Something new

I applied for a new position at work. It is one grade level higher than my current position. I love both my current supervisor and her assistant. They are just super nice. And the people in my area are also mostly nice. :) But when I learned about this position, I got interested because that means a higher pay. And I meet the job requirements anyway. I used to fret about being left behind because when I worked at home, I couldn't get any new training. I was stuck in my position for six years. Since I've been back at the office, I've been trained in a few different things.

They need five new people for this position. Three permanent and two temporary staff. I was hoping to get one of the permanent positions. But I thought that if I get the temporary position, which would last for four months, that wouldn't be too bad. It would be nice to learn and do something new even only for a little while.

So when I got the call from the manager and when she asked me if I was still interested in a temporary position, I said yes. She told me that they would review the position after four months and see if they'll still need the extra staff. So there's a possibility that I could become permanent. I asked her what will happen if I don't get permanent. I would be sent back to my department, which wouldn't be too bad. Because as I've said, I like it there and my supervisor is really nice.

We all started training last week. At first, the other temporary staff, let's just call her D, and I were told that we would be moving to the other office, which is just on a different floor. But that we would also be keeping our old desks in our current department. We don't have to move all our stuff, only the things that we need. That is, if our desks won't be needed for use of any new staff that would be coming in our department. But during the course of the week, as I was preparing to go on a one week vacation after training, my supervisor was telling me stuff that are the opposite of what I was told before.

Okay, first, I noticed that she removed me from her (email) mailing list and she also removed my sort box (inbox/mailbox) in our department on the first day of training. On the other hand, D was still receiving emails from her supervisor and she had retained her sort box. That alone had made me feel sad. Like I didn't belong there anymore and I haven't even started in my new department yet. And then on the last day of training, which was also the last day before my vacation, the new supervisor has confirmed with D and me that we could continue working overtime supporting the old department. We are not allowed to work overtime yet in the new department which is understandable since we can't be that productive yet if we are still learning new stuff. She also confirmed that we are keeping our old desks. On the other hand, my old supervisor told me that she and the manager in my old department will be reviewing my overtime and she told me to pack up my desk that same day. Her reason was that, anything can happen in four months. I wouldn't be too happy if they remove my overtime. I still need my overtime. Especially since I've learned, that I wouldn't get the new job grade level until I get fully trained, which I might not since I'm only hired temporarily for four months.

I don't know. I feel like I'm hanging in the middle of uncertainty here. I thought that applying for a new and higher position could only be good. But since I only got a temporary position, I am not too sure now. Or maybe I only have these feelings because I'm venturing into something new and feeling sad for leaving (temporarily) something that has been so familiar to me for many years, that is my old job, routines, and the friends that I have made in that department since I came back to work at the office seven months ago.