard that people were withdrawing money from the banks, just in case of a turmoil. Then, on August 22, the day after Ninoy died, most of the schools here suspended their classes. My school (PSBA) was one of those. Did you really see on TV when Ninoy was shot? You see, that wasn’t shown on the news here. We saw when he got out of the plane, went down the steps, then CUT. The next thing we saw, his body was being carried away. He was already gunned down. That’s why the question, “Who shot him?” was a really big issue. At first, the story being reported on the news was that it was a “wanted” person (by the government) who shot him. Later on, it was reported that it was one of his escorts. One more thing, it was 2:00 pm when they televised the news here, when in fact, he was shot at 12:00 noon. I think, abroad, the shooting was shown on TV right away after it happened. It’s really very suspicious. It has been on the news ever since, up until now. People are really very dubious of FM, FL, and JPE. I think FM is the least guilty of the three. Because, you see, there are reports that FL and JPE are planning to resign. Siguro hindi na kaya ng conciencia nila.

Ninoy was buried on August 31. (You mentioned on your letter dated August 29 that you saw on TV his funeral. He was buried on Aug. 31. How did that happen?) Well, anyway, there were many people who attended the funeral. I was one of them. There were barely any students when I went to school that day. I saw two classmates, Tess and Lyn, and we went to Lerma-Espanya to watch the funeral. The procession, which started at Paranaque, passed through Espanya, on the way to Memorial Park. There were so many people on the streets, even on the rooftops. Hindi nga mahulugang-karayom eh. Even the overpass was full of people. Duon kami nakisiksik. We placed ourselves by the stairs so we could see clearly down below. We waited for a long time. When the procession came, we saw people carrying banners saying “ Ninoy hindi ka nag-iisa,” “Marcos the great liar,” “Marcos nag-iisa ka na lang,” “Fight for justice and freedom,” and many more. I didn’t see any representatives from the government, which was a good thing, because the writings on the banner were all against the government. And it was interesting to see that the police officers were not carrying guns. Batuta lang ang dala nila. Ninoy’s widow suggested that because he didn’t want violence. He wanted a peaceful reconciliation, which wasn’t granted to him. Then we saw the coffin, which was surrounded by yellow flowers. At the exact moment that the coffin came right below where we were watching, rain started to pour. We all got wet. Umuwi ako na parang basing sisiw. People in the jeep were staring at me because I was soaking wet.

That was done and over with. There was no violence. People are expressing their anger in the newspapers. Everything that we read in the papers is against the government. One paper was asking FM to resign in order to better the condition of the Philippines. Yesterday, September 11, was FM’s birthday. Only a few TV stations run tributes to him, unlike the past years, when every radio and TV stations have something to offer him. Ay naku! So much for that.

Is it true that you are planning to come home in December? I really hope so. Hindi naman delicadong magbalik-bayan. As I’ve told you, there is no turmoil here. You have nothing to worry about.

O sige ha, ‘til here. I am very sleepy now. I hope you can still read my handwriting. Don’t worry, okay. Bye. Ingat.

I love you,
Irene

You can also view this at Hello Dolly.

On talking and speaking up

2005-08-19T20:00:00.001-05:00

My high school classmate, Paul, recommended to me the movie Paulie. I was very eager to see it when he asked me to look at obvious parallelism with my journal entries and our high school life back in 1982. I thought I'd try to find a copy of this movie. I didn't have to search far since my sister has a tape of the film.

Paulie is a about a parrot that was given to Marie (Hallie Kate Eisenberg), a little girl who stuttered. Paulie (voiced by Jay Mohr) learned to talk as Marie was undergoing speech therapy. Paulie was separated from Marie and was transferred from one owner to the next until he ended up in the basement of a research lab where he met Misha (Tony Shalhoub), the Russian janitor. Paulie related to Misha how he had tried to search for Marie all this time and why he was sent in the basement, away from sunlight and any companion. Misha formed a friendship with Paulie, nourished him and helped him search for Marie.

One parallelism I saw was this. Paulie was transferred from one owner to the next. I have lived and moved from one place to another. I grew up in Noveleta, Cavite. When I was 12, my parents separated and Mama, my sister and I went to live with my aunt's family in Pandacan, Manila. After a year, Mama was able to get back up on her feet and we moved back to Cavite, this time in Imus. Two years later, Mama applied for a working visa in Canada, was luckily approved and went abroad, leaving sis and me with Auntie in Pandacan. I lived with Papa for a little while in Sampaloc and then in Mandaluyong before both sis and I settled in Pasig, where I met my future husband, Ronald. And now I am here in Winnipeg, Canada.

