On talking and speaking up

My high school classmate, Paul, recommended to me the movie Paulie. I was very eager to see it when he asked me to look at obvious parallelism with my journal entries and our high school life back in 1982. I thought I'd try to find a copy of this movie. I didn't have to search far since my sister has a tape of the film.

Paulie is a about a parrot that was given to Marie (Hallie Kate Eisenberg), a little girl who stuttered. Paulie (voiced by Jay Mohr) learned to talk as Marie was undergoing speech therapy. Paulie was separated from Marie and was transferred from one owner to the next until he ended up in the basement of a research lab where he met Misha (Tony Shalhoub), the Russian janitor. Paulie related to Misha how he had tried to search for Marie all this time and why he was sent in the basement, away from sunlight and any companion. Misha formed a friendship with Paulie, nourished him and helped him search for Marie.

One parallelism I saw was this. Paulie was transferred from one owner to the next. I have lived and moved from one place to another. I grew up in Noveleta, Cavite. When I was 12, my parents separated and Mama, my sister and I went to live with my aunt's family in Pandacan, Manila. After a year, Mama was able to get back up on her feet and we moved back to Cavite, this time in Imus. Two years later, Mama applied for a working visa in Canada, was luckily approved and went abroad, leaving sis and me with Auntie in Pandacan. I lived with Papa for a little while in Sampaloc and then in Mandaluyong before both sis and I settled in Pasig, where I met my future husband, Ronald. And now I am here in Winnipeg, Canada.

I think there are two important themes in the film.

First, Paulie being a parrot, it's about how talking gets us in trouble and how we have to be careful of the things we say. Sometimes, our mouth gets ahead of our brain and we let words out before thinking first. We have to be careful on how our words, either oral or written, will be interpreted by the receiver. Paulie had been in a lot of trouble for "talking." But as Misha said, "It's not that. It's how you say things. You have to be careful."

On the other hand, we have to speak up. For how will our listener or reader know how we feel or think about something. When I was in high school and even in elementary school, I was very shy and didn't participate much in class discussions or school organizations. And I think it had been to my detriment at times. I may have had these wonderful ideas but I just kept them to myself.

Misha told Paulie about the story of his love for this girl whom he went to school with. But he didn't tell her how he felt and the next thing he knew, she was marrying his best friend. "It's important to speak up," he said.

I can relate to Misha. As I have already mentioned, I was very shy and quiet when I was young. I was even surprised that a boy noticed me in high school and he actually became my first boyfriend. Somehow, we started drifting apart after a few months of dating until he stopped "seeing" me. I was heartbroken especially when I saw him with other girls at school. We would bump into each other and he would talk to me briefly but not about our relationship. I don't know why I didn't take the initiative to talk to him about what happened to us. It was probably pride. I didn't want him to think that I was still gaga over him if he wasn't interested in me anymore. Or it must be I thought that as a "dalagang Pilipina" (Filipino lady), I should be mahinhin (timid) and always let the guy speak up first. I have hoped for us to get back together until we graduated from college and I never saw him again. I then had to let him go. This is what I learned from that relationship. I have to speak up what's on my mind and how I feel.

So when the next guy came along, I made sure that I spoke up and told him how I felt. It worked. I am now married to this guy.

The second theme is Paulie's determination to find Marie. If there's a will there's a way, isn't there? Now, this one a can very well relate to.

In December 2001, I wrote my high school classmates in the Philippines. I haven't seen most of them since we graduated in 1982 and I have always wondered what happened to them. With 20-year old addresses and maiden names on those envelopes, I didn't expect much. But I wasn't discouraged when my then 13-year old son, Reggie, said, "That's impossible, Mommy!" A month later, I received that first e-mail from Annie Magdael, and the rest is, as they say, history. That e-mail was followed by several e-mails, not just from Annie, but some from other classmates as well, including my dear friend, Josephine Briones, and of course, Paul.

When Paulie narrated this: "Marie couldn't talk. Dad couldn't listen. Mom couldn't cope. So they got rid of me." I was reminded of my uncle and my aunt. They were very strict that they drove my boyfriend away. Yet I couldn't say or do anything. I was helpless.

Here are some more memorable quotes from Paulie:

"The things you love most are the things they take away."

"There are things in life you put off because you think you're gonna do them later. But the real thing Ivy taught me is: You gotta live like there may not be a later."

"How do you know if you met the right woman? She has to be pretty... smart... She has books on her table or flowers on her hair. It's important to have high standards."

"Talking just gets you into trouble. No, it's not that. It's how you say things. You have to be careful."

