All good things come to an end

When I woke up RK and kissed him, he said that he didn’t want a kiss, only a hug. Sometimes when I kiss him, he would wipe his cheek with his palm. I'm glad that he still lets me hug him. The other two don't. Sometimes I’d stare at him while he’s sleeping. His skin is so smooth and he has this soft tiny moustache. He has been hairy since he was a baby. I’m trying to savour this closeness since I know that before I know it, he will grow up and start to pull away, like his older brothers did.

I mailed my Christmas cards today while the kids were having lunch.

It snowed in the afternoon.

After being a 74-day champion on Jeopardy, Ken Jennings finally lost with winnings of $2,520,700 to Nancy Zerg. RC and I have been following Ken and wondered when he’d finally lose.

The category: Business & Industry
The clue: Most of this firm’s 70,000 white-collar seasonal employees work only 4 months a year.
Nancy’s answer: H & R Block
Ken’s answer: Fed Ex
Alex Trebek called Nancy the giant killer and commented that all good things come to an end.

Before the final answer was revealed I knew that the answer must have something to do with taxes. (I once worked with the Taxation.) I was right. How could Ken not get it? I was kind of sad to see him lose.

I knew it!

I decided to start work early, 6:30 a.m., since I had to leave at around 5:00 p.m. for my dentist appointment. The phone rang at around 7:00 a.m. “Gaudie is not going to school. He has been throwing up since last night. Can he stay there with you?” That was Mama. “I think he had too much pasta last night. He threw up. I gave him warm milk. Threw up again. This morning, I think we didn’t warm the soup up really good. He threw up again,” she added. Yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko. She probably let him eat as much as he could. You can’t do that to kids.

Seven-year old Gaudie stayed with me while I worked. I let him take a nap in RK’s bed. Later, he went downstairs and I gave him some arrowroot cookies. That was the closest thing to crackers that we had. (I didn’t realize that we had Skyflakes.) I knew that crackers are the best thing if you are throwing up (like when you have morning sickness during pregnancy). I gave him water to drink, from the Brita, not cold. He was fine. He didn’t throw up. I let him watch TV until around noon. We went to their house and waited for his siblings. Then he asked for his bucket and begun throwing up. I decided to call Dr. D. It was a good thing that we got an appointment at 1:00 p.m.

Dr. D told me to give him crackers (I was right), diluted apple juice, ginger ale, Powerade, or 7-up (I knew that too).

The sidewalks were very icy. It can be very tricky walking on ice. I tried to avoid the shiny ice as much as possible. But kids just slide through ice as if they’re skating. I see them sliding through the ice gracefully on their way to school. Sometimes, I still slip.

I left at around 5:00 p.m. for my dentist’s appointment. It was already pitch dark outside. Houses and apartments were lit with Christmas lights.

I had a root canal. I asked the dental assistant how long it would take. She told me about an hour and a half. She placed the rubber dam around my mouth, which would be open for the entire procedure. I wasn’t looking forward to that. Dr. J told me to open my mouth as wide as I could. He started poking and probing on my tooth. I held on to the armrests for my dear life. Sometimes he would squish my lips really hard. That felt uncomfortable. We were done in an hour. Dr. J couldn’t finish the root canal because it was complicated. There was not enough room in one of the canals for him to get through. He referred me to a periodontist, a specialist who will finish the procedure.

The Greatest

I watched the final showdown of “The Greatest Canadian.” I have been following the show and watched the documentaries of the top ten finalists. It was very interesting to learn about these Canadians. It’s like studying Canadian history.

Top Ten (in order):
1. Tommy Douglas, Father of Medicare
2. Terry Fox, ran the Marathon of Hope, fought cancer
3. Pierre Trudeau, the charismatic Prime Minister, promoted bilingualism and multi-culturalism
4. Sir Frederick Banting, discovered insulin
5. David Suzuki, a scientist whose cause is to save the planet
6. Lester B. Pearson, won the Nobel Peace prize for creation of UN peacekeeping force
7. Don Cherry, hockey commentator
8. Sir John A. MacDonald, the first Prime Minister
9. Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone
10. Wayne Gretzky, The Great One in hockey

I have been rooting for Douglas ever since the show started. Without him we wouldn’t have free visits to the doctor and free hospitalization. At first, RC was rooting for Gretzky because he’s into sports. Later, he switched to Fox, probably because of the yearly Terry Fox Run at school. Today, he said that he was rooting for MacDonald. He said that they were discussing about it at school and they voted for their favourites. RC changed his mind. He learned that MacDonald united Canada. That was a good choice. Although, the majority of his class voted for Douglas.