I think there are two important themes in the film.

First, Paulie being a parrot, it's about how talking gets us in trouble and how we have to be careful of the things we say. Sometimes, our mouth gets ahead of our brain and we let words out before thinking first. We have to be careful on how our words, either oral or written, will be interpreted by the receiver. Paulie had been in a lot of trouble for "talking." But as Misha said, "It's not that. It's how you say things. You have to be careful."

On the other hand, we have to speak up. For how will our listener or reader know how we feel or think about something. When I was in high school and even in elementary school, I was very shy and didn't participate much in class discussions or school organizations. And I think it had been to my detriment at times. I may have had these wonderful ideas but I just kept them to myself.

Misha told Paulie about the story of his love for this girl whom he went to school with. But he didn't tell her how he felt and the next thing he knew, she was marrying his best friend. "It's important to speak up," he said.

I can relate to Misha. As I have already mentioned, I was very shy and quiet when I was young. I was even surprised that a boy noticed me in high school and he actually became my first boyfriend. Somehow, we started drifting apart after a few months of dating until he stopped "seeing" me. I was heartbroken especially when I saw him with other girls at school. We would bump into each other and he would talk to me briefly but not about our relationship. I don't know why I didn't take the initiative to talk to him about what happened to us. It was probably pride. I didn't want him to think that I was still gaga over him if he wasn't interested in me anymore. Or it must be I thought that as a "dalagang Pilipina" (Filipino lady), I should be mahinhin (timid) and always let the guy speak up first. I have hoped for us to get back together until we graduated from college and I never saw him again. I then had to let him go. This is what I learned from that relationship. I have to speak up what's on my mind and how I feel.

So when the next guy came along, I made sure that I spoke up and told him how I felt. It worked. I am now married to this guy.

The second theme is Paulie's determination to find Marie. If there's a will there's a way, isn't there? Now, this one a can very well relate to.

In December 2001, I wrote my high school classmates in the Philippines. I haven't seen most of them since we graduated in 1982 and I have always wondered what happened to them. With 20-year old addresses and maiden names on those envelopes, I didn't expect much. But I wasn't discouraged when my then 13-year old son, Reggie, said, "That's impossible, Mommy!" A month later, I received that first e-mail from Annie Magdael, and the rest is, as they say, history. That e-mail was followed by several e-mails, not just from Annie, but some from other classmates as well, including my dear friend, Josephine Briones, and of course, Paul.

When Paulie narrated this: "Marie couldn't talk. Dad couldn't listen. Mom couldn't cope. So they got rid of me." I was reminded of my uncle and my aunt. They were very strict that they drove my boyfriend away. Yet I couldn't say or do anything. I was helpless.

Here are some more memorable quotes from Paulie:

"The things you love most are the things they take away."

"There are things in life you put off because you think you're gonna do them later. But the real thing Ivy taught me is: You gotta live like there may not be a later."

"How do you know if you met the right woman? She has to be pretty... smart... She has books on her table or flowers on her hair. It's important to have high standards."

"Talking just gets you into trouble. No, it's not that. It's how you say things. You have to be careful."

Paulie is a heartwarming family movie. My kids didn't want to watch it with me, though. I don't know if it's a boy thing, or it could be that they have outgrown this type of movies.

Revisiting my cultural heritage

2005-08-15T17:47:00.002-05:00

Michelle wrote this entry on the guest book of Catherine’s Corner:

“Hey! I was bored tonight and being in the Folklorama aftermast of sadness I decided to google the word "magdaragat" and see what comes up. I read your page entry about your visit to our pavillion (pearl of the orient) a few years ago and I have to say I was very entertained to hear an audience member’s point of view from the entire experience! I've been a member of the group for 7 or 8 years or something, and this is the first thing like this I've read. I hope that visit wasn't your last!”

I think it’s cool that pages of my humble website appear in Google searches. And no, it wasn’t my last visit. Actually, I have been visiting the Philippine pavilions ever since.

