Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Things are looking good

I went back to work yesterday after my one-week vacation. I am now at my new desk. I haven't got the chance to unpack before I left for my vacation, so that's what I did first thing in the morning. I was wiping and dusting, opening drawers and stuffing them. It's so quiet there. And I was so careful not to make a lot of noise when opening the metal drawers and taking my stuff out of the plastic bags. I didn't want to disturb the other people working. And instead of the Lysol wipes, I brought baby wipes, so it wouldn't give off any smell. You know how those disinfecting wipes have this smell. I didn't even want to bother people with any smell. I just want to join this group quietly.

Update: July 27, 2008

I'm getting settled in my new home. The first day back from vacation was kind of tough. I was away for actually ten days and once I started to get some work done, I felt like my mind went blank. Even if I had my training notes in front of me, it took me some time to get back into the groove. I was away last week, so I missed the meeting where my new supervisor introducted the new staff to the group. So I'm trying to blend in there. I tried to smile at people when I meet them on my way to the photocopier, the printer, the FAX machine or the supply cabinet. A few would smile back and there are some that just have this look on their face that says, okay I see you. And I wonder if they know that I'm one of the new girls. There was one who popped in my cubicle and introduced herself and welcomed me. So that was sweet. I'm still kind of shy to pop in anybody else's cubicle aside from the ones that were in my training group.

I am quite happy because I have been allowed to continue working overtime. Yeah, my former supervisor talked to me and she said that it was fine. She's the one who has to approve it since, as I've mentioned in my previous post, it's her department that I am helping out when I do my overtime hours. So I guess, getting this temporary position is actually a blessing in disguise. Even though I might not get the raise (yet), at least I can still work overtime. Because, I still do need that extra money.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Something new

I applied for a new position at work. It is one grade level higher than my current position. I love both my current supervisor and her assistant. They are just super nice. And the people in my area are also mostly nice. :) But when I learned about this position, I got interested because that means a higher pay. And I meet the job requirements anyway. I used to fret about being left behind because when I worked at home, I couldn't get any new training. I was stuck in my position for six years. Since I've been back at the office, I've been trained in a few different things.

They need five new people for this position. Three permanent and two temporary staff. I was hoping to get one of the permanent positions. But I thought that if I get the temporary position, which would last for four months, that wouldn't be too bad. It would be nice to learn and do something new even only for a little while.

So when I got the call from the manager and when she asked me if I was still interested in a temporary position, I said yes. She told me that they would review the position after four months and see if they'll still need the extra staff. So there's a possibility that I could become permanent. I asked her what will happen if I don't get permanent. I would be sent back to my department, which wouldn't be too bad. Because as I've said, I like it there and my supervisor is really nice.

We all started training last week. At first, the other temporary staff, let's just call her D, and I were told that we would be moving to the other office, which is just on a different floor. But that we would also be keeping our old desks in our current department. We don't have to move all our stuff, only the things that we need. That is, if our desks won't be needed for use of any new staff that would be coming in our department. But during the course of the week, as I was preparing to go on a one week vacation after training, my supervisor was telling me stuff that are the opposite of what I was told before.

Okay, first, I noticed that she removed me from her (email) mailing list and she also removed my sort box (inbox/mailbox) in our department on the first day of training. On the other hand, D was still receiving emails from her supervisor and she had retained her sort box. That alone had made me feel sad. Like I didn't belong there anymore and I haven't even started in my new department yet. And then on the last day of training, which was also the last day before my vacation, the new supervisor has confirmed with D and me that we could continue working overtime supporting the old department. We are not allowed to work overtime yet in the new department which is understandable since we can't be that productive yet if we are still learning new stuff. She also confirmed that we are keeping our old desks. On the other hand, my old supervisor told me that she and the manager in my old department will be reviewing my overtime and she told me to pack up my desk that same day. Her reason was that, anything can happen in four months. I wouldn't be too happy if they remove my overtime. I still need my overtime. Especially since I've learned, that I wouldn't get the new job grade level until I get fully trained, which I might not since I'm only hired temporarily for four months.