On leaving, overtime and trimmings

Sis, F and Carus left at 5:00 a.m. Carus was cranky because they only had a couple of hours of sleep. Our friend T drove them to the airport. Mama and my niece A also went. Mama said that she overheard A telling her 14 and 11 year old brothers, “Guys, if you don’t obey me, it will be really hard for me.” Poor A. She's only 16.

I remember the first time Mama went abroad. I was only 15. Of course, this was a different situation. Mama left sis and me with my aunt so that she could work in Canada. I was crying the first time she phoned us. I couldn't talk. I was sobbing.

I worked 5 hours overtime. I would have done more if I didn’t have to do my groceries and leave at 5:00 p.m. for church. The other day when I was talking to my friend E, she told me that she told the girls how we were discussing about overtime. I told E how it came up in my yearly evaluation with my Supervisor earlier this year. I felt guilty that I didn’t have any overtime last year. It’s hard enough to pull a seven-and-a-half workday as it is. So overtime during weekdays can be really tough. Overtime, in our yearly performance, falls under ‘team effort.’ Performance looks better if we contributed to the team.

I always carry a small notebook in my purse where I could write ideas that pop in my head, or when I need to write a phone number, address or notes. When we are in church, RK gets bored and I let him write in my small notebook. Tonight he wrote, “I like Christmas because of all the presents.”

After supper, I brought up the Christmas tree and asked the kids to help me bring up the decorations. We set it up in the living room by the window, where it always has been during the Christmas season. They put up the trimmings. Last year, I bought gold and silver ornaments. It’s nicer to look at if there’s a motif. The kids can still hang up the decorations that they will make at school.

News travels fast

It was RK’s and RC’s Parent-teacher meeting. They didn’t have school today.

At RC’s room.
Mrs. M: I heard that you are looking after the kids while your sister is gone.
Me: Oh no, I will just be helping them out since we live next door to each other.
Mrs. M said that she didn’t know until about a month ago that RC and Angelus were cousins. She also said that the two always want to be the first. Well, that’s RC. RC is improving in writing and speaking. “And he is just so cute,” she added. She mentioned that we seemed to be a good family. “That’s good parenting,” she said. I beamed.

At RK’s room:
Mrs. S: I heard that you will be looking after the kids.
Me: Oh, no. I’m just helping out. My mother will be staying with them.
RK is learning very well at school. I told Mrs. S that I’ve noticed that he’s been reading very well. He does a lot of reading and writing at home.

At night, I went over next door. Sis and F haven’t started packing yet. It was a good thing that sis was able to apply for passports for her and Carus that quick. F already has a passport since he went home just last May to celebrate his mother’s birthday.

I told my niece A that she wouldn’t have to come home at lunch. I would come over to help the kids. Sis mentioned something about a WILL. I told Mama jokingly that if anything happens to them that we would take 3 kids each. I would take the girls. I didn’t want any more boys as I already have 3.

I was over there for about an hour and a half. I would have stayed longer but I haven’t had supper yet and I needed to get the kids to bed since they have catechism in the morning.

RK: Mommy, I missed you.
Mom: Oh, You missed me. But I was just next door.
RK: I cried when you were gone.
Mom: Oh!

You learn something new everyday

At noon, I went to Pharma Plus and mailed a request for a sample copy of a magazine. This is part of my assignments for my course. I also went to Royal Bank to buy a money order for back issues of a U.S. magazine that I ordered a few weeks ago. I confirmed with the teller that I can’t pay a U.S. company with a Canadian cheque. I have to buy a money order for that. The guy told me to go to my own bank. He thought that my bank wouldn’t charge me for it. So off I went to my bank. The lady at the counter told me that there was a charge of $6.00. She told me, “If you buy the money order at the Post Office, they will be cheaper. You can buy them at any postal outlet. Pharma Plus has one.” “Oh, I was just there to mail something,” I said. I went back to Pharma Plus and bought my money order. I paid Cdn$7.26 for the US$6.00, plus $4.00 fee. All that trouble just to order that US magazine. It was also a good thing that I called the telebus for the bus schedules, or I would have been out for a long time.