Last week, we went to see the “Nayong Pilipino” pavilion held at the new Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba (PCCM) building. As usual, I was mesmerized by the opening song. A Filipina youth rendered Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas, originally popularized by Sharon Cuneta. I was enthralled once again by the graceful movements of the Kayumanggi dancers in their colourful costumes. I finally had the chance to see the dances from the North. I was looking forward to watching the Igorot dance. It was the first time I saw a live performance of men clad only in bahag (G-strings). I also saw some of the dances from the South, the Moslem dances. I was in awe while I watched a couple dance, each of them on top of just a single thick bamboo pole carried by two men. They both managed to dance gracefully without falling off. Whew! And I just can never get enough of the tinikling. Ang galing talaga ng mga mananayaw.

And of course, going to a Filipino gathering like this, I bumped into a few familiar faces. And it’s always a treat to taste our delicacies. A huge tent was set up to accommodate the eating area. I noticed that there was only a small room for the cultural displays. I think that the PCCM building is quite small to hold a Philippine pavilion. But we had fun though.

Folklorama, by the way, is an annual two-week event that celebrates the diverse cultural heritage of the people who settled in Manitoba and Canada. Pavilions are hosted in church basements, community halls, gymnasiums and theatres of schools. The pavilions showcase traditional home-cooked meals, cultural displays, music and dances of the different cultures of the world.

Do they speak Tagalog?

2005-08-09T22:59:00.001-05:00

Two years ago I wrote Do They Speak Tagalog? in Catherine’s Corner. In observance of Buwan ng Wika (Language Month) in the Philippines, I am republishing this post.

It has been my mission to teach my children how to speak my native language, Tagalog. I don't really know why it is that important to me. My main reasoning is that when I am old and gray and have Alzheimer's Disease, or as we say in our native tongue, "kapag ako'y uliyanin na," and I forget the English language, I don't want them fighting over their inheritance (if ever they will inherit anything) because they can't understand me when I tell them what each of them will get.

I talked to my first child, Reggie, in Taglish (a combination of English and Tagalog). His babysitters, (he had been through three) were all elderly Filipino women who talked to him in Tagalog. I noticed a problem when he was already three years old, ready to start nursery school, and he couldn't talk in straight sentences, neither in Tagalog nor in English. I even recall that he called Batman, "Memen." You know how the Whites say "bat" with a long "a" sound and also "man" with a long "a," hence, "memen." My husband's uncle said, "He must have taken from his Daddy. Ronald was a late talker, too."

I sent Reggie to nursery school, worried that the teacher and the other kids would not understand him. Luckily he learned to talk in straight English soon after he started school. I continued to talk to him in Taglish and it worked out fine. Then came my second child, Ryan. I talked to Ryan the same way I talked to Reggie, in Taglish. I sent Ryan to a family daycare run by a very nice white lady after my 6-month maternity leave was over. Between the nice white lady and Reggie talking to Ryan in English, and watching TV shows that were in English, Ryan's first language became the English language. Same thing happened with my third child Ryland, who also went to daycare. And so it happened that as my three children were growing up, they were talking to their friends in school in English; and at home they were talking to each other in English. They talked to me in English and they answered me in English (they still do) even though I asked them something in Tagalog.

When Reggie was in the 2nd or 3rd grade, they had a routine hearing test at school. He came home with a letter from the teacher advising me that the test results were not good. I made an appointment for him to see a hearing specialist. I thought maybe that he did have a hearing problem. Sometimes at home, he would not hear me when I tell him, "Reggie, lumayo ka sa TV (get away from the TV)," or "Reggie, hinaan mo ang TV (turn down the volume)." We went to see an audiologist and after a few tests, the audiologist told me that his hearing was perfect. She explained to me that maybe he was just distracted at school and didn't hear the teacher when he was called. And since he didn't "hear" me at home either, that was when I realized that he did not understand me when I told him "lumayo ka sa TV (get away from the TV)." But when I told him "move away from the TV," he quickly did so.

Later on I was talking to my kids more in English than I talked to them in Tagalog. Their dad would talk to them in Tagalog and they would not understand him. Their dad would get upset when he'd ask "Reggie, kunin mo ang kamiseta ko sa itaas (get my shirt upstairs)," or "Ryan, hanapin mo ang tsinelas ko (go find my slippers)," and they won't budge from their seats because they didn't understand what he just said. When I told their dad "Don't get mad at them. Translate it in English. They didn't understand you." Ronald turned on me and said, "lagi mo kasi silang ini-inglis (That’s because you always talk to them in English)." I just couldn't help it. My child talked to me in English and my instinct was to reply in English.