I don't know. I feel like I'm hanging in the middle of uncertainty here. I thought that applying for a new and higher position could only be good. But since I only got a temporary position, I am not too sure now. Or maybe I only have these feelings because I'm venturing into something new and feeling sad for leaving (temporarily) something that has been so familiar to me for many years, that is my old job, routines, and the friends that I have made in that department since I came back to work at the office seven months ago.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Reviving my old blog

I don't know why I feel like reviving this blog when I haven't posted anything in it for two years. Yeah, I've been blogging in Wordpress for two years now. Well, it also seems that long to me since I have posted a lot of entries there. I just find it odd, yes I find myself odd :) , that I am resurrecting this blog at a time when I'm not even actively blogging. It's true that I can still manage to compose a post at least once a week, but my bloghopping activities have diminished a lot these past six months or so. And I think that's also the reason why my blog stats have dwindled a lot. But I don't really care about the numbers. Okay, so I still check the stats once in a while. But I don't obsess about it. I know there are bloggers who say they don't care, but you know they do. As for me, if people visit my blog, good. Thank you very much. If not, that's fine too. And it doesn't mean I won't visit theirs anymore. I will still do when I get the chance.

So what do I plan on posting here. Maybe just some of my favourite songs, movies or videos. Or some of my silly thoughts and musings :) . Or stuff that I feel too embarrassed to post in my Wordpress blog because as much as I try to be anonymous there, I think it's too late. People I know are reading that blog. :) Or maybe, I can finally blog about work.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships

A few months ago, ABC’s 20/20 featured a show titled, Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships. It discussed the most complex female relationship.

Here’s an excerpt:

Mothers and daughters have a special bond with all its complex emotions – anger, resentment, competition and of course, love. But every son will also hear echoes of his own life with mother.

Mothers and daughters – sometimes they’re enemies, sometimes best friends.

You love her, sometimes you hate her. Sometimes she’s the last person you want to see. But she’s the first one you call for advice. That is the seesaw of feelings between mothers and daughters.

I think every daughter can relate to this.

I’d like to think that I have a good relationship with my mother now. But it hasn’t been always like that.

I remember being labeled a Papa’s girl when I was growing up. I’m not really sure how it started. And by the way, my sister, who always wanted to contradict me back then, was a self-proclaimed Mama’s girl. So you see, the complication started early on. But as far as I’m concerned, I loved both my parents equally. And I’m sure that each one of them loved both me and sister just the same.

And then my parents separated. I can’t really understand why I became loyal to my father even though I chose to stay with my mother. I think my mother resented that because my father was abusive to her. But he was my father and nothing could change my love for him.

I experienced that seesaw of feelings with my mother. One minute I was telling her everything that was happening in my life, and the next minute, I was sneaking out and hiding the truth.

My father has long been gone and my mother and I get along pretty well now. I confide in her and run to her when I have problems. We see each other at least once a week. We go to mass together, that’s because my family doesn’t have a vehicle and she gives us a ride to church. And she insists. She wants to make sure that we go to church every Sunday.

Sometimes she would volunteer to give me a ride to the grocery store. But I have learned that my closeness to my mother should have boundaries. I know she meant well when she didn’t want me to buy those tomatoes because they were so expensive. And my “But Ma, I need these tomatoes for the dish I’m making” isn’t acceptable to her. When she asked me how much those Asian pears and guavas were, I just ignored her because I didn’t want to argue with her. When she asked me to call her the next time I do my groceries and give her the taxi fare instead, I almost did because I knew that she could use the extra money especially now that gas prices are skyrocketing. But thanks, no thanks. And no offense please Ma. I’d rather do the groceries myself.

Here’s some more excerpt from that 20/20 show, Secrets of Mother/Daughter Relationships:

Deborah Tannen, author of the best-selling “You’re Wearing That?” explains why mother and daughter relationship is so complicated. She says, “Mothers and daughters talk more, talk about more personal topics. That means they may be closer but they also risk offending each other much more.”

There are four flashpoints in the mother and daughter relationship:

1. Appearance - Clothes, weight, hair. Women are judged by how they look and mothers are judged by how their daughters look.
2. Control – Mother sees daughter as a little girl.
3. (Motherly) Advice – Everytime mothers offer advice or suggestion for improvement, there’s an implied criticism. Mother sees it as caring. Daughter sees it as criticizing. If mothers can’t learn how to bite their tongue, daughters need to learn to use humour to diffuse tension.
4. Secrets – Daughters keep secrets from mom if they sense disapproval. Withholding information is a daughter’s way to gain power.

Tannen says that there is no magic formula to the perfect mother-daughter bond. But there are ways to make it work.

1. Bite your tongue.
2. Use humour.
3. See it from their point of view
4. Use praise. It’s also a form of power.

Read more at ABC News Love Her or Hate Her- She’s Still Your Mom.