Paulie is a heartwarming family movie. My kids didn't want to watch it with me, though. I don't know if it's a boy thing, or it could be that they have outgrown this type of movies.

Revisiting my cultural heritage

Michelle wrote this entry on the guest book of Catherine’s Corner:

“Hey! I was bored tonight and being in the Folklorama aftermast of sadness I decided to google the word "magdaragat" and see what comes up. I read your page entry about your visit to our pavillion (pearl of the orient) a few years ago and I have to say I was very entertained to hear an audience member’s point of view from the entire experience! I've been a member of the group for 7 or 8 years or something, and this is the first thing like this I've read. I hope that visit wasn't your last!”

I think it’s cool that pages of my humble website appear in Google searches. And no, it wasn’t my last visit. Actually, I have been visiting the Philippine pavilions ever since.

Last week, we went to see the “Nayong Pilipino” pavilion held at the new Philippine-Canadian Centre of Manitoba (PCCM) building. As usual, I was mesmerized by the opening song. A Filipina youth rendered Sana’y Wala Nang Wakas, originally popularized by Sharon Cuneta. I was enthralled once again by the graceful movements of the Kayumanggi dancers in their colourful costumes. I finally had the chance to see the dances from the North. I was looking forward to watching the Igorot dance. It was the first time I saw a live performance of men clad only in bahag (G-strings). I also saw some of the dances from the South, the Moslem dances. I was in awe while I watched a couple dance, each of them on top of just a single thick bamboo pole carried by two men. They both managed to dance gracefully without falling off. Whew! And I just can never get enough of the tinikling. Ang galing talaga ng mga mananayaw.

And of course, going to a Filipino gathering like this, I bumped into a few familiar faces. And it’s always a treat to taste our delicacies. A huge tent was set up to accommodate the eating area. I noticed that there was only a small room for the cultural displays. I think that the PCCM building is quite small to hold a Philippine pavilion. But we had fun though.

Folklorama, by the way, is an annual two-week event that celebrates the diverse cultural heritage of the people who settled in Manitoba and Canada. Pavilions are hosted in church basements, community halls, gymnasiums and theatres of schools. The pavilions showcase traditional home-cooked meals, cultural displays, music and dances of the different cultures of the world.

Do they speak Tagalog?

Two years ago I wrote Do They Speak Tagalog? in Catherine’s Corner. In observance of Buwan ng Wika (Language Month) in the Philippines, I am republishing this post.

It has been my mission to teach my children how to speak my native language, Tagalog. I don't really know why it is that important to me. My main reasoning is that when I am old and gray and have Alzheimer's Disease, or as we say in our native tongue, "kapag ako'y uliyanin na," and I forget the English language, I don't want them fighting over their inheritance (if ever they will inherit anything) because they can't understand me when I tell them what each of them will get.

I talked to my first child, Reggie, in Taglish (a combination of English and Tagalog). His babysitters, (he had been through three) were all elderly Filipino women who talked to him in Tagalog. I noticed a problem when he was already three years old, ready to start nursery school, and he couldn't talk in straight sentences, neither in Tagalog nor in English. I even recall that he called Batman, "Memen." You know how the Whites say "bat" with a long "a" sound and also "man" with a long "a," hence, "memen." My husband's uncle said, "He must have taken from his Daddy. Ronald was a late talker, too."

I sent Reggie to nursery school, worried that the teacher and the other kids would not understand him. Luckily he learned to talk in straight English soon after he started school. I continued to talk to him in Taglish and it worked out fine. Then came my second child, Ryan. I talked to Ryan the same way I talked to Reggie, in Taglish. I sent Ryan to a family daycare run by a very nice white lady after my 6-month maternity leave was over. Between the nice white lady and Reggie talking to Ryan in English, and watching TV shows that were in English, Ryan's first language became the English language. Same thing happened with my third child Ryland, who also went to daycare. And so it happened that as my three children were growing up, they were talking to their friends in school in English; and at home they were talking to each other in English. They talked to me in English and they answered me in English (they still do) even though I asked them something in Tagalog.

When Reggie was in the 2nd or 3rd grade, they had a routine hearing test at school. He came home with a letter from the teacher advising me that the test results were not good. I made an appointment for him to see a hearing specialist. I thought maybe that he did have a hearing problem. Sometimes at home, he would not hear me when I tell him, "Reggie, lumayo ka sa TV (get away from the TV)," or "Reggie, hinaan mo ang TV (turn down the volume)." We went to see an audiologist and after a few tests, the audiologist told me that his hearing was perfect. She explained to me that maybe he was just distracted at school and didn't hear the teacher when he was called. And since he didn't "hear" me at home either, that was when I realized that he did not understand me when I told him "lumayo ka sa TV (get away from the TV)." But when I told him "move away from the TV," he quickly did so.