I started talking to them more in Tagalog. It was not a piece of cake though. It took a lot of patience. Read more here.

What are real matters of consequence?

2005-08-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

Before I start reading a thick book this summer, I thought I'd revisit The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. The Little Prince may seem like a children’s book but it really addresses both the children and the adults in us. This is a story about love and loneliness.

I first read this book when I was a Freshman at Centro Escolar University. My Psychology teacher suggested that we read The Little Prince. And I did. That’s how easily one can persuade me. Well, not all the time.

The narrator is a pilot who met the little prince when he was stranded in the Sahara Desert. The narrator learned that the little prince lived alone in a tiny planet no larger than a house and where he owned three volcanoes, two active and one extinct. He also owned a flower, one of a kind, very beautiful but very proud. It was this pride that set the little prince to travel and he told the narrator about the different kinds of adults and creatures that he met. The reader will realize that one encounters these characters regularly.

The king claims that he rules the universe. Although his orders are reasonable, they are ridiculous. He gives orders that people will do anyway, such as yawning. The conceited man hears only praises. He craves for admiration. The tippler (drunkard) drinks to forget that he is ashamed of drinking. The businessman is too much occupied with counting the stars, which he claims he owns yet he doesn’t know what they are called. He is too busy to even greet and talk to his visitor. The lamplighter is the only one of them all whom the little prince could have befriended because he is the only one thinking of something else besides himself. But his planet has no room on it for two people. The geographer hasn’t explored his own magnificent planet because he believed that it is the explorer’s job, yet he has not a single explorer on his planet. “The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd,” the little prince said.

On earth, the little prince met a snake that only speaks in riddles because it claims that it can solve them all. He came upon a garden of roses where he realized that his rose wasn’t one of a kind after all. He met a fox that taught him how to tame (establish ties with) it because “One only understands the things that one tames.” The fox also revealed its secret to the little prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” The fox explained, “It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”

The little prince also met a railway switchman who explained to him that travelers rush to different directions and are never satisfied where they are and that “only the children know what they are looking for.” He met a merchant who sold pills that quench thirst “because they save a tremendous amount of time. With these pills, you save fifty-three minutes in every week.” Yet the little prince said to himself, “If I had fifty-three minutes to spend as I liked, I should walk at my leisure toward a spring of fresh water.

The Little Prince reminds us of the innocence of children and their constant thirst for knowledge. It also reminds us how adults are sometimes dull and unimaginative and how they are always busy with matters of consequence.

The Little Prince is a tiny book full of profound and hidden meanings.

Dog days of summer

2005-08-02T22:26:00.001-05:00

Here in Winnipeg, we get the extreme temperatures from both ends of the thermometer – from minus 33C (or lower) in the winter to plus 33C (or higher) in the summer. I think this is the hottest day this summer, so far. We reached a high of plus 32C with a humidex factor of 7. So it really felt like it was plus 40C. We had the aircon on for the last two days. This is one more reason I enjoy working at home. I don’t have to go out there under the heat of the sun. I did go out this noon in the sweltering heat to water my flowers. They looked so thirsty. My white petunias are thriving but the red pansies are struggling against the heat. We’ve had quite a few really hot days that we had melted chocolate bars and we had to put them in the fridge. We had steamed rice as well that had been spoiled. And I was sunburnt when I went to the baseball game. Well, I guess I can’t complain too much. This is a lot better than the summer we had last year.

Summer trivia:

Why are hot days referred to as dog days?

The phrase dog days is said to have originated in Roman times as canicularis dies, 'days of the dog,' referring to the dog star Sirius or Procyon. The Romans thought the rising of the most brilliant star of the constellation Canis Major contributed to the heat of summer.

Source of trivia: http://dictionary.reference.com/features/summer.html

Back on

2005-07-31T16:56:00.000-05:00

There are times when Ryland would put his shirt with the back on the front especially when he wears those ones in which I cut the tag off. Those tags help Ryland tell which side goes to the back but they sometimes irritate the skin and so I cut them off. He doesn’t like messing his brushed wet hair when he pulls up his shirt over his head to wear it with the front facing the right way. So I showed him how he can flip his shirt without pulling it up over his head. He needs to pull his arms in through the sleeves one at a time and when both arms are in, he turns the shirt ‘round his neck the other way. And then he pulls out his arms out through the sleeves again.