banished

On the Dr. Phil Show, Rachel was on. She was a 16-year old who got pregnant and her parents, especially her mother, weren’t too thrilled about it. The day after she told her mother that she was pregnant, her mother sent her to a maternity home. Apparently, Rachel and her mom weren’t getting along. Mom thought that Rachel was rebelling ever since she met a boy, and was furious to learn that it wasn’t the same boy who got her pregnant. Mom sent her away because there were two little sisters at home. She was “protecting” them. Rachel felt betrayed to be yanked away from her family just like that. She missed being home and being with her sisters. Mom felt that she didn’t know how to deal with Rachel’s problem and so sent her to the maternity home, which was a good facility and would help Rachel during this difficult time.

This reminded me a lot of when I was 17 and a girl my age got pregnant. Let’s just call her P. P's older sister was the first one to notice her bulging stomach. Their mother didn’t even notice, or she was probably just in denial. P run away from home to her friend’s house in Bataan. P’s family asked the police’s help to find her. When they did, P was made to stay at ‘Auntie C’s house, where sis and I were also staying. P wouldn’t tell them who the father of her baby was. She told them that she was raped. But P told my cousin T that it was actually her high school teacher who got her pregnant. Her teacher was married and has a family.

P’s mother sent her away to ‘Auntie C' because she didn’t want their neighbours to know about the family disgrace. Her mother also made arrangements to have the baby adopted. She said that if P didn’t know who the father was, how would she know how the baby would turn out. P was helpless. The baby was taken away from her right after birth. She didn’t know who adopted the baby. She didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl.

P is now married and is trying to have a baby. I’ve always wanted to ask her about her first baby. Did she ever try contacting her child? He or she must be an adult by now. But I don’t know how she feels about that. I don’t want to stir emotions that she probably wants to forget.

sad news

Sis called me after lunch. F’s Nanay died. She was over 80 years old. She has had asthma attacks recently and passed away in the car on the way to the hospital. Nanay had recently confided to son Dante that it’s sad when you’re that old already. She has been widowed for a long time.

RK read Dr. Seuss’ “Go Dogs Go” all by himself. He has learned a lot.

I need a good laugh

It’s winter wonderland outside. It’s time to bring out the winter boots and snow pants. It looked slippery outside.

I enjoy watching “The Ellen Degeneres Show.” She just cracks me up. On days that I’m feeling blue, I’ll just watch Ellen to get a laugh and I’ll feel better. Sometimes I laugh out loud even if I’m alone.

My friend E called. I was asking her if they were going to the holiday luncheon on December 9. They were and I asked her to save me a seat in their table. She’s in training now for medical benefits. It reminded me again that I’ll be stuck in my current position as long as I work at home. It doesn’t really bother me that much because I really enjoy working at home. The kids are my priority and my current situation is working very well for all of us. Besides, if I give up working at home, I won’t be able to write as much. It would be really hard to give up the comforts of working from home.

I finished reading The Good Earth. I first read this book about 20 some years ago and I had no recollection of what the story was all about when I started reading it this time.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

I overslept. RG woke me up at 7:10 a.m. I got up and felt the ache in my lower right back. The raking. The right side. I was sleeping on my right side.

Jamie Lee Curtis was on “ The Ellen Degeneres Show.” It was Jamie's birthday. Every year on her birthday, she would call her mom and walk her through the final moments before her birth. “Ok Janet, it’s time to push.” Her mom would then make the sound of a crying baby. Jamie was in tears since she lost her mom just recently. Her mother was Janet Leigh, star of the movie classic, Psycho. Jamie said that she believes that a birthday is something between you and your mom, whoever you are in the world. That was so beautiful and so true.

There were snow flurries in the afternoon. The kids went home with wet jackets. Well, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. It’s the first snowfall of the season. It wasn’t as dark at night anymore with the reflection of the snow on the ground.