Later on I was talking to my kids more in English than I talked to them in Tagalog. Their dad would talk to them in Tagalog and they would not understand him. Their dad would get upset when he'd ask "Reggie, kunin mo ang kamiseta ko sa itaas (get my shirt upstairs)," or "Ryan, hanapin mo ang tsinelas ko (go find my slippers)," and they won't budge from their seats because they didn't understand what he just said. When I told their dad "Don't get mad at them. Translate it in English. They didn't understand you." Ronald turned on me and said, "lagi mo kasi silang ini-inglis (That’s because you always talk to them in English)." I just couldn't help it. My child talked to me in English and my instinct was to reply in English.

I started talking to them more in Tagalog. It was not a piece of cake though. It took a lot of patience. Read more here.

What are real matters of consequence?

Before I start reading a thick book this summer, I thought I'd revisit The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. The Little Prince may seem like a children’s book but it really addresses both the children and the adults in us. This is a story about love and loneliness.

I first read this book when I was a Freshman at Centro Escolar University. My Psychology teacher suggested that we read The Little Prince. And I did. That’s how easily one can persuade me. Well, not all the time.

The narrator is a pilot who met the little prince when he was stranded in the Sahara Desert. The narrator learned that the little prince lived alone in a tiny planet no larger than a house and where he owned three volcanoes, two active and one extinct. He also owned a flower, one of a kind, very beautiful but very proud. It was this pride that set the little prince to travel and he told the narrator about the different kinds of adults and creatures that he met. The reader will realize that one encounters these characters regularly.

The king claims that he rules the universe. Although his orders are reasonable, they are ridiculous. He gives orders that people will do anyway, such as yawning. The conceited man hears only praises. He craves for admiration. The tippler (drunkard) drinks to forget that he is ashamed of drinking. The businessman is too much occupied with counting the stars, which he claims he owns yet he doesn’t know what they are called. He is too busy to even greet and talk to his visitor. The lamplighter is the only one of them all whom the little prince could have befriended because he is the only one thinking of something else besides himself. But his planet has no room on it for two people. The geographer hasn’t explored his own magnificent planet because he believed that it is the explorer’s job, yet he has not a single explorer on his planet. “The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd,” the little prince said.

On earth, the little prince met a snake that only speaks in riddles because it claims that it can solve them all. He came upon a garden of roses where he realized that his rose wasn’t one of a kind after all. He met a fox that taught him how to tame (establish ties with) it because “One only understands the things that one tames.” The fox also revealed its secret to the little prince: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” The fox explained, “It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”

The little prince also met a railway switchman who explained to him that travelers rush to different directions and are never satisfied where they are and that “only the children know what they are looking for.” He met a merchant who sold pills that quench thirst “because they save a tremendous amount of time. With these pills, you save fifty-three minutes in every week.” Yet the little prince said to himself, “If I had fifty-three minutes to spend as I liked, I should walk at my leisure toward a spring of fresh water.

The Little Prince reminds us of the innocence of children and their constant thirst for knowledge. It also reminds us how adults are sometimes dull and unimaginative and how they are always busy with matters of consequence.

The Little Prince is a tiny book full of profound and hidden meanings.

Dog days of summer

Here in Winnipeg, we get the extreme temperatures from both ends of the thermometer – from minus 33C (or lower) in the winter to plus 33C (or higher) in the summer. I think this is the hottest day this summer, so far. We reached a high of plus 32C with a humidex factor of 7. So it really felt like it was plus 40C. We had the aircon on for the last two days. This is one more reason I enjoy working at home. I don’t have to go out there under the heat of the sun. I did go out this noon in the sweltering heat to water my flowers. They looked so thirsty. My white petunias are thriving but the red pansies are struggling against the heat. We’ve had quite a few really hot days that we had melted chocolate bars and we had to put them in the fridge. We had steamed rice as well that had been spoiled. And I was sunburnt when I went to the baseball game. Well, I guess I can’t complain too much. This is a lot better than the summer we had last year.

Summer trivia:

Why are hot days referred to as dog days?

The phrase dog days is said to have originated in Roman times as canicularis dies, 'days of the dog,' referring to the dog star Sirius or Procyon. The Romans thought the rising of the most brilliant star of the constellation Canis Major contributed to the heat of summer.

Source of trivia: http://dictionary.reference.com/features/summer.html