At church yesterday, I noticed that he had his striped shirt back on. It wasn’t really that noticeable but I made the mistake telling him. He immediately pulled his right arm in through his sleeve. I told him, “No, you don’t have to. It’s alright.” But how could he pay attention (as if) to Brother Jorge now that he knew he had his shirt back on, right? There was no stopping him. So I just stood behind him trying to cover him up. I thought it was funny.

My little wanderer

2005-07-31T16:18:00.000-05:00

Ryland and I went with Reggie to McNally Robinson the other night. Reggie wanted to watch the free jazz concert at the bookstore where the Starlight Jazz band played that night. Ryland was with me when I was leafing through some books and then he said that he’d go to his Kuya. I let him go but after a few seconds, this mother got worried. I took a peek where Reggie was browsing through the magazine section. Ryland wasn’t there. Where did he wander off? I was full of fear for the next 30 seconds. They seemed like 30 hours. I walked through shelf after shelf hoping that he was at the other end. My heart jumped when I found him there at the end of the third one. He looked like he was about to cry, but he said that he wasn’t. What are you gonna do if you get lost, Ryland? He didn’t answer. Do you know Mommy’s name? Our address? Phone number? He recited them to me perfectly well. I told him that if he did get lost to tell those information to a grown up, preferably a lady, not a man. But then again, I thought that there are also lady kidnappers. Was I just being paranoid? I hate the thought of losing my child. And yet I couldn’t imagine what the parents of all the missing children in this world must feel.

On friends and letting go

2005-07-26T21:40:00.001-05:00

Movies such as White Oleander move me and make me weep. I was once again transported back to my childhood.

White Oleander is about Astrid (Alison Lohman) who was 15 years old when her mother, Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer), went to prison for murdering a lover. Astrid was then sent to a succession of foster homes.

I was barely a teen-ager when my parents separated and that’s when we started moving from one place to another. When Mama left for Canada, sis and I went to live with my aunt. Although we both loved Auntie and cousins dearly, it had been just hard to fit in.

Also, moving from one place to the next, we left behind belongings. And I guess the hardest part was leaving behind the friends we met. Like Astrid, there came a point when I got afraid of attaching myself too much to the people I’ve met. I just never knew when I would have to move again and then would have to let them go.

Although Mama didn’t control me like Ingrid manipulated Astrid, I told friends what Mama wanted me to tell them. That my father was abroad that’s why he wasn’t around. Being from a broken home was taboo back then.

I had a best friend during my childhood in Noveleta, Cavite. Olive and I had been friends since I was about two. We grew up together and shared our secrets and crushes. When Mama decided to leave Papa, she picked me up and Lina at school on a Friday afternoon. We left Cavite right there and then without going home to pick up our things. We didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye to anybody, including Papa and Olive. We saw each other again many times and we are still friends but we have both moved on.

When I was in high school, I met another dear friend, Estrella, who continued writing me when I moved to Manila from Imus, Cavite. I never told her the truth about my parents and when she realized that my stories didn’t tie up with one another, she started asking questions. I didn’t know how to explain everything to her. I was so confused that I told her that my life was a mess, she wouldn’t understand the situation I was in and that it was better if she stopped having anything to do with me. I underestimated her. She was hurt because I wasn’t able to trust in her. I never heard from her again. And I am sorry up to this day about what happened to our friendship.

All these years, I have met many other friends but never had one I would consider a best friend until now. I finally found one who I can talk to about anything. Elaine is one who I can confide to, share my innermost thoughts and secrets, even my personal demons and I know that she wouldn’t judge me. I hope this one stays. Even if she doesn’t, I’ll treasure our friendship forever.

A culture very similar to ours

2005-07-24T21:06:00.000-05:00

Sometime in 1990, when I was still new here in Winnipeg, this Asian guy at the bus stop approached me. I was then on my way to my part-time job at McDonalds. We were the only ones on that particular bus stop. He seemed harmless and I didn’t get nervous when he started talking to me in a different language. I told him, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Realizing that I was not from where he was, he said, “I thought you were Vietnamese.” I said, “No, I’m not.” At that time, I thought, well, I am Asian and I must have similar features with other Asians like the Vietnamese.