The day after

R left the beer bottles and glasses on the coffee table in the basement. I didn’t clean them up. I refuse to clean up after his drinking mess. It always brings up memories of Papa’s drinking. One scene is still very vivid in my mind. It happened in our kitchen in Noveleta. Mama was crying while she was washing the floor. Papa must be having a meal on the table. It looked like Papa was mad at Mama, or he must be drunk. This memory comes back to me everytime I see R’s mess after a night of drinking.

The kids and I went to Mass with Mama. On the church parking lot, we saw Terry’s youngest son driving their van. Student driver. He’s 15 ½. RG would be driving soon. How scary is that.

I finally finished and mailed Assignment 6 and got RG’s birthday party out of the way. Sigh of relief!!!

I raked the leaves in the backyard. I wanted to get them out of there before the snow falls. It’s good that the snow is late this year because I haven’t had the chance to rake the leaves up until this day. I didn’t really want to do it but nobody else would. I didn’t want to leave the leaves there all Winter. When the snow melts in the Spring, and the leaves thaw, there’s gonna be molds, not good for kids with asthma. I asked RG to help me bag the leaves since I wanted to take it easy. Bending over makes my back hurt.

After raking the leaves, I lay down for a nap. I asked RK to lie beside me and tell me bedtime stories. He’s good at making up stories. I woke up at past 4 p.m. and did the rest of the vacuuming.

I was really tired at night.

On birthdays

Happy birthday, RG. 15 years old na!

I cooked spaghetti, made macaroni salad and bought 2 whole barbecued chickens. I also ordered 3 large pizzas. Sis, F, and the kids came over at around 3:30 p.m. C dropped her kids off at around 4 p.m. Ate A dropped off her boys at around 5 p.m. The sisters were trying to avoid each other. (???) They were not in speaking terms. K said that it has been 4 months since she last saw her cousins. They were happy to see each other again.

I had this conversation, similar to the one I had with C earlier, when Ate A picked up the boys:
Ate A: Ilang taon na si RG?
Me: 15 na.
Ate A: Biruin mo ang laki na ano?
M: Oo nga eh. Matatanda na rin tayo.
Actually I only notice that I’m getting older as I watch my children grow. Aside of course from the certain aches and pains here and there. I still feel young at heart.

Ate A also asked me, “Lagi mo silang ipinaghahanda kapag birthday nila ano?” “Syempre, so that they feel special,” I replied. “Bakit sila ba hindi mo laging ipinaghahanda?” I asked her back. No, she said.

As long as I could remember, Mama has always cooked pancit on our birthdays. Even when sis and I went to live with ‘Auntie C,’ there was always at least pancit on our birthdays. I’ve continued to do that until now. I cook either spaghetti or pancit (for long life) on our birthdays.

R’s friend N came over when everybody was gone. Nag-inuman sila and of course the stereo was blasting again. They didn’t hear the neighbour ringing the doorbell. I came downstairs and told them. N parked his car on the neighbour’s driveway. The neighbour asked them to move his car.

Of break-ups, striped, and legacy

On “The View,” the ladies were talking about getting over a break-up. It’s hard for everybody. And it’s not really good if you have a low self-esteem. I think that’s why it has been hard for me to get over my first heartbreak. My first boyfriend didn’t even formally break up with me. He just stopped seeing me. When I saw him later on with other girls, I couldn’t help comparing myself to them. I thought, of course, that girl, or this girl is taller than me. Why would he want to stay with a short girl like me when he was six foot tall. My self-esteem sunk after that break-up.

RK has encountered the word “striped” in 2 of the books that he read this week. It’s cute to hear him read stripe-ped, which of course I corrected on both times. I remember when RG used to read jump-ped (jumped).

On “Primetime-Prince Harry and the Forgotten Kingdom,” Prince Harry spent a year off before college in Lesotho helping kids infected with AIDS. His mother, Princess Diana, planted a seed in her sons. Harry wanted to continue her mother’s legacy. He felt that’s what she would have wanted him and brother Will to do.

William was 15 and Harry 12 when Diana died in a tragic accident trying to avoid the paparazzi. Just to think that William was only as old as RG is now when he lost his mother. I couldn’t imagine my kids losing me at such young ages.

