Monday, September 13, 2004

Children learn what they live

"When you think you don't feel their (children) pain when you hit her (wife), they feel her pain, " said Dr. Phil to a physically abusive husband.

I know that, because I felt her pain when he hit her all those times. I can still vividly recall.

"Children learn what they live," added Dr. Phil. Their children are taking on the ways of the husband. The 16-year old calls his girlfriend names, the 8-year old slams the door, and the 5-year old throws tantrums.

I came from a broken home but I'm glad that I turned out pretty good. In contrast to the ugly things that I witnessed at home, I was surrounded by family who loved and cared for me.

I've heard people say, "I've become my mother." In my case, it's "I've become 'Auntie C'. " Part of my teen years were spent with my aunt. She had a short temper and snapped at us when she was upset. ( I love my aunt dearly and I am still grateful to her. I'm just trying to make a point here.) I sometimes lose my temper at small things and snap the same way she did. I am working on it, though.

I try to set a good example to my children, but I am human and I have my faults. I hope that they will see beyond my imperfections. I try to instill in them good values and I hope they will apply them to their own lives.

Here's the complete version of "Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

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