A few years later, I was at a local Vietnamese store when a lady started talking to me in that foreign language once again. She mistook me for a Vietnamese. I politely said that I was not.

Vietnamese and Filipinos do have striking physical resemblances. And I learned that there are more similarities than that when I saw Tran Anh Hung’s The Scent of Green Papaya, Winner Camera D’Or 1993 Cannes Film Festival. This movie was set in 1951 Saigon, Vietnam.

Summary:

Mui (Lu Man San) is only 10 years old when she leaves her family to take up residence as a servant-in-training. Hired by a merchant family, she is the victim of the son’s torment and a witness to both the father’s strange disappearances and the mother’s misery over her lost daughter. Yet Mui takes to her job with an almost spiritual devotion. She performs the most ordinary tasks with a delicate grace. The family’s old servant woman, Thi, teaches her how to prepare food – especially the green papaya which, when ripe is considered a fruit, but when green, is a vegetable.

Ten years later, Mui has grown into a radiant, graceful woman. Dismissed by the merchant family, she is sent to work for Khuyen, a wealthy composer, for whom she harbors a secret passion. Now under Khuyen’s roof, Mui’s service becomes mingled with love. Their seduction of each other begins with slight touches and chance encounters until little by little, they become indispensable to each other.

I enjoyed watching The Scent of Green Papaya because I can relate very well to the people, the scenes and the culture. They are very similar to those of the Philippines. Rice is also their staple food and we cook our ulam very much alike. They also use mosquito nets at night. And that servant thing reminded me of the house helpers we had back home.

The young Mui was very cute and graceful. The Scent of Green Papaya is subtitled but it won’t bother the viewer that much because there weren’t a lot of dialogues anyway. Told from Mui’s point of view, I think it focuses more on her observations of life. I loved that scene when she was watching the sap drop from the papaya stem, that one when she was studying the papaya seeds, and that one when she was watching the ants carry their heavy loads. And I also liked that the seduction was shown very subtly. It was very artistic, no vulgarity.

The Scent of Green Papaya is “a wonderful and touching story critically acclaimed around the world.”

Living life to the fullest

2005-07-21T23:08:00.000-05:00

Big Fish is a story about Edward Bloom (Albert Finney) who had been known for his tall tales. As a child, his son, William (Billy Crudup), was fascinated by his stories, but when he grew up he wondered which of his father’s stories really happened and which ones were just fabrication. All through his life, Will had heard his father tell people the story of his birth - the day he caught the uncatchable fish with his gold ring. This was the story Edward was telling Will’s guests on his wedding reception. Will got upset because it was the one night that was supposed to be about him but his father stole his thunder. They didn’t speak for three years after that night.

When Edward got ill, Will came home and asked his father to tell him the true versions of things. Because Will felt that he had no idea who his father was. Now that he was about to be a father, himself, it would kill him if his son wouldn’t know him. So Will tried to piece together the stories of his father.

The young Edward Bloom (Ewan McGregor) was a man of big dreams and ambition. His adventures began when he met the giant, Karl (Matthew McGrory), and left the small town of Ashton with him when he was 18 years old. Edward came to the town of Spectre - the first time he was early and the second time he was too late. He worked in a circus where he first met the woman he was going to marry. He was drafted to the war and was sent to Vietnam where he met the “conjoined twins.”

As Will tried to learn more about his father, he learned that there was more to Edward Bloom than his tall tales. He was “a man with more determination than any man you’ll ever meet.” He was an honest and generous man who helped a town when all it’s businesses went bankrupt. He made everyday a new adventure. And every “adventure was as big as life itself.” This is the lesson that I am getting from Big Fish. We should live our life to the fullest.

Will’s questions were also answered. When Will was growing up his father was gone more than he was there and he wondered if his father ever had another family. He discovered what really happened on the day he was born. His father told him about the witch with the glass eye which revealed how Ed was gonna go but he had never told Will because it was supposed to be a surprise ending.

As Big Fish starts, Will narrated, “My father didn’t see himself in me and I didn’t see myself in my father.” I think in the end, Will did.