The cake

It was the warmest day of the week. I decided to go today to buy ice cream cake at Dairy Queen. I went during my lunch break. I bought the biggest size (a slab) as I need one for around 20 people. I had to wait for the bus home for about 30-40 minutes. I was worried that the cake would melt. I stayed away from the sun. There was a picnic table outside the store. I went there and placed the cake on the seat behind the shadow of the table. I thought of going back to the store to ask the girl to put the cake back in the freezer. But I was worried that if I did, I might miss the bus. It comes only every 40 minutes during the day. I just waited outside. It was a little cold anyway as I had to wear my gloves. I figured it was just like fridge temperature. So it wasn’t that bad. Forty minutes of waiting and another 30 minutes on the bus – that was over an hour that the cake was outside the freezer. It didn’t melt though. The decoration and icing didn’t get soggy. The cake was saved.

On taxes and fighting

RK, RG and I went to Zellers. RK needed to buy a present for his friend Blake. RG still couldn’t find winter shoes that he liked. He bought 2 sweaters instead. I told the cashier that the sweaters were for my 15-year old son so that I won’t have to pay taxes. She said that the no-tax is only for 14 and under. “Actually, he’s still 14, his birthday is next week,” I said. I didn’t know about that no-tax thing. She said that it depends on the store. Some stores impose the no-tax for 12 and under.

At night…
Mom: RK, don’t fight with Kuya RC, okay, also not with Kuya RG. Fighting is not good.
RK: But you fight with Daddy. This house is a fighting machine.
Although he said that in jest, I was taken aback. So my kids are aware of it. We should really stop fighting, especially in front of them.

Tampuhan

I worked 4 hours overtime today.

I e-mailed invitations to Ate A and C to come over next week on RG’s birthday. I didn‘t know that they were not speaking to each other. I just learned it from sis when I called her. I respect the sisters (Ate A and C) but I hate being caught in the middle of any tampuhan. I have been in situations like that before with family members and sometimes even friends.

At night, Kumpareng R and N came over. The stereo was blasting and I was ticked off again. But I tried to keep my cool. And I am proud of myself for that. I’ve been working overtime all week and I just want to relax. I told R to keep please keep it down when he came up. Later N also came up and talked to me when I was in the kitchen. He called the other day looking for R. He didn’t know that R’s gone back to work and that I work at home. It’s hard to be friendly when I am tired and ticked off.

overlooked

Kids still had no school although I had work. The muscles on my arms were sore. Kids were testing my patience with their bickerings. The shrimp burned. I asked RG to look after the shrimp. He either didn’t hear me when I told him to turn it off in 5 minutes or he was too pre-occupied in the computer.

I noticed that I have more patience with the kids than I do with R.

Or it could be just that I realized that although RG's a teen-ager now, he is still just a kid. When I was around 12 or 13, Mama, sis, and I were living with my aunt in Manila. Mama was out one day and has asked me to prepare lunch before she came home. (Although we were living in the same house, Mama insisted to Auntie that we prepare our own food.) Well, I was young and I totally forgot the time. I forgot to cook something for lunch. Mama was very disappointed at me when she came home starving. I guess I didn't want to show my disappointment to RG since he does help a lot around the house. This was just one time that he messed up.

A back-breaking job

Remembrance Day. No school. It was a holiday but I worked 3 hours overtime. After lunch I asked the kids to help me rake the leaves. I would really rather not do it but the lawn really needs raking and R wouldn’t do it. “Ako na lang ang maghuhugas ng pinggan,” he said. He picked the lighter chore. That really ticks me off. Later that day, my back hurt.

Procrastination

This is one thing that I seem to be practicing lately. I had been putting off fixing RK’s winter jacket until it gets colder. And of course we woke up to a minus 1 degree C. I hurriedly sewed the hole on his jacket while they were having breakfast.

Yesterday morning, I went rummaging through the children’s old winter clothes so that I could have an idea of how many pants both RC and RK needed because we were going shopping that afternoon.

Another thing I’ve been putting off is Assignment 6 in my course, “Breaking into Print,” which is due on November 28. I have to mail it to U.S. at least one week before the deadline. I don’t know why I always wait until the last 2 weeks before sitting on an assignment.

Heading south

The kids and I went shopping for pants, winter boot and shoes. These kids grow up so fast. It was kind of cold outside and some people were already wearing their winter coats. We still had our spring jackets on. We should have worn our winter coats. When we were walking home, we saw the birds in the sky flying in a straight line. It was cool to watch them do that. They must be heading south for the winter.

Something fishy

The house was smoky from overfried fish when I came home from grocery shopping at noon. They were already starting to have lunch. RG was upstairs puffing his inhaler. RG is allergic to fish. He gets rashes around his mouth when he eats fish. Even a spoon that has touched fish will give him rashes. He hasn’t eaten fish since we learned that he was allergic. I think I did let him try a couple of times before, but he still got the rashes. Sometimes when R fries fish, and he likes them overcooked, it gets smoky in the house. RG’s asthma would then act up.

He's blurry

RK had an appointment with the optometrist. He went to see her last year and she asked us to come back this year. RK’s vision testing at school went okay. But RK has been complaining whenever we were at church that he couldn’t see the priest at the front. “He’s blurry," he would say. Sometimes he would wear my glasses but he couldn’t really tell if he sees clearly with them on.

Before we headed to the bus stop, RK and I went to 7-11 to buy bus tickets. I realized that I forgot to bring the doctor’s address with me. We hurried back home to get it, but we missed the bus. We walked up the street all the way to the highway where we were to catch the connecting bus to the clinic. It wasn’t that cold anyway and we took our time walking so that he won’t get too tired. We enjoyed looking at the bushes which had these lovely bright red-orange colour. Most of the trees were already leafless.

Last year the optometrist told me that RK was on the borderline of wearing glasses. As of now, he has difficulty reading from a distance but doesn’t need to wear glasses yet. Although, he will for sure in a year’s time. In the meantime, she suggested that I ask his teacher to make him sit at the front of the class and try to watch if he’s squinting. If he does, he has to be checked again and he may need to wear glasses sooner.

Ate Vi

Today is Vilma Santos’ 51st birthday. She is called Ate Vi (Vee) in the Philippines. That’s not how they say Vi here in North America. When RG was in 3rd or 4th grade, he got an invitation to his friend’s birthday party. When I called the boy’s mother to confirm that he was going, I asked for Vi (Vee), as indicated on the RSVP. The voice on the other line said, “Oh you meant Vi (Vye).” That was embarrassing.

What's holding you back?

After dinner, the commercial/public announcement from Manitoba Public Insurance came on TV. It was about a kid who lost his father because he didn’t wear his seatbelt. The announcement appealed, “If you’re not wearing your seatbelt, what’s holding you back?” RK blurted out, “the chair.” Kids say the darndest things.

Of childbirth

The cast of Finding Neverland was on Oprah today. Kate Winslet said that she felt guilty when she had her first child by Caesarian Section. She was not a petite woman and she thought that she had good child-bearing hips. After 37 hours of labor, she had to have her baby by C-Section.

I had similar feelings. I felt that I had an incomplete experience in childbirth since I didn’t get to push my babies out. I was in labor for over 20 hours with both my 2 oldest sons but I wasn’t dilating progressively. I had C-Sections with both of them. When I got pregnant with my 3rd baby, my gynecologist suggested that I should elect surgery. I even questioned her suggestion. She threw a question back at me, "With your history, are you really willing to go through long hours of labor and then have surgery at the end anyway?" So I elected to have C-Section with my 3rd baby.

Growing pains

RK was experiencing leg pains again – growing pains. I remember when RG experienced those pains. I brought him to the doctor and was told that those were growing pains. She explained that his bones were growing. I used to massage his legs with Oil of Wintergreen. Now, I massage RK's legs without the oil. “Growing Pains” was also the title of a TV sitcom that I used to watch.

Can I have one more?

There are too many candies in the house (Halloween treats). I don’t like it. RK kept asking me, “Can I have one more candy?” I kept saying, “Okay, only one.” But I think that he’s had more than enough by the end of the day. I was worried that he might dirty his pants when he’s sleeping at night. It has happened to RG before.

When RG was about two years old, R, RG and I went to live with Tito R for a little while. I suspected one afternoon when I came home from work that Tito R gave RG a bag of M&Ms. I think I told Tito R that he shouldn’t have given RG too much chocolates because he could have diarrhea. When we were all sleeping that night, all three of us in bed, (Tito R was kind enough to let us use his bedroom and he slept in the couch in the living room) R suddenly woke up when he felt something wet. RG pooped in his pants. Diarrhea. We all got up to clean the mess.