Ewan McGregor was very charming as the young Edward Bloom. I enjoyed watching him with that whimsical smile. Alison Lohman was very pretty as the young Sandra Templeton. And what a striking resemblance to Jessica Lange, who played the older Sandra. Big Fish is another cinematic masterpiece from director Tim Burton, the same director who brought us Edward Scissorhands and The Nightmare Before Christmas.

My favourite parts of the movie are:

The first time Edward laid eyes on Sandra and he narrated, “They say when you meet the love of your life time stops and that’s true.” Then the frame froze except for Edward. The performers stood still, the peanuts floated in the air, Ed brushed away the peanuts as he walked towards the lovely Sandra. And then everything, except Ed, was in fast forward motion. And then he told Mr. Calloway (Danny Devito), “I just saw the woman I’m going to marry but I lost her.” I felt his pain.

When he finally tracked down Sandra in Auburn and told her, “You don’t know me but my name is Edward Bloom and I love you.” I just melted.

When the young Sandra opened the window of her dormitory and there stood the young Edward outside in a yard full of daffodils, professing his love for her. Edward had learned from Mr. Calloway that her favourite flowers were daffodils. “You don’t even know me,” said Sandra. “I have the rest of my life to find out,” said Edward. How romantic.

There are also many memorable quotes in Big Fish. These are some of my favourites:

The biggest fish in the river gets that way by never being caught.

There comes a point when a reasonable man will swallow his pride and admit that he’s made a terrible mistake. The truth is... I was never a reasonable man.

The more difficult something became, the more rewarded it was in the end.

A dangerous path is made much worse by darkness.

It’s rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.

The most things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely or lacking in social niceties.

There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost... the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is... I've always been a fool.

The thing about icebergs is you only see 10%. Ninety percent is under the water where you can’t see it.

Have you ever heard a joke you heard so many times you’ve forgotten why it’s funny? Then you hear it again and suddenly it’s new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.

There are more memorable quotes here.

Big Fish is rated PG13- Parents strongly cautioned. I was alarmed by the phrase “some images of nudity” so I told my children that it’s not for kids. I guess I could have let my 15-year old watch it because it was just the naked butt of the lady in the river and that of Devito's that you'll see. Oh yeah, there's a silhouette of a naked lady swimming. "A suggestive reference" may pertain to Calloway's shaking trailer, which could suggest that someone's doing it there, but no, there were no scenes of that kind.

Racing against time

2005-07-15T20:02:00.000-05:00

As April raced against time to finish cooking the turkey, so did her ill mother, to create good memories with her daughter.

Pieces of April is a story about how April Burns (Katie Holmes) who was painstakingly preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for her family. She wasn’t in good terms with her mother, Joy (Patricia Clarkson), and she wanted to make amends. She wanted to show her family that she was doing fine on her own in NY. But disaster after disaster happened as she try to prepare a decent meal. The oven was broken, her boyfriend, Bobby (Derek Luke) left the house, and she struggled to find strangers in the apartment who would let her use their oven.

Meanwhile, her family was on the way over driving. Her sister Beth (Alison Pill) was waiting for her mother, who had breast cancer, to say that she “wasn’t up to it.” At first, Joy was determined to go even though she had been throwing up the entire trip. Then as she reminisced about her troubled relationship with April, she started to back out. Jim (Oliver Platt), her husband tried to persuade her to give April a second chance to prove that she can give her mother at least one pleasant memory. But when they saw April’s dilapidated place and Bobby’s bloody face, they turned back.

I was touched when April realized that her family left and she was crying on the bed. Instead of saying anything bad against her family (she had doubts that they’d ever come at all), she asked Bobby, “What are we going to do with all the food?” They invited the neighbours who helped her cook the turkey. So you see, behind her rebellious appearance, she really had a good heart.

April’s family was on their way back home when Joy saw in a restaurant washroom a young girl being cruelly treated by her mother. This was literally the turning point and they went back to April’s place. I burst down in tears when April opened the door and there stood her mother. They didn't have to say the words. They just looked into each other's eyes and you know what they wanted to say. They hugged and the family joined April’s guests.

I enjoyed watching Katie Holmes as the edgy April, such a contrast from her sweet character as Joey Potter on Dawson’s Creek. I think she’s a versatile actress and very beautiful, too. And did you know that this movie was shot in just 